Would You Rather Have a Big Cock or a Small Penis (With Teasing)?

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I received an email from one of our readers asking me an interesting question.  He said, would you rather have (1) Steve with a Big Cock, or (2) Steve with a Small Penis – with teasing?  That was actually a great question, and I decided I wanted to share my response with our readers.

If you look at the question carefully it’s not just would I simply prefer Steve with a big one or small one.  If that were the question, I would choose Steve with a big one, but that isn’t the question. When you throw in the important (with teasing) part of the question, it changes everything for me. In this case, I would choose Steve with the small one – with teasing, and I really wouldn’t even have to spend a lot of time deliberating about it, but let me explain why.

If all things were equal, yes, I would prefer a “Big Steve” over a “Small Steve,” but the truth is I would be able to receive a lot of sexual pleasure from either.  But, if Steve had a big cock, I suspect he might not be nearly as focused on me as he is with his small one, and for obvious reasons.  Because he’s small, he knows he needs to compensate, and loves competing with the big ones, and he is so locked in on me and my sexual needs, it’s actually VERY exciting and erotic for me.  For women, it’s more than just a penis size, it really is a combination of things, and because Steve has a small penis, I think that has driven him to really, really want to excel in pleasing me, and as a woman, that’s a major turn on.  Don’t ever discount the mental stimulation for women when it comes to sex.

If Steve had a big cock, there would be no “Love Small Penis” Blog.  The value of this blog to both of us cannot be understated.  There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t talk about sex.  I also love the comments and emails I get from you “little guys,” and I told Steve recently that they turn me on probably as much as SPT turns him on, and I wasn’t exaggerating.  SPT and all of the associated activities is simply a lot of fun, and even arousing for me too!

Plus another reason why I would choose “little Steve” is, if Steve had a big cock, yes, I would love the big cock sex, but I would actually miss the little penis sex.  Since I have a long, thick dildo I get to enjoy both, so I really do have the best of both worlds as it is.  :-)

I’m curious to know how other women would respond to this question.  Would you “trade in” your husband’s small one (with teasing) for a big one?

Coming Up Short “The Perspective of a Black Man with a Small Penis”

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My wife and I recently had the opportunity to read a fascinating book by Marcus D. Nelson.  Marcus is a long time follower of our blog and because of his sexual experiences; he was motivated to write a book called, Coming Up Short, “The Perspective of a Black Man with a Small Penis.

Those of us with small penises know how difficult it can be to deal with this in our sex lives.  Throw in myths and stereotypes and it can really be a challenge.  For example, I’m tall, fairly well built and have always been athletic, and consequently women have always “assumed” that I would have a big penis.  Despite the fact that we know that height and body type has nothing to do with penis size that “myth” continues.  An even greater myth and stereotype is that all black men have big penises.  This of course, isn’t true either, but it’s something rarely talked about.  Fortunately, Marcus decided to be open about it and share his experiences.

After reading his book, we felt this was an important and relevant subject to bring up on the blog, and Marcus agreed to do this interview with us.  We hope you enjoy it.

Interview Questions:

(1)  Can you provide us with a little bit of your background? (I.e., age, body type, and penis size – just a general description is fine. Just share whatever you’re comfortable with)

I’m a Midwest guy—born and raised in Iowa. I’m 25 years-old, caramel colored, and have a semi-muscular, athletic body—about 170 pounds at around 5ft7 or 5ft8. My flaccid penis is just around 3 inches and sits on top of a small, tight nut-sac. Erect, I’m a little over 5 inches with a girth close to 5.25 inches. Because of my girth being a little more than my length, my penis has a stubby look to it and looks even shorter than it really is.

(2)  You’re a regular follower of our blog, how did you find us, and what appeal does it have for you?

I found Love Small Penis by just googling ‘small penis’ or ‘little dick’ this and that. About a year-and-a-half ago, I began looking for porn with smaller penises and websites that center around small penises. I like how Love Small Penis truly does cover any and every thing to do with small penises without watering it down. Love Small Penis is just really honest and doesn’t poke fun or focus on the humorous aspects of having a small penis, which is something society has a tendency to do it seems. The articles are insightful and keep me coming back.

(3)  What inspired you to want to write this book?

