One of our longtime contributors, and also a fellow blogger, is a woman known as Rougedmount. We really enjoy her contributions on our blog, and we thought it might be fun to do an interview with her that would allow her the opportunity to share her in-depth views on a variety of sex and relationships topics.
For those of you who have seen any of her posts, or checked out her blog, you know that she has an amazing gift to be able to express her thoughts on any topic. Whatever subject she writes about is always written with great clarity, rich in detail and vividly described. She is also not bashful talking about any sexual topic and letting you know exactly what she thinks about it and why. I know the guys on this blog really do enjoy reading an “unfiltered” view of what women really think about penis size, sex and relationships. From that standpoint, her contributions are invaluable to all of us.
We hope you enjoy this interview with our fellow blogger and friend, Rougedmount!
- Can you provide us with a little bit of your background?
I am attractive by some standards and generally get unwanted attention for my appearance. I certainly do not need any of the extra attention my looks combined with my words, would bring me. I think how I look has helped me to understand some of the issues a man with a small penis has. I am judged constantly on what people SEE and not what they experience. Some men LIKE my body type while others HATE it. I do not focus on those who don’t like me; instead I focus on the type of man who does. A man with a small penis has to do the exact same thing.
Who I am is complex. I am exactly the same as everyone else in that my history has shaped and defined me, but never broken me. I won’t allow it. I was an abused child, an Independent woman, I grew up too soon. I’m educated, I’m Alpha, I’m sexually submissive but only to men who are actually dominant and if they aren’t then I crush them verbally.
I get male attention. I am far from perfect but I have a presence and confidence that carries me. People always assume that “I’m someone”. I looked like Jessica Rabbit for a majority of my life and perhaps that has something to do with my disregard for my looks. People assume I am younger than I am and I have one word for them “sunscreen”. I was a child of the 80’s who didn’t look like it as I have always been ‘non-conformist’ as to what I looked like compared to others.
I can ride a motorcycle, a stick shift, a tractor and a horse all with equal skill. I sail, I kayak, I swim, I write, I sketch with Ink and do water color when I have time. I cook from scratch, I have a massive garden. I do all the home renovations and yard work.
My story is like many others. Married over 25 yrs. and was faithful for the first 22. Counselling, therapy, separation then reconciliation; repeat for 10 years. Learning he lied time and again. Learning that some things are too big to get over, even though you try for 15 years and realizing that you should never have tried to work things out in the first place.
I started writing online as a ‘diary’ and had no idea how blogging worked. I wrote for 2 yrs. before anyone read anything. One day I was curious about a little orange light that flashed while I was writing and had never seen it do that before and so I clicked on it. WOW. People could see what I write and had been commenting. There was a whole world in here I had no idea existed.
I write about my past, my present and my fantasy. I have real life mixed in with stories. I write when something comes into my head and have discovered I have writers’ Attention deficit disorder. I am very focused on writing daily now. I need it, it’s cathartic. It helps me focus and grow.
I don’t have a writing genre; I am not focused on stats or style. I write for me and if what I say holds value for others, that both amazes me and inspires me to continue expressing myself.
- You’re a regular follower and contributor of our blog, how did you find us, and what appeal or value does it have for you?
I can’t remember how I discovered your blog. I think based on how I normally find blogs, is that you may have posted something on one of my posts and so, of course, I clicked on your blog to read some of your material and know who it was who had an interest of what I was writing about. I am not a techie person (as you know) and so I have no idea how to search for certain topics.
To be honest, I never would have thought about searching for anything under “small penis” anyway. It was a topic I am more than familiar with and I thought would hold no real value to me. My spouse has one (a small penis), he kept it from me and I resent him for many years over it. I had to learn through trial and error over 17 years, what I could have read about in a few hours, if I had read your blog at the beginning of my marital journey.
Your blog gave me insight to something I had spent a lifetime, trying to figure out. It literally felt like I was seeing all the dots connect, so I could see the big picture, finally. Of course, the knowledge came too late for me in regards to my marriage plus it’s not exactly relevant as my spouse is 100% non-compliant and combative when it comes to discussing anything sexual. Even though it’s not benefited our relationship as I had hoped, it has changed things, and is changing things. I am just unsure of where they are going.
But that’s WHY I loved your blog so much. It was like I had access to other men, with the same issue my spouse had and in the various responses and conversations I read, I was learning what MAY have been going through his mind, if he ever thought to open his mouth and SAY something (anything), other than this brutal silence I’ve had to live with. I am a communicator, I need expression, and so his refusal has almost killed me. It’s damaged me in ways I can’t even find words to express.
The appeal your blog has for me is that it brings me understanding. It gives me the opportunity to express how I actually feel and then get honest response back…good and bad…which helps me grow as a woman. It’s let me appreciate men in a vastly different way than I had before and that’s been unexpected. It truly is a resource for me and I am sure many others who have marital issues, but don’t understand that they may come from a man’s image of himself and his small penis.
