The Appeal of “Outing”

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One of the most fascinating subjects my wife and I have enjoyed reading about is the interest so many small endowed men have expressed in wanting to be “outed.”  There isn’t just moderate interest in this topic; rather it seems to be something many small endowed men are really intrigued by.  I think most people would be very surprised by this idea, because I believe the prevailing wisdom is, if you have a small penis, wouldn’t the last thing on earth you would want is for others to know about it?  Yet, many small endowed men find this idea to be highly arousing.

When it comes to “outing,” there also seems to be two distinct types of this activity.  The first, and most common is where the female partner reveals the intimate knowledge that her partner is small endowed to others.  The second type is where the guy “outs” himself to others such as frequenting a nude beach or resort, or participating in clothing optional activities, etc.   Of course self-outing requires more discretion, because it would have to be done in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate.

We first touched on the subject of outing, in the article, “Why Do Small Endowed Guys Want to Be Outed?” which was posted on November 16, 2013.  In that article we listed a few of the possible scenarios in which a woman could “out” her small endowed partner, and we received a lot of responses.  Since we posted that first article, we have had many readers contact us or leave additional comments on the blog suggesting that another follow-up article would be one seeking specific suggestions on how to be “outed” in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate.

So, to that end, I have a few questions along those lines that I would like to pose to our readers.  Hopefully your comments will provide some insight into why being outed holds such a fascinating appeal for you personally and also gives some ideas and guidance to others who have expressed an interest in the subject.  So, here we go:

(a)  To get a better sense as to the WHY it turns guys on, the first question is:  What is it specifically about being “outed” that really turns you on?  (Be as specific and descriptive as possible)

(b)  Is there someone in particular that you would want to be outed to? Your wife’s girlfriend(s), a stranger or someone else?

(c)  Which type of outing turns you on the most – (1) Where your female partner outs you, or (2) Where you self-out yourself?

(d)  If you prefer being outed by your female partner, do you want to be publicly or privately outed?  For example, being publicly outed is taken to mean your partner tells someone(s) in front of you that you are small endowed – like the female clerk in an adult bookstore, etc.  Or, privately outed would be she reveals this knowledge to just one person like a close girlfriend privately without you present – but she tells you about it later?

(e)  If you prefer to self-out yourself, how do you do it in a way that is both socially acceptable and appropriate?

(f)    What is your ultimate small penis “outing” fantasy?   If you could arrange your perfect “outing” scenario, how would it happen and who would you be outed to?

In your response, please try to answer each specific question by letter, so there is a clear distinction between your responses.  Thank You!

Questions for Women (Part 4): Outing Your Husband

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This is a fascinating topic, and surprisingly many small endowed men want to be “Outed” by their wives/partners, but what do the women think.  These questions are for you:

(a)  What are your general views on Outing your husband/partner?  Have you done it, or would you do it?  Or, would you like to do it but aren’t sure how or to whom?

(b)  Does the idea of “outing” your husband embarass you or does it turn you on knowing your partner/husband want it, or does it have no effect on you at all?

(c)  Along those lines, if you’re best girlfriend revealed that her husband/partner was well-endowed by comparison; would you feel embarrassed admitting your partner had a substantially smaller penis?

Feel free to add any other views you have on the subject!  Thanks!

Small Penis Convention

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Recently one of our followers asked a question that I would like to ask all of you…

Would you attend a Small Penis Convention?

My answer is…YES! I would love to attend and I would check out EVERY man there while thinking, “How “small” are you?”

I think this would be the perfect “outing”! :-)

Cock Comparisons

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Here’s a newsflash.  Guys love to compare their cocks.   Some of you guys probably already know about this site, but it’s fascinating.  It’s called “The Visualizer” ( ) and on this site you can create your own “virtual” penis and then compare it with literally any size penis/cock.  For example, I went in and compared myself with “Mr. Medium” who has, as the name implies an average sized penis.  How did I compare?  Well, I discovered “Mr. Medium’s” penis is 35% longer and 82% larger by volume.   No surprise, but it’s still interesting.