Writing this book had been on my mind for years, but I didn’t really know if I could do it or not, nor was I sure if anyone would even be interested in reading the perspective of a black man with a small penis. It seems to be a hard topic to find much about and there is so much to be said about and by the black men that don’t fit into the cultural myth or stereotype. It’s one thing for a white man to have a small penis—almost expected by some. However, when a black man is less than six inches, it is damn-near a crime.

I would have to say what finally pushed me over the edge to write Coming up Short was measuring my penis at 23 or 24 years-old and finding it hadn’t grown one centimeter since I was 10 or 11. Having a roommate with a huge penis (literally close to 10 inches erect and probably 5.5. to 6 soft) was also a big inspiration in a way. It is fascinating how different our perspectives and experiences are, as well as our preferences in sex period.

(4)  How has your view of your penis size changed and evolved over time?

Naturally, I wanted a bigger penis when I was a teenager. As I talk about in Coming up Short, I ordered penis enlargement pills when I was in middle school because I was basically petrified of growing up and having a small penis. Growing up, I listened to what teenage girls and adult women said about men. A small penis always seemed to be a negative mark for a man and it just scared me, especially since black men are “supposed” to having the biggest sizes.

Now, I love being a black man and not having the “big black dick.” I like not fitting into the stereotype and that’s mostly what I wanted to convey with Coming up Short. I used to see my penis size as a disadvantage, and maybe to some it is. Now, I see it as an advantage.

(5)  You wrote an entire chapter on compensating for your small penis. Do you think this is necessary and if so, how do you personally compensate for it?

I feel like compensating is necessary in life period. We all do it for something or another. This notion of “not having to compensate,” I think, is a little silly. However, society has taught us what is okay to compensate for and what isn’t. And I don’t think that is something society needs to decide for you.

I personally compensate for my size by being great at giving oral sex, using sex toys, and maintaining a nice body, among a few other things. Great oral sex definitely helps to level the playing field for lesser-endowed men. Sex toys (strap-ons, dildos, etc.) reach places I can’t that may need to be reached sometimes. The nice body helps with being more attractive. With all of those things, and some others, people can and will overlook a penis that may be less than they would like.

(6)  You describe yourself as bisexual and you wrote candidly about having a number of “same sex” experiences. In your view, who is more “size focused” men or women?

I have found that men seem to be more “size focused” than women. However, I do have to say that my same-sex experiences have only been with other black men. I have not been fortunate enough to have any experiences with white men.

A big penis is often equated with masculinity while a small penis is not. Since most men want a big, or bigger, penis, when they seek other men, it seems to be the natural thing to gravitate toward one with a bigger penis. This is to not say that women are not size focused, but in my experience, with black women I should add, they can be size focused, but not nearly as much as men. Women seem to let the emotional and character traits fill in the gap if need be, while men have been more about the sexual or physical.

(7)  In your book, you described being extremely turned on by “Sloppy Seconds.” What is the appeal for you personally and why do you enjoy them so much?

Sloppy seconds are the best thing since sliced bread! I think it’s unfortunate that they have a sort of negative connotation. I would have to say I have two reasons for finding sloppy seconds appealing: physical and mental. The physical feeling is really indescribable—silky, wet, gushy, warm. To be frank, it makes my penis feel like it is getting a soft, wet massage.

The mental appeal is the kick I get from knowing I have a small penis and I’m enjoying a well-fucked pussy—a pussy that “work” has already been put into by something longer and thicker. I’m enjoying the “rewards,” so to speak. I see men with huge penises in locker rooms or porn and think to myself: Damn, I want to feel a woman after he’s been inside of her!

(8)  If you could offer any advice to a guy who has a small penis and was still struggling with it, what advice would you give?

Like my former roommate said, accept your limitations. This isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but it can be done and when it is done, life is just easier. With shorter strokes, for example, I slip out far less than when I try to do long strokes like men with long penises. Quite frankly, when a man with a small penis tries to overstep his boundaries, it only magnifies that he lacks in the size department. This can kill the mood, especially when the person may even be in to the man and his small penis.

I think when a man with a small penis opens his mind to compensating, either with toys or giving oral, or to other types of sex, such as cuckolding, he will find less of a struggle with his size. Many nights, my girlfriend grabs my butt in missionary, signaling she needs deeper penetration. I could get offended and ruin the mood completely, or be a man about it and get the strap-on or dildo. So, I say accept your limitations, open your mind, and be willing to try other things. For years, I tried to last longer than my usual five minutes (with a condom on). I only disappointed myself when lasting all night long clearly is not something I am meant to do. That time and effort can be spent on things that I am good at.