For years I ignored the fact my spouse had a small penis. Why would I focus on something that didn’t matter to me? I loved him, he sexually excited and pleased me and I married him because I never wanted to lose it. What mattered was he didn’t use his penis; or rather he stopped using it with me after I had kids. Once I learned that the way he acted may have had something to do with how he perceived himself, because of his penis size, it was an Aha moment for me. It won’t change my relationship with my spouse because he is adamantly opposed to moving forward, but it’s made me aware that I have to move on without him. How that will happen, I am unsure of.
- What has surprised you the most about the small-endowed men who participate and contribute frequently on our blog?
The biggest surprise for me in reading this blog is how angry some men are at their penis size. How they blame the women in their past, the women in their future and project self-pity and shame about something they have NO control over. They seem content to remain uneducated about intimacy and orgasm and just want to focus on the ONE thing that is not possible for them, which is deep penetration and stretching a woman’s pussy by the sheer girth of a big cock.
Until reading this blog, I truly believed a man’s penis size was not something they focused on, other than in the normal aspect of penis pride that I ‘thought’ all men shared. I thought their opinions were similar to a woman’s when thinking about their own breast size. Meaning, big or small, wasn’t an issue past puberty. I had no idea a man’s small penis could impact a man’s entire sexual development or preferences. I certainly did not know that a man with a small penis would want to be teased or humiliated. That amazed me and astounded me. I came to understand the teasing and could see how it works. I learned very quickly that the opportunity was certainly there if you wanted to take advantage of it as a woman. For normal, competitive men, teasing is like being wafted with pheromones.
- You have indicated that you are pretty open sexually, and as such, what sexual fetish, kink or fantasy turns you on the most and why, and would you ever try it?
Sexuality. It’s an awesome thing. I was virtually celibate for 22 years. Rediscovering myself has been a blessing and a curse. Because so much of my life, the entire focus of my sexual desire, a man’s cock, was kept from me, all of my fantasies tend to surround anything to do with a hard cock or hard cocks and a man’s ejaculate. Having 1-2 lovers at the same time or having 4 men to service my sexual needs. Sigh…I can’t even start to type about it without going off on a tangent. I love a man’s body. I love how sex feels. I love when a man cums…love watching it seeing it, feeling it, touching it, tasting it. I know without a doubt I could easily live with 2-3 men and take care of all their sexual needs.
My ultimate fantasy would be to live openly in a cuckold relationship or even in a polyamorous one so I could have 2 full time partners, every single day.
- If you were in a relationship with an attractive, small-endowed man who completely accepted himself, and was open to try anything, what would that relationship look like, and how would you expect him to compensate for his small penis size?
He would use toys on me 100% of the time before he entered me when we were at home. He would be willing to give me quickies when we were out in a public like situation, so I could feel the sweet slippery seed on my thighs when out. It simply makes me feel sexier to have cum on my thighs. He would 100% have to allow me to have lovers. My body requires penetration from a big male cock to be truly satisfied. Toys are only fine when a man is using them on me. When I need big cock sex, I need it. It’s that simple.
- OK, I have to ask this question. When it comes to penis size, how important is it to you personally, and what is the ideal size for you?
Penis size: the best lover I have ever had, BY FAR, is perhaps 6 inches and of average thickness that is proportionate to length. He has smaller, tighter testicles. It’s not his size, it’s what he does. OMG…it’s what he does! The weight of his hands make up for any lack of weight between his legs. The demanding kisses take my breath away. By the time he enters me, he has made me so aroused that I am as close to death as you can get while still having a beating heart and even then it is skipping beats.
Jesus…his cock is an extension of his soul and when he enters me I could die from how much it fills me to every single place I never knew needed filling. And I think THAT is what a man’s penis size really is. Every woman is searching for the thing that fills her soul, the person who fills it and its why some cocks work and others don’t. Some cocks fit better because there is so much of the man in them that the size is irrelevant as they are the right size for the souls of the other person.
I’ve had much smaller and much bigger and nothing works as perfectly as this man’s cock. My preference for a cock NOT attached to this man, is about a thick 8 inches simply because I love the variety of sexual positions available and his girth will guarantee my immediate orgasm. Yes, I’ll be sore after. But that’s the point.
- If a young, married woman came up to you in confidence and said that her husband had a very peculiar request – he wanted to be teased because he had a small penis, what advice would you give her?
This scares me. Many men ‘think’ they can handle it and can’t. Many men love the fantasy and push for the reality, they get the reality then they FREAK OUT. Here is what every woman needs to know. If you give him this request, if you give him the teasing or have it lead to an actual cuckold relationship, you HAVE TO be prepared to lose the relationship in the event it was too much for him to handle in real life. If you aren’t prepared to lose the man and the marriage in the event he DOES flip out, then don’t do it.
You cannot trust his word that he knows how he will react. He doesn’t know if he’s never had to face those feelings before. You have to have the patience of a SAINT in order for him to deal with his feelings and quite frankly, it is not going to be fun for you. He is going to struggle with accepting his own sexuality and you will be blamed and you will be resented and you will be held responsible for everything that he doesn’t like about how he feels.