It’s a fascinating site, because you can do a “Profile Comparison” like the one in the above photo, or you can do a photo comparison next to a ruler.  You can also compare your penis to other guys who are small, average or big.  You can compare yourself with site members, porn stars; you can even “customize” your competitor.  For example, if you ever wondered what your penis would look like next to say an 8” long  X 6” thick cock, you can create your competitor, and then see how you differ in length and volume.

If you want to become a full-fledged member there is a membership fee, but there are other advantages to you.  For example, you can also go to the “Inspector Room” and have your erect cock compared with a couple of dozen other guys in a “line-up.” They also have a validation system which allows your exact measurements to be recorded.   Those guys you see with a green check mark under their names have had their penis sizes validated.

The interesting this is, you might be surprised by how many women members they have on this site.   A woman can go in and input their husband/partner’s penis size and enjoy comparing him with lots of different sized guys.  Apparently some women are curious about cock size, what a surprise!  After showing my wife how this worked, she said you HAVE to put this up on the blog.

So here you go, this might be a little fun for you and your wife/partner to do some evening.  Just be prepared for a little small penis teasing after she sees the results! :)

Why Do Small Endowed Guys Want to Be Outed?

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One of the interesting things that came to light in reading the comments from the article, “Would You Mind If She Told Her Girlfriend(s)? is it struck me just how many small endowed guys think or fantasize about being “outed.”   I have received a number of personal emails on this subject, from some of our readers who are really turned on by this dynamic.   Until I saw some comments about the subject on the blog, I have to confess that I had never given it much thought.   But in hearing how even the idea of itpossibly happening is so arousing for some small endowed guys, I have even begun to think about it more myself, and what I have discovered is, it holds a fascinating appeal for me as well.

So, why does even the mere possibility of it happening excite so many guys?  This is another one of those no “one size fits all” answer.  One of our blog participants put it succinctly when he said, in a way being outed “Ups the Ante” so to speak.  For those of us who enjoy SPT with our partners, this certainly would take it to another level, and therein is the appeal –someone else would know about our little secret.  Another piece of the thrill is, its taboo for a wife to divulge such confidential and embarrassing information, yet, that’s why there is the source of excitement.  Your wifey is doing something that “good” wives just don’t do.

So, how is a guy “outed?”  Well, the possibilities are really endless.  Here are a few of the more common ways:

A close girlfriend (or confidant):  This is probably the most common scenario.  Your wife tells her BFF that you have a small penis and requests that she doesn’t tell anyone else.  The wife then tells her small endowed hubby/partner that her BFF knows, and it’s almost like the erotic gift that keeps on giving because from that point forward every time the hubby/partner sees the BFF it provides him with an ongoing source of both excitement and angst.

Multiple Girlfriends:  One of our blog contributors shared with me a dream he had:  “I dreamed that my wife and I were at a holiday party with a group of friends.  The ladies got talking about penis size, which made me completely uncomfortable in my dream.  My wife posed the question to the group of female friends…  how big do you think my husband is?  She passed around straws and scissors so that these women could cut the straws to the length and then she gathered them all up.  She showed me the straws, and then showed me the one she cut to length…  she asked me if I wanted her to show them her straw.  I felt very anxious and scared – she told them that none of them were correct, but she didn’t show her straw.  One woman in particular said that she cut hers really small as a joke too.  I woke up feel pretty uncomfortable.”  No wonder why he woke up uncomfortable, because now, his whole social circle of female friends knows.  While he might be excited about this happening, and it would provide an ongoing source of masturbation fodder, the ramifications of such a disclosure would no doubt be far reaching.