(9)  What is the best way for your readers to interact with you?

I’m kind of anti-social media. I think a lot of it is for show and is very superficial and doesn’t really bring anyone closer to you. Rather, I like people to simply email me: talktomarcusdnelson@gmail.com. I love holding conversations with anyone that likes to talk about penis size and sexuality. No email will go unanswered!

(10)        For those who are interested in reading your book, where can they find it?

Coming up Short: The Perspective of a Black Man with a Small Penis is available exclusively on Amazon.com as an eBook. If the success of the eBook is what I hope it to be, I’d like to have copies printed and go to sexuality conventions and or conferences, wherever those are, and sell signed copies and interact with people on a personal level. Maybe one day I will be able to do this! Here is the Amazon.com link:


Thank you for the Interview!

What is Your Penis Size?

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We have never done  this on the blog before, and I thought it might be fun.  Most guys who have revealed their penis size with us in one place or another, but we don’t have all of you cataloged in one place.   Sometimes we are reading an article, and my wife will say, “What’s his size again?”  So, I thought it would be fun to have a “little” penis size competition and ask everyone to participate.

Here are today’s questions for both men and women.  Note:  If you’re a female contributor, please tell us about your partner’s penis:

(a)  What is your penis size (length and girth)

(b)  Describe your penis (include circumcised or not, your ball size, thick or thin, etc.)

(c)  What do you love about your small penis?

As always, please be as descriptive as possible.  Thank you!

Thank You!

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As we approach 600,000 hits, a mindboggling number to us, we just wanted to say Thank You to everyone who reads and comments on the Blog.   We have also received some very nice emails from several “lurkers” who have also been following our blog for quite some time.  It’s very gratifying for us to know, that even if you don’t leave comments on the blog that you are still stopping by frequently and reading what we write.  Of course, we always want to encourage you to share your ideas and thoughts with us on the blog, but if you feel uncomfortable in doing so for whatever reason, please feel free to contact either or both of us via email too.  We are always interested in hearing your ideas, observations and of course your suggestions for future articles.  Again, thanks to all of you who inspire us to continue our efforts.


Steve:  play613796@aol.com

1Hotwife:  hotwife2013@aol.com

The Appeal of “Outing”

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One of the most fascinating subjects my wife and I have enjoyed reading about is the interest so many small endowed men have expressed in wanting to be “outed.”  There isn’t just moderate interest in this topic; rather it seems to be something many small endowed men are really intrigued by.  I think most people would be very surprised by this idea, because I believe the prevailing wisdom is, if you have a small penis, wouldn’t the last thing on earth you would want is for others to know about it?  Yet, many small endowed men find this idea to be highly arousing.

When it comes to “outing,” there also seems to be two distinct types of this activity.  The first, and most common is where the female partner reveals the intimate knowledge that her partner is small endowed to others.  The second type is where the guy “outs” himself to others such as frequenting a nude beach or resort, or participating in clothing optional activities, etc.   Of course self-outing requires more discretion, because it would have to be done in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate.

We first touched on the subject of outing, in the article, “Why Do Small Endowed Guys Want to Be Outed?” which was posted on November 16, 2013.  In that article we listed a few of the possible scenarios in which a woman could “out” her small endowed partner, and we received a lot of responses.  Since we posted that first article, we have had many readers contact us or leave additional comments on the blog suggesting that another follow-up article would be one seeking specific suggestions on how to be “outed” in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate.

So, to that end, I have a few questions along those lines that I would like to pose to our readers.  Hopefully your comments will provide some insight into why being outed holds such a fascinating appeal for you personally and also gives some ideas and guidance to others who have expressed an interest in the subject.  So, here we go:

(a)  To get a better sense as to the WHY it turns guys on, the first question is:  What is it specifically about being “outed” that really turns you on?  (Be as specific and descriptive as possible)

(b)  Is there someone in particular that you would want to be outed to? Your wife’s girlfriend(s), a stranger or someone else?

(c)  Which type of outing turns you on the most – (1) Where your female partner outs you, or (2) Where you self-out yourself?

