The Appeal of “Tease & Denial”


The Appeal of “Tease & Denial”Over the last few years, I have really enjoyed reading comments and corresponding with you “little” guys out there. I find small endowed guys fascinating, interesting and very sexually creative.  As Steve said in his most recent article, “The Appeal of Outing,” we have learned a great deal from many of you (men and women) who have contributed to this blog with your suggestions and ideas.   As a woman married to a guy with a little penis, your comments have validated for me why certain things turn Steve on like they do.  You have also given us a lot of really good ideas of things to try in our own relationship.  For example, “Outing” is not something I ever would have considered on my own, and I don’t think Steve would have thought of it either.   But seeing how much the idea turns him on now, it’s only a matter of time before he is “outed” too! :-)

I can’t speak for all women, but nothing turns me on more than turning on my husband.  If something really, really turns him on, I want to provide it for him. Why should his desires be relegated to fantasy if I can make them a reality for him?   My ultimate desire is to keep him really turned on and locked in on me, so if I can keep him perpetually aroused, it’s a win-win for both of us. If it turns him on to think of me as his “Size Queen,” or his “Hotwife,” then let him think of me that way. If it turns him on to be “outed” then I can do that too! :-)

Just like Outing, I have also found that I have a great deal of interest in the concept of “Tease and Denial”. Denying my husband an orgasm is not something I would have thought of on my own.  In fact, I thought it was a bit strange, and something I didn’t think I would ever want to do.  What guy would want to be denied an orgasm during sex and what woman would want to deny her husband one?  But the more I have learned about the psychological appeal, the more intrigued I am with it. Plus, I know the idea appeals to my husband personally, and a lot of men who follow this blog as well.

When I first began teasing Steve about the size of his penis (at his request), what I didn’t realize at the time was, it changed the whole sexual dynamic of our relationship.  It transferred all sexual power in the relationship to me. What I have also discovered is that for my husband, tease and denial go hand-in-hand, and has to do with the power and control I have over him.  Teasing him is a demonstration of that power, and when I deny him an occasional orgasm, it’s a demonstration of the control I have over him and his penis, and he loves it. Plus, controlling his orgasms keeps him in perpetual “heat” for me, so that’s not a bad thing! :-)

What do the rest of you think about Tease and Denial?

The Appeal of “Outing”

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One of the most fascinating subjects my wife and I have enjoyed reading about is the interest so many small endowed men have expressed in wanting to be “outed.”  There isn’t just moderate interest in this topic; rather it seems to be something many small endowed men are really intrigued by.  I think most people would be very surprised by this idea, because I believe the prevailing wisdom is, if you have a small penis, wouldn’t the last thing on earth you would want is for others to know about it?  Yet, many small endowed men find this idea to be highly arousing.

When it comes to “outing,” there also seems to be two distinct types of this activity.  The first, and most common is where the female partner reveals the intimate knowledge that her partner is small endowed to others.  The second type is where the guy “outs” himself to others such as frequenting a nude beach or resort, or participating in clothing optional activities, etc.   Of course self-outing requires more discretion, because it would have to be done in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate.

We first touched on the subject of outing, in the article, “Why Do Small Endowed Guys Want to Be Outed?” which was posted on November 16, 2013.  In that article we listed a few of the possible scenarios in which a woman could “out” her small endowed partner, and we received a lot of responses.  Since we posted that first article, we have had many readers contact us or leave additional comments on the blog suggesting that another follow-up article would be one seeking specific suggestions on how to be “outed” in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate.

So, to that end, I have a few questions along those lines that I would like to pose to our readers.  Hopefully your comments will provide some insight into why being outed holds such a fascinating appeal for you personally and also gives some ideas and guidance to others who have expressed an interest in the subject.  So, here we go:

(a)  To get a better sense as to the WHY it turns guys on, the first question is:  What is it specifically about being “outed” that really turns you on?  (Be as specific and descriptive as possible)

(b)  Is there someone in particular that you would want to be outed to? Your wife’s girlfriend(s), a stranger or someone else?

(c)  Which type of outing turns you on the most – (1) Where your female partner outs you, or (2) Where you self-out yourself?

(d)  If you prefer being outed by your female partner, do you want to be publicly or privately outed?  For example, being publicly outed is taken to mean your partner tells someone(s) in front of you that you are small endowed – like the female clerk in an adult bookstore, etc.  Or, privately outed would be she reveals this knowledge to just one person like a close girlfriend privately without you present – but she tells you about it later?