Can your relationship survive you carrying it while he tries to figure things out? I would have to say that if you are verbally going to go down this path, then do it for years before you make any small attempts to transition it into the real world. Read books, watch porn together, change the lifestyle towards what you want to end up with and then start incorporating things gradually. This is the only way you can trust that he is actually ready for what he says he wants.
- If you could offer any advice to a guy who has a small penis and you knew he was struggling with it, what advice would you give?
I am afraid I don’t have the patience right now to be kind about it. I simply don’t understand people who struggle with something you can’t change. You have a functioning penis that brings you pleasure. FUCKING USE IT.
Find someone who is aroused by it. Learn about fetish and kink. Appreciate toys and the hands you have to use them on people. Listen to how she responds and the things she says she likes and be grateful you have your hearing. Look at how wet she gets and how she spends time getting ready to be with you and appreciate your vision. I am NEVER going to be tall and leggy. I will never attract the type of man who likes tall and leggy women. Guess what? I. don’t. care.
You will never be a heavy cock swinging, well hung bull who can pound a pussy senseless. FIND AN ALTERNATE ROUTE! Do you stand there at an intersection and carry on when the preferred road is blocked or do you discover a different road to take to get you to the same destination? Just stop sitting there whining about the road closure and start to fucking drive!
A small penis is only an impediment to a man who lets it define him to HIMSELF. Women, a mature woman, knows what she likes and wants and will normally say if what you have is an issue for her. Be grateful she doesn’t waste your time or go about making her cum so hard she forgets what she said.
- What is your opinion of more non-traditional relationships such as polyamory, cuckolding, swinging and Female-led relationships?
I have gone through a massive shift about my ideas on this in the last few years. Dramatic shifts. Life changing shifts.
Polyamory: while I know I could easily handle multiple relationships with multiple men, I do not think I could handle being in a relationship with a man who was with multiple women and still be in a committed relationship with him. This would play into ALL of my personal fears and insecurities. It would damage me because of my 27 yr. marriage taught me that no matter what I did or what I tried, I was not good enough. (I realize it’s not accurate but the brain works in funny ways).
Cuckolding: 100% in favour of it simply because of my past. I am highly sexual and I am highly frustrated when I don’t have sex. Sex for me is a mood stabilizer. It makes me a better person. I have no need to humiliate someone but I do have a need to speak honestly. This means that what I say in relation to cock size and feeling is going to be very open and will result in teasing for the smaller of the two men. I have to admit to being excited about having a deep emotional connection with one man while having my sexual needs met by the men who interest me sexually. Never thought that would be possible in a million years.
Swinging: It works for some people. They are far more open and honest in their marriages and relationships than I have ever been. Had my spouse been open, I may have considered it. But at this point, with this man I would be angry that he is giving to others what he withheld from me, for so many years. I would carry this insecurity with me into future relationships as it is a hardwired response now.
Female led Relationships: this one is big for me right now. In my marriage, I have to say, I was the one doing everything, managing everything, was responsible for everything. I initiated sex 100% of the time and was rejected 99.99% of the time. I became a very dominant woman because I had no choice. My nature is to be submissive to a man and his needs as it simply makes me happier to please him. As a result I have a hard time ‘taking’ or being sexually selfish. This is why I am currently trying to break myself out of that. It’s why I have recently started exploring a few things with a Submissive (capital S) man. I have to say, that his submissiveness actually pisses me off, which makes me edgier than I normally am. His passivity reminds me of my spouse in many ways (though my spouse was passive aggressive while this man is simply passive). So his actions trigger my response which makes me into a very demanding woman.
It’s easier to be bitchy to someone when you are annoyed with them for their very nature. Because I am not pretending or role playing, it is something this submissive man finds very arousing. To be honest, part of it arouses me as well. (When I am not being floored that someone is so passive and driven to please).
My sexual personality type is hard to explain. I am exceptionally assertive and demanding. I am very confident and bold…and if I have a man who is my equal and challenges me I stand up to it and become even more domineering. If I am allowed to do it, I will. But if I have a man who quietly and gently shuts me down with amusement that I even tried to be dominant with him…sweet Jesus…my physical reaction to it leaves no doubt as to who is wearing the pants.
I know my standard and if a man falls short of it, then I control the situation and always will. It IS my natural state of being and is not even thought about. The only way I could successfully manage a female led relationship full time, is if I also had a 2nd lover who would fuck me until I could no longer think. Because THAT is what I need in order to think clearly at all and bring balance back into my life.
It’s why the submissive man wanted me. I understand that some very strong men need their submissive side to come out during sexual encounters, in order to allow them to have the balance of being such a dominant personality in their real life. I know it, because it’s exactly how I am when I am with the right sexual partner who meets my demanding nature, with one of his own.
Thanks again Rougedmount for agreeing to do this Interview with us!