(d)  If you prefer being outed by your female partner, do you want to be publicly or privately outed?  For example, being publicly outed is taken to mean your partner tells someone(s) in front of you that you are small endowed – like the female clerk in an adult bookstore, etc.  Or, privately outed would be she reveals this knowledge to just one person like a close girlfriend privately without you present – but she tells you about it later?

(e)  If you prefer to self-out yourself, how do you do it in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate?

(f)    What is your ultimate small penis “outing” fantasy?   If you could arrange your perfect “outing” scenario, how would it happen and who would you be outed to?

In your response, please try to answer each specific question by letter, so there is a clear distinction between your responses.  Thank You!

Why I Love My Big Cock Dildo

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I never thought this would happen but I can no longer deny the obvious.  I have to confess, I have become a true Size Queen. I LOVE my Big Cock Dildo.  The difference between Big Cock sex and little penis sex is like night and day.  When “my” Big Cock enters me, I feel “taken” in a way that a little penis cannot take me.  I feel every ridge and vein of the big, hard cock against the sides of my pussy, and I feel it all the way to the depths of my cervix.  My pussy feels completely “full,” and I immerse myself in the feeling of being truly filled and well fucked.  I have so many orgasms I lose count.  They are far more intense, more numerous, longer lasting, and more powerful than anything I have experienced before.  I have no idea if it is reaching that elusive “A-Spot” or not, but I believe it is because I have never experienced anything like this, and I LOVE it.   My dildo is so much longer, so much thicker and I feel completely consumed by a big cock.

Sometimes after I have been fully satiated by my big cock, I will let “little” Steve enter me.  He feels SO much smaller, in fact, there are times when I honestly don’t feel him at all and I will whisper this to him. He immediately gets SUPER turned on and almost cums instantly.  This is validation to me that my pussy not only needs, but craves a bigger cock.  And it’s not that sex with my little hubby is bad, but it’s just so much different.  When he enters me, he feels VERY small, and slender, and doesn’t open me up and fill me like a big cock does.  It still feels very pleasurable, but in a soothing sort of way.  While he can still provide me with a vaginal orgasm, it’s not nearly as intense or as powerful as a big cock, and we both know this.

It’s interesting because when we are about to have sex, my hubby will often ask me if I want a cock (my dildo) or a penis (him). I used to feel guilty when I chose the dildo, but I no longer feel that way because I crave those wonderful orgasms only it can provide for me.  Somehow, my little hubby instinctively knows and understands all of this.  It’s as if he knew I would feel this way about a big cock even before I did, but it turns him on like nothing else ever has.  He is quite content with “sloppy seconds,” in fact; I think he even prefers them.  His little penis has not been replaced; it has just lost its turn in my pecking order!  :-)  The only thing missing for me is a man attached to that big, wonderful cock! :-)

Is it a bad thing to acknowledge that I have become a Size Queen?


Questions for Women (Part 4): Outing Your Husband

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This is a fascinating topic, and surprisingly many small endowed men want to be “Outed” by their wives/partners, but what do the women think.  These questions are for you:

(a)  What are your general views on Outing your husband/partner?  Have you done it, or would you do it?  Or, would you like to do it but aren’t sure how or to whom?

(b)  Does the idea of “outing” your husband embarass you or does it turn you on knowing your partner/husband want it, or does it have no effect on you at all?

(c)  Along those lines, if you’re best girlfriend revealed that her husband/partner was well-endowed by comparison; would you feel embarrassed admitting your partner had a substantially smaller penis?

Feel free to add any other views you have on the subject!  Thanks!

How To Satisfy A Woman With A Small Penis

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We cover a wide range of sexual topics surrounding the small penis on this blog, and some of the topics we discuss may even be considered “taboo.”  But, the name of this blog is “Love Small Penis,” so while we do discuss a lot of fascinating subjects involving the small penis, the bottom line message we try to convey to all lesser endowed men, is the importance of learning to accept, love and celebrate your small penis.  If you have the right attitude, the confidence and put forth the effort, you will be able to satisfy most women, regardless of your endowment.  While this article is geared toward small endowed men, I would argue that the suggestions provided below can apply to any man regardless of whether he has a 4, 6 or an 8 inch cock.

Before I continue, let me say that I really enjoy this blog, and I’m really proud of my husband for having the desire and interest to “create” and maintain it.  We have had many wonderful and exciting discussions about the articles and comments from followers.  Those of you, who have gotten to “know” him, understand why I love him like I do.  His ability to express his ideas and thoughts about this complex and fascinating subject is amazing.  I enjoy contributing to the effort, and this article is one that needs to be written, and I believe is best written by a woman.