(e)  If you prefer to self-out yourself, how do you do it in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate?

(f)    What is your ultimate small penis “outing” fantasy?   If you could arrange your perfect “outing” scenario, how would it happen and who would you be outed to?

In your response, please try to answer each specific question by letter, so there is a clear distinction between your responses.  Thank You!

Why I Love My Big Cock Dildo

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I never thought this would happen but I can no longer deny the obvious.  I have to confess, I have become a true Size Queen. I LOVE my Big Cock Dildo.  The difference between Big Cock sex and little penis sex is like night and day.  When “my” Big Cock enters me, I feel “taken” in a way that a little penis cannot take me.  I feel every ridge and vein of the big, hard cock against the sides of my pussy, and I feel it all the way to the depths of my cervix.  My pussy feels completely “full,” and I immerse myself in the feeling of being truly filled and well fucked.  I have so many orgasms I lose count.  They are far more intense, more numerous, longer lasting, and more powerful than anything I have experienced before.  I have no idea if it is reaching that elusive “A-Spot” or not, but I believe it is because I have never experienced anything like this, and I LOVE it.   My dildo is so much longer, so much thicker and I feel completely consumed by a big cock.

Sometimes after I have been fully satiated by my big cock, I will let “little” Steve enter me.  He feels SO much smaller, in fact, there are times when I honestly don’t feel him at all and I will whisper this to him. He immediately gets SUPER turned on and almost cums instantly.  This is validation to me that my pussy not only needs, but craves a bigger cock.  And it’s not that sex with my little hubby is bad, but it’s just so much different.  When he enters me, he feels VERY small, and slender, and doesn’t open me up and fill me like a big cock does.  It still feels very pleasurable, but in a soothing sort of way.  While he can still provide me with a vaginal orgasm, it’s not nearly as intense or as powerful as a big cock, and we both know this.

It’s interesting because when we are about to have sex, my hubby will often ask me if I want a cock (my dildo) or a penis (him). I used to feel guilty when I chose the dildo, but I no longer feel that way because I crave those wonderful orgasms only it can provide for me.  Somehow, my little hubby instinctively knows and understands all of this.  It’s as if he knew I would feel this way about a big cock even before I did, but it turns him on like nothing else ever has.  He is quite content with “sloppy seconds,” in fact; I think he even prefers them.  His little penis has not been replaced; it has just lost its turn in my pecking order!  :-)  The only thing missing for me is a man attached to that big, wonderful cock! :-)

Is it a bad thing to acknowledge that I have become a Size Queen?


Questions for Women (Part 4): Outing Your Husband

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This is a fascinating topic, and surprisingly many small endowed men want to be “Outed” by their wives/partners, but what do the women think.  These questions are for you:

(a)  What are your general views on Outing your husband/partner?  Have you done it, or would you do it?  Or, would you like to do it but aren’t sure how or to whom?

(b)  Does the idea of “outing” your husband embarass you or does it turn you on knowing your partner/husband want it, or does it have no effect on you at all?

(c)  Along those lines, if you’re best girlfriend revealed that her husband/partner was well-endowed by comparison; would you feel embarrassed admitting your partner had a substantially smaller penis?

Feel free to add any other views you have on the subject!  Thanks!

Questions for Women (Part 2): Have You Become More Cock Centric?

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For most of us (men & women) involved in any or all of the activities described on this blog, one undeniable fact is clear.  Penis size is at the heart of all of it.   Those of us who are small endowed are well aware of the effect penis size has on us.  We think about it, fantasize about it, daydream about it, and in short, it dominates most of our thoughts.  But what effect does all of this have on our female partners?  These questions are an attempt to answer this question.

(a)  Since you and your small endowed partner have become involved in SPT, etc., have you become more cock centric?

(b)  Do you find yourself looking at other men’s bulges?

(c)  Are you envious of other women who are married to more well-endowed men?

(d)  How does sex/the relationship change if the woman can’t feel her husband’s penis or it is too small for sexual satisfaction?

(e)  Do you think that the use of dildos is more prevalent and necessary in a small penis relationship to supplement a man’s lack of size?

(f)    To the woman in a committed relationship – now that you have come to grips with your small endowed partner, have you ever been tempted to look for a well hung lover?  If so, would you really do it if given the opportunity?  Or, are you quite content with your partner’s efforts to please you in other ways?

Feel free to share anything else with us that comes to mind.