A Stranger:  One particular fantasy I have involves going with my wife to an adult bookstore shopping for a new dildo.  She says to the female clerk, “I would like to buy a new dildo.”  And the female clerk asks, “What size would you like?”  And my wife responds, “Well at least 7 inches because my husband has a little penis.” I can imagine the excitement, yet angst of such an exchange.  Or, if we were in the same store and my wife asked, “Do you have any small-sized condoms?”  That question would elicit a similar reaction in me.  This is probably a safer scenario in that you are unlikely to ever see this stranger again because they aren’t a friend or someone in your social circle.  Adding to the titillation of this scenario is you were there, so you heard all of it with your own ears and even saw the expression (probably a smile) on the female clerk’s face.

Of course there are many other ways this could happen, and there are even variations on these themes as well.  For example,  I could see a scenario where my wife is talking to a sexually frustrated girlfriend, and my wife says, “I have a great sex life despite the fact that my hubby has a very small penis.”  I can just see the other woman’s eyes bug out, the jaw drop, and hear the questions:  “How small is he?”  “How can he satisfy you with such a small penis?” “Do you have orgasms?”  I think part of the attraction of this scenario for me personally is that it casts the small penis in a positive light.  Since so many women assume a man with a small penis is incapable of satisfying a woman sexually, the fact that my wife would be so willing and eager to share the benefits of a small penis is somewhat titillating and goes against the grain.  I’m not sure if this makes sense, but it does fascinate me.

What are the risks of being Outed?  Many guys who expressed they desire to be outed also made it very clear they would want it done in a “controlled” way.  But, if your wife tells her girlfriend that you have a little penis that information is almost too juicy to keep to herself.  The BFF might go home and tell her husband, her neighbor, or her friend, so there is no guarantee it wouldn’t become community knowledge.  So, while very erotic and appealing, being outed is not without risk.

So here are today’s questions:

For those who haven’t been “outed” but think about it:

(a)  What is it about being “exposed” that really turns you on?  Or, does it not turn you on at all?

(b)  In your ideal scenario, how would this happen?

(c)  Is there someone in particular that you would want to be outed to? Your wife’s BFF or someone else?

For those of you who have been outed:

(a)  How did it happen and what was your reaction to it?

(b)  Has this had a positive or negative effect on your relationship?

For the women who want to contribute to this, how do you feel about outing your partner:

(a)  I would love to Out my partner, or already have!

(b)  Am somewhat neutral about it.  I mean I would do it in the right situation, but I could take it or leave it.

(c)  I would be interested to do it if my husband wasn’t so small, but the fact that he is, would embarrass me to share that information.

(d)  I really am not interested in this at all.



Why Does My Husband Want Me to Have Big Cock Sex?

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When my husband first revealed that he fantasized about wanting to watch me having sex with a well-endowed man, I was quite naturally surprised by his admission.  Prior to his small penis acceptance, Steve was somewhat insecure and jealous, and then, when he accepted his smallness, it’s as if a new “enlightened” Steve emerged from his shell.  It took me awhile to adjust to this sudden and complete change in him.  But, I love the “new” Steve.  :)

I knew some men fantasized about wanting to watch their wives with other men, but one of the things that has become abundantly clear and fascinates me to no end, is just how many small-endowed men crave this same fantasy.  And, they don’t just want to watch their wives having sex with another man; they want the other man to be supremely more endowed and even better in bed.  The fascinating question that must be asked is why do so many small-endowed men harbor this fantasy?  Many men on this blog, including Steve, have expressed this desire, but what we haven’t delved into was the why?  What drives and motivates them to crave this so much?

Because we have a good relationship, we have explored this topic together and had many enlightening conversations about it.  I have to confess, I do love talking about this subject.  We both know it turns Steve on, but we wanted to know why it’s such a turn on for him.  As a result, we have developed a hypothesis as to why the idea is so appealing and exciting for him.  We believe it’s a combination of both a natural and biological reaction.  Let me explain.

Steve already knows he has a small penis and accepts it.  I know he has a small penis, but when I remind him of that fact, it really, really turns him on.  As he has explained previously, it’s as if he knows instinctively that I deserve a man who has a more satisfactory cock size.  Some women on the blog have admitted that their husbands are too small to satisfy them, but their previous lovers, and now their larger dildos provide what their husbands can’t.  For these couples, they have discovered that size does matter.   While our relationship is different in that Steve can satisfy me even with his very small penis, his internal truth is that he believes I could be even better satisfied by a larger male, who could offer me what he can’t.  We both believe his reaction is quite natural.