This blog has been a real eye-opener for me.  I have learned that many of the same fears and apprehensions Steve had expressed to me over the years, as well as many of the things that now turn him on, are shared by many small endowed men as well.  I have also been equally fascinated by the women contributors, many of whom are also married to men who are small endowed.  The love and affection you have for your husbands/boyfriends is evident in what you write and how you describe your relationship.  Your ideas and suggestions provide encouragement and also serve as an inspiration to all men regardless of their endowment.  I also want to reach out to those of you who are “lurkers” (men and women) and invite you to join us.  This is a non-judgmental blog that may help you better understand this very sensitive and hard to discuss issue.

In an article I wrote back on July 8th, Why I Love My Husband’s Small Penis” (Steve’s Wife), I described my own personal views about penis size and sex with my husband.  While that article focused on why I love my husband’s small penis, I realized that I wanted to provide some ideas and thoughts that may help any small endowed man realize his “full” potential and show him how he can compete for women just like any other man, regardless of the size of his penis.  This isn’t an all-inclusive list, and I’m sure other female contributors will chime in, and I hope they do, but this is at least a start! J

Give Maximum Effort:  One of the comments I have seen several women make on here, and that I completely agree with is for a man to give maximum effort in bed. Don’t be a slacker.  It shouldn’t be about the “quick” slam-bam-thank-you-mam orgasm so you can get back to the football game, rather it should be about, as Steve has said, “Bringing You’re “A” Game” every time.  There is a time and place for “quickies” to be sure, but remember the importance of giving maximum effort when having sex with your partner.  We want to be pursued, desired and conquered regardless of how many “inches” you have.  Nothing turns us on more than effort, and that alone speaks volumes to a woman and is a major turn on.

Communicate With Your Partner:  Don’t make the mistake and assume your partner knows what you want.  For example, early on, I couldn’t get Steve to respond to what he liked when it came to a simple blow job.  I’m not a mind reader, so I wanted him to tell me, what felt good, what he wanted, how he wanted it done, etc. Similarly, to you guys, don’t assume you know what your partner wants when it comes to her “oral needs.”  Ask her, if she wants you to move up or down, or to a different area, or more pressure or less, etc.  A common mistake we all make:  What may have worked great with a former partner, may not work at all with your current one.  And don’t forget to open up and tell us about your fantasies and needs.  Remember in my previous article on the subject where I mentioned what a mental mind fuck it is for us when you share those intimate details.  Communicate!

Recognizing and Conquering Fears:  This is a very important one.  Steve explained to me after the fact that the first time he undressed before me he was almost paralyzed with fear because of his small penis. What he didn’t realize or could even comprehend is that I was just as terrified as he was.  Would he like my body?  Would he like what he saw?  Would he be turned on, or be completely turned off? Did I have too much of this, or too little of that?   These fears cut both ways, and most of us (men and women) have them.  The first step in conquering fear is being able to recognize it.

Lifelong Sexual Education:  Don’t make the mistake of assuming you have all the requisite skills in your sexual tool box, and therefore you don’t need to learn or try new things.   The beauty and excitement of sex is expanding your horizons.  Plus, what turned you on when you were 20 may not be as much of a turn on when you reach 40 or 50.  Our needs, desires and fantasies continue to grow, change and expand and we should be sexually flexible and open to new possibilities.  The variety and mixing things up adds to sexual pleasure and is just plain fun.  It can help keep things alive and exciting.

Foreplay: There is a myth when it comes to providing a woman with great oral sex.  The myth goes like this:  Well-endowed men don’t like it, and aren’t very good at it, while all small endowed men are masters at it.  Many small endowed men see this as the great “equalizer” and it can be, but don’t just assume you are a master at it.  Talk to your wife/girlfriend and learn exactly what she likes, where she wants it, how much, etc.  You certainly can be a master at it, but again, it takes effort.  A man who is an expert with his tongue and fingers can work magic on any woman.