Big Cock Shock & Awe

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I’m sure this photo will catch everyone’s attention.  Here is the scenario, you are walking on a beach or at the pool with your wife/partner and you catch a glimpse of a guy with a very noticeable huge bulge, what would you do?  Would you put your arm around her, and steer her in another direction, or would you continue walking straight ahead, and not care if she saw the “view” or not?  At the same time, what thoughts would be racing through your head?

The reason why I ask is there was a time when I probably would have steered my wife away from such a view, and felt a great deal of internal anxiety and been horrified if she would have seen it.  This is just another example of how my views on this have changed over time with my small penis acceptance.  I have a small penis, I know it and my wife knows it, so I’m no longer horrified if I find myself in this kind of situation.  If I saw this view now, it might be “Big Cock Shock & Awe,” but I wouldn’t be surprised by it, nor would she.  I would also now probably nudge my wife and say, “Check that guy out.”  It’s the same way with her if she sees some woman with a hot body, she would say, “Check her out.”  So, I’m wondering, how many of you guys have had a similar transformation once you accepted your penis size?  Or, do you find yourself still feeling very uneasy, perhaps even terrified in this kind of situation?  How do you think your partner would react?

And here are a few questions for our women followers.  It’s the same scenario, only you see this guy first.  What would your reaction be?  Would you want to continue walking towards him enjoying the view?  Or, would it make you uncomfortable?  And, how do you think your significant other would react?  Would he be mortified if he knew you saw this view, or would he be comfortable and ok with it?

Not So Small, Small Penis Teasing

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An interesting phenomenon which is rarely discussed or even understood is the craving for small penis teasing by men who would be considered average or even above average size. The fact that it exists is even evident on this Blog as many men of average or above average endowments have commented or sent emails to us about how much they really enjoy this activity.   The craving for SPT by men who have a small penis is understandable, but why do so many men with good sized cocks desire this activity?

My wife and I were discussing this the other day, and I think she explained it perfectly in a single sentence by saying, “No matter how big your cock is, there is always a guy with a bigger one.”  I think that was a very astute observation and is probably at the heart of why average and above average size men might desire SPT as much as they do.

Looking at this further, here’s a typical SPT scenario.  Let’s say you have a small, slender 4” penis.  If your wife compares you to a man who has let’s say a thick 7” cock, the disparity would be obvious and noticeable to both of you.  The stage is set for SPT as she acknowledges how much smaller you are than your “rival.”  Kicking it up a notch, a woman who is really skilled in providing SPT, might add, “He could touch places in me that we both know you’re simply incapable of don’t we Honey?”  This question requires the man to answer it, in effect, giving him a dose of self-induced SPT, which serves to provide an unimaginable level of both tension and excitement.   The fact that a “proper” wife would be so open about acknowledging his “shortcomings” through SPT is exciting for many of us, and it captures our attention and keeps us highly focused on our wives like nothing else.

Now, our belief is that this same principle applies to a couple where the man may have let’s say a 6 or 7” cock.  The only difference is, he desires his wife to compare him to an even larger cock, perhaps 9-10.”  If she follows the same scenario outlined above, he feels the same emotions and desires just as the smaller endowed man, the only real difference is his cock size and the one he is compared to.

As a small endowed man, I obviously can’t speak for those of you guys who are average and above, so here are some questions for you to ponder:

  • Do you believe my description and my wife’s hypothesis are accurate, or is there something else about this activity which I haven’t described but really turns you on about it?
  • Does a man of average or above average endowment, who wants this activity, have a harder time “selling” the idea to his partner?

For those of you who have average or above average sized cocks, who love SPT, please feel free to chime in, and let us know what it is about it that is so exciting for you.  Thanks!

For Women: What “Enlightened,” Small Endowed Men Desire


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I think most small endowed men would agree that once a man comes to accept his small penis and its impact on his significant other, changes begin to happen.  This is especially true when “she” accepts and enjoys playing up the reality that he doesn’t measure up.  This can have a profound impact on a relationship, and some changes in the small endowed man’s behavior are quickly noticeable, and may include:  increased patience, easier going, less jealous, liberated and open minded sexually, more giving to his significant other in and out of the bedroom.

We also know that he tends to be fixated on his small penis like never before… wanting to discuss, be teased, compared, denied, and maybe even outed to others by himself or his wife (in a safe way of course).   In some relationships things can even reach new levels to include sex denial, fantasy cuckolding, dominant and passive roles, etc.  The man is not only fixated on his little penis, but on his wife as well.  She becomes his sexual focus – his sexual universe, whether he is allowed to enter her or not, whether she is around him or not… what she says and does to her husband in regards to his small penis will be replayed over and over again in his head.  He loves it!  He loves her!  And most importantly, he loves that his wife can be open about his inadequacy and still loves him.