We have also discussed several articles and books on a wide variety of sexual topics.  Sexual selection and how we evolved as humans to live in groups was extremely interesting.   We have also discussed Dr. David Ley’s book, “Insatiable Wives” which is excellent and describes the biology of women and their sexual needs.  Dr. Ley, also has a blog, “Why Women Stray,” where he also addressed the issue of sperm competition as follows:  “As Christopher Ryan, author Terry Gould, and researchers Baker and Bellis have suggested, there is a biological response playing out here, that affects a male sexual drive.  After watching their wife with another man, the husband is prompted biologically to have longer, more vigorous sex, has a shorter refractory period between erections, ejaculates harder, and his ejaculate contains more sperm.  Nearly every couple I interviewed told me that after an episode of the wife having sex with another man, the couple felt like they were “in heat.”

What they described is exactly what happens to Steve every single time I use a dildo to pleasure myself.  It may not be another man, but his strong reaction to it is almost identical and unbelievable.  Even at the mere site of my dildo, Steve’s penis goes from 0 to 4 throbbing inches in a heartbeat.  So is his response a biological reaction?   We believe it may very well be both natural and biological, and this may explain why he craves it so much…he simply can’t help it.

Of course, others may feel it isn’t natural or biological at all, but whatever it is, this craving lies at the very heart of the small penis teasing, cock comparisons and fantasy cuckolding that so many small endowed men crave as well.  Honestly, I didn’t get it at first.  I mean, why would a man want his partner to compare his underdeveloped penis with that of another male who is substantially more endowed?  Wouldn’t he be ashamed, embarrassed or even humiliated?  Surprisingly, the answer is quite the contrary for small endowed men; he usually becomes incredibly aroused.  What’s even more fascinating is, the greater the size disparity between your husband and the male you are comparing him to, the more aroused he becomes, which I believe, cements the notion (in his mind) that you need and deserve more cock than he has.

Those of you who have been following this blog for any length of time know that I love my husband’s small 4” penis and am quite satisfied by it.  But, have I been fascinated by the descriptions women have provided on this blog as far as the advantages of big cock sex?  Yes, which is why I posed the recent question on the blog, “What am I missing?”  My hubby and I both find it fascinating.   Will I ever try a large one knowing it would turn my husband on if I did?  No, because I would never risk our relationship to try it, and we are both very comfortable with that decision.   It’s intriguing and fascinating, but I would never try it.  But, because I was curious, I encouraged my hubby to order his “Big Boy Cock” extension, to see what that feels like.  Granted, it wasn’t the real thing, but I have to admit I really enjoy it.  And of course, Steve really, really liked it too!   :)

To summarize, we do feel there is something very natural and/or biological that explains Steve’s strong reason for wanting this, but that may not be the case for you, or you may attribute your desire to something entirely different.  So, how do the rest of you feel?  Do you believe the reason why smaller men crave this fantasy is a natural and/or biological response?  Or, do you attribute it to something else entirely.  We’re sure others who peruse this blog will be curious to read your comments.

Sloppy Seconds Anyone?

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When I was a young man growing up I remember the first time I heard the term “Sloppy Seconds,” and the negative connotation associated with it.  It usually referred to a “loose” girl or woman about town who would gladly entertain any and all men and allow them to have their way with them.  Most guys would gladly go first, but would rarely get excited about sloppy seconds or thirds, etc.  This was generally true except for those guys who would gladly take seconds or thirds if it meant pussy.  Any pussy, even used pussy, was preferable over the alternative – a night with “Rosy Palmer.”

As I’ve gotten older and more secure in my role as a small endowed man, I now have a much different view of sloppy seconds.   I thoroughly enjoy them.  There are some small endowed men who are in a cuckold relationship or other form of open relationship that allow them to experience the concept of sloppy seconds first hand.  But, for those of us in monogamous relationships, we still have the opportunity to experience sloppy seconds, but instead of going second to a real cock, we go second after a larger dildo, strap-on cock or penis extension.  While there is an obvious difference between a real cock and an inanimate object like a dildo, the principal concept of sloppy seconds is still the same.

When I slide my little penis inside my wife after she has used a larger dildo or I have given her my “Big Boy Cock,” the feeling is simply indescribable.  The first feeling I notice is how easily I slide inside her.  There is no resistance at all because she has been well fucked by the longer and thicker “cock.”  The second feeling I notice immediately is my “smallness.”  I feel very small inside her, but that feeling too, seems natural, and is very erotic and highly arousing.  The third thing that comes to mind simultaneously is my wife’s incredible sexual capacity as a woman.  Her ability to accommodate almost any size “cock” is amazing, and intoxicating to watch.    It excites me to no end.

Another layer of psychological suspense for me is the notion that the cock (big) always goes before the penis (small).  There is something that just seems inherently right and natural for it to be that way – at least to me.  I hadn’t really thought about it before, but a few other women have commented on the blog that the cock (dildo) always goes before their husband’s small penis and that it’s also “natural for it to be that way because it would be that way in nature.”  Hmmm, that’s an interesting observation, and I might tend to agree.

My question for blog readers (male & female) is: How do you view the term “Sloppy Seconds?”  Does it resonate with you like it does for me, or do you have a different take on it altogether?

Secondly, if you are in a similar relationship and use sex toys like we do, does the “cock” always seem to go before the “penis?”

Please share your thoughts.  Thanks!

Would You Mind If She Told Her Girlfriend(s)?

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Months ago, I posted an article for our women readers asking how many of them have told a girlfriend(s) about their partner’s small endowment.   Surprisingly to me, many have, and the comments ran the gambit.  While many women admitted that they have told a girlfriend(s), some haven’t, and one woman even responded saying she would be too embarrassed to admit how small her man was to her girlfriends.

Recently, I have noticed several guys on the blog have revealed this has happened to them and it really turned them on.  At the same time, many other guys have confessed they fantasize about something like this happening, but in a “discreet” sort of way and not have this knowledge posted on the Internet.  The interesting and surprising thing is, for many guys the very idea that it could happen provides a great source of arousal.

I have noticed that some men even take this to the extreme and have turned it into an art form.  They might post their photos online and get incredibly turned on by the reaction to them.  And, the number of men who have sent me photos of their small penises wanting me to post them on this blog has surprised me. (PS:  Don’t send any because I won’t post them).   Some single guys have admitted they have become “serial daters” looking to provide that next “small cock shock” to other women.  And of course, a lot of this goes on via webcam.

So, while this “exposure” can and does come in variety of ways, let’s focus on your wife or partner and turn the tables from my original post, when I posed the question to women.  This is for the guys.   Would you mind if your wife/partner told her girlfriend(s) or even someone else that you have a small penis?  In terms of small endowed guys wanting to be “exposed” for their shortcomings, it really seems to run the gambit, and they usually fall into one of these categories:

A. Those that would be utterly terrified and perhaps even angry if their wives/partners “exposed” their secret.

B. Those who are comfortable discussing their small size with their partner feeling that an honest discussion will lead to better sex –but they wouldn’t want anyone else to know their “little secret.”

C. Those that are ok with their small size and have discussed it with their wives, but they hold some fascination and curiosity about being “exposed.”

D. Those that would be super turned on if their wife/partner revealed the truth about their shortcomings to other women.

So, the first question to the guys is, which category are you in?

The second question is, for those of you who are really turned on about the prospect of your wife/girlfriend exposing your secret, why does this hold such an erotic appeal for you?

Please share whatever thoughts you have on the subject.  Thanks!


My Power Over My Husband’s Small Penis

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There have recently been a number of comments about the power dynamics a