Understanding Sexual Differences:  Steve has written about this at length, and the Kama Sutra, written centuries before, does an excellent job describing it, but it’s very important to recognize your sexual differences.  For example, the Kama Sutra talks about the ideal “coupling” in penis/vaginal sizes as: small & small, average & average, and big & big.  What do you do if your hubby/boyfriend has a small penis and you have an average or larger sized vagina?  Have you ever thought about that?  Have you tried a variety of sexual positions to identify those that work best for you?  Even if you have the “ideal coupling” there may still be some challenges.   For example, Steve & I are both small down there, but some traditional sex positions don’t work because Steve’s penis isn’t quite long enough and he slips out.  Again, the good news is there are lots of very good sexual positions that can maximize your sexual pleasure and can help bridge any gap in size differences.  Plus, there are always “toys” which can also add to your pleasure.  And, what would you do if your hubby had a big penis and you were small down there?  There are just as many positions you can try to minimize any difficulties from that end as well.  Unfortunately, a lot of couples don’t understand the importance of sexual differences and what you can do if there is a slight mismatch in your sizes.  Experimenting can be a lot of fun.

Spontaneous Desire:  I’m going to go out on a limb and try to speak for the majority of women here.  We love the desire and lust our husbands/boyfriends show us.  It affirms our desirability and we simply love the attention.  I love it when my husband fondles me or otherwise shows physical signs of desire, even if it doesn’t lead to instant sex. Maybe I’m on my way to work, but still the touching, feeling, and yes even “groping” is a demonstration of that desire.  Knowing he can’t keep his hands off of me really turns me on.  Similarly, a simple passionate kiss unexpectedly is another visible sign.  Not the good-bye kisses in the morning or the “Hello how was your day” kiss in the evening, but the unannounced, for no particular reason, deep, passionate kiss just because he wants to.  That is hotter than hot!

Spontaneous Sex:  Similarly, spontaneous sex is the ultimate turn on for me.  It’s taking that demonstrated desire to a whole new level.  Being taken on the dinner table, the couch, the stairs, etc., is another example of that heated desire.  Sex shouldn’t be “scripted” and only occur on “date night” or when the moon is full.  Let me be very graphic here.  There are times, when women don’t want to be made love to, we want to be fucked, and I mean fucked hard and with intensity and passion.   For you small guys, when my husband does fuck me like this the last thing on earth I’m thinking about is he “only” has 4 inches.  I am so turned on, and wound up, when we are in the throes of passion, how many inches he has is the last thing on my mind.  This kind of demonstrated desire is not out of the reach of any man regardless of his penis size.

Do You Know Your Wife’s Erogenous Zones?  One of the most erotic and exiting things for a woman is having a man that both knows and understands his woman’s erogenous zones. My personal major erogenous zone is my nipples.  They can barely be touched, tweaked or sucked without sending a major shiver straight to my pussy. It’s automatic, and it’s every time. I love it when they are tweaked beforehand, and even during oral sex. It’s an unbelievable feeling and one that I simply can’t get enough of.  Fortunately for me, my husband knows this and is an expert at providing them the attention they deserve.  But, for another woman, it may not be her nipples at all. It may be her neck or some other body part that needs “extra” attention.  A skilled lover will seek out this knowledge from his partner and learn to master it.

Go on Dates:  When was the last time you took your wife out on a date, and referred to it as such?  Take her out for an evening and tell her ahead of time you want to go on a “date.”  Have a nice dinner, sip some wine and give her your undivided attention.  (Hint: And don’t be checking the sports scores on your iPhone during dinner.)  If you haven’t done this in a while, watch her reaction. There is nothing that will start a woman’s engine running than having a “hot date” with the man she loves.   I guarantee she will love it, and you just might get lucky when you get home!

These are just a few things that any man, regardless of his penis size can do that will really turn a woman on. What are you waiting for?   Surprise her, try some of these ideas and see how she responds.  My guess is she will love it, and love you even more for the effort! J


For Women: What “Enlightened,” Small Endowed Men Desire


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I think most small endowed men would agree that once a man comes to accept his small penis and its impact on his significant other, changes begin to happen.  This is especially true when “she” accepts and enjoys playing up the reality that he doesn’t measure up.  This can have a profound impact on a relationship, and some changes in the small endowed man’s behavior are quickly noticeable, and may include:  increased patience, easier going, less jealous, liberated and open minded sexually, more giving to his significant other in and out of the bedroom.

We also know that he tends to be fixated on his small penis like never before… wanting to discuss, be teased, compared, denied, and maybe even outed to others by himself or his wife (in a safe way of course).   In some relationships things can even reach new levels to include sex denial, fantasy cuckolding, dominant and passive roles, etc.  The man is not only fixated on his little penis, but on his wife as well.  She becomes his sexual focus – his sexual universe, whether he is allowed to enter her or not, whether she is around him or not… what she says and does to her husband in regards to his small penis will be replayed over and over again in his head.  He loves it!  He loves her!  And most importantly, he loves that his wife can be open about his inadequacy and still loves him.

But what is happening behind the scenes?  What is happening in his head?  Likely he is thinking, day dreaming, contemplating, and fantasizing ALL DAY LONG about these topics.  He is continually replaying things that have occurred with his wife countless times.  He likely thinks about his wife with her dildos, or maybe he fantasies about her being with well-endowed men, and about being outed for being so small – constantly.  Even things he is not sure he wants or is sure that she will do, he is contemplating.

The thing that wives should know is that if your husband has a small penis and you assume a dominant role sexually and tease him about his little penis – then he is willing to do just about anything you ask.  He is likely hoping YOU will take more control over his little penis, that you will tease him relentlessly about his under endowment, and that you will employ creative ideas to make him feel like his little penis is secondly to your sexual pleasure.  He wants you to be in control and he wants to obey your wishes.  He wants you to challenge him to go beyond where he is at and where he is comfortable.

(1Hotwife’s View):  If you’re a woman reading this, you may be getting a good understanding of what is going on in the small endowed man’s mind.  I have to confess it took me a lot of time and many discussions with my husband to really appreciate the possibilities.  And, I will also admit that many of the things we are beginning to explore were never on my radar screen at first, nor even appealing to me.  But, over time, I have been able to digest all of this and have found there really are many interesting, erotic, and intriguing things to explore.

My husband loves to compete and hates to lose. Everything is a competition for him.  Whether it was competitive sports, when he was younger or simply playing cards or dominoes or virtually anything –he hates to lose.  Many things in life are controllable – if you’re overweight, you can exercise and eat better to improve your body.  If you want a better job, you can pursue and attain more education, etc.  But the ultimate symbol of a man’s sexuality, his penis size is an uncontrollable.  Some small endowed men become angry, jealous and show other negative emotions, but for many “enlightened” small endowed men (like Steve), they see opportunity for excitement and competition.  When I acknowledge that he doesn’t quite measure up, his desire to compensate for his short-comings goes into overdrive.  Simply put, it revs him up like nothing else.  If your husband desires SPT and all the rest, this does not just “level the playing field,” it’s advantage wife.  He WANTS to compete for you, and compensate for his shortcomings.  It puts a woman in a very enviable and powerful position in the relationship.

One of the major benefits of this kind of relationship is it can take a rather uninspiring, unexciting, “vanilla” sexual relationship and turn it into a dynamic, erotic and very fulfilling relationship.  The real beauty is that you can create or customize a small penis sexual relationship that works for the two of you.  The spectrum of possible things you have run the gambit.   You may be into small penis teasing, or perhaps light, small penis humiliation, withholding sex, orgasm denial, “outing,” fantasy cuckolding, role-playing, etc.  You may not want to do them all, so you can pick and choose ala carte from those things that interest you and your partner, and then use them to the extent you want too.

Lastly, the interesting thing is, whether you know it or not, YOU are in total control.  Your husband is fixated on you and will try to please you and meet your requests!


Most of all have fun with this – the couple will become closer because the male is making himself completely vulnerable and submitting to his wife.  She will enjoy the extra attention and calming effects it has on her husband.  If you’re reading this and enjoy being in control of your husband’s penis or enjoy teasing him about his under endowment, then don’t be afraid to push the envelope and try new things.  He wants you to!  Tell him what your desires are, and what turns you on.  Make sure you enjoy the process as a couple and are discussing it often.  Your relationship will get better, and you will feel more loved than when you were just having obligatory, maintenance sex.  The most important benefit is you will be happier and more connected and communicative as a couple.

Merry Christmas 2013

Merry Christmas - Copy

We just wanted to take this time to thank all of you for the “gifts” you have given us this year through your friendship, support, ideas and suggestions on how to help all of us have better relationships.

We hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your family and friends.  If you are traveling, be safe!

Merry Christmas to all of you!

Steve & 1Hotwife


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