But what is happening behind the scenes?  What is happening in his head?  Likely he is thinking, day dreaming, contemplating, and fantasizing ALL DAY LONG about these topics.  He is continually replaying things that have occurred with his wife countless times.  He likely thinks about his wife with her dildos, or maybe he fantasies about her being with well-endowed men, and about being outed for being so small – constantly.  Even things he is not sure he wants or is sure that she will do, he is contemplating.

The thing that wives should know is that if your husband has a small penis and you assume a dominant role sexually and tease him about his little penis – then he is willing to do just about anything you ask.  He is likely hoping YOU will take more control over his little penis, that you will tease him relentlessly about his under endowment, and that you will employ creative ideas to make him feel like his little penis is secondly to your sexual pleasure.  He wants you to be in control and he wants to obey your wishes.  He wants you to challenge him to go beyond where he is at and where he is comfortable.

(1Hotwife’s View):  If you’re a woman reading this, you may be getting a good understanding of what is going on in the small endowed man’s mind.  I have to confess it took me a lot of time and many discussions with my husband to really appreciate the possibilities.  And, I will also admit that many of the things we are beginning to explore were never on my radar screen at first, nor even appealing to me.  But, over time, I have been able to digest all of this and have found there really are many interesting, erotic, and intriguing things to explore.

My husband loves to compete and hates to lose. Everything is a competition for him.  Whether it was competitive sports, when he was younger or simply playing cards or dominoes or virtually anything –he hates to lose.  Many things in life are controllable – if you’re overweight, you can exercise and eat better to improve your body.  If you want a better job, you can pursue and attain more education, etc.  But the ultimate symbol of a man’s sexuality, his penis size is an uncontrollable.  Some small endowed men become angry, jealous and show other negative emotions, but for many “enlightened” small endowed men (like Steve), they see opportunity for excitement and competition.  When I acknowledge that he doesn’t quite measure up, his desire to compensate for his short-comings goes into overdrive.  Simply put, it revs him up like nothing else.  If your husband desires SPT and all the rest, this does not just “level the playing field,” it’s advantage wife.  He WANTS to compete for you, and compensate for his shortcomings.  It puts a woman in a very enviable and powerful position in the relationship.

One of the major benefits of this kind of relationship is it can take a rather uninspiring, unexciting, “vanilla” sexual relationship and turn it into a dynamic, erotic and very fulfilling relationship.  The real beauty is that you can create or customize a small penis sexual relationship that works for the two of you.  The spectrum of possible things you have run the gambit.   You may be into small penis teasing, or perhaps light, small penis humiliation, withholding sex, orgasm denial, “outing,” fantasy cuckolding, role-playing, etc.  You may not want to do them all, so you can pick and choose ala carte from those things that interest you and your partner, and then use them to the extent you want too.

Lastly, the interesting thing is, whether you know it or not, YOU are in total control.  Your husband is fixated on you and will try to please you and meet your requests!


Most of all have fun with this – the couple will become closer because the male is making himself completely vulnerable and submitting to his wife.  She will enjoy the extra attention and calming effects it has on her husband.  If you’re reading this and enjoy being in control of your husband’s penis or enjoy teasing him about his under endowment, then don’t be afraid to push the envelope and try new things.  He wants you to!  Tell him what your desires are, and what turns you on.  Make sure you enjoy the process as a couple and are discussing it often.  Your relationship will get better, and you will feel more loved than when you were just having obligatory, maintenance sex.  The most important benefit is you will be happier and more connected and communicative as a couple.

Large Phallic Symbols

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I couldn’t resist this!  :)

I was perusing around on the internet and found a very interesting article called, A Phallic Journey:  Italy’s Penis Café.  (Do a google search and you can read the article).    Apparently in this café, everything is penis-centric.  Phallic symbols, usually quite large ones are prominent everywhere – on the handrails, on and in the menu, literally everywhere you look!

So here is the question for you guys with “mini-members.”   You and your wife (or girlfriend), drop in to this café –but you haven’t heard about how penis-centric it is.  So, what would be your reaction, when you walked in and the two of you saw enormous phallic symbols everywhere?    Would you be embarrassed and want to exit quickly, or would you think “This is an SPT lover’s paradise!”   :)


My Husband’s Christmas Present


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Do you think my husband will like “Sloppy Seconds” as a Christmas gift?  :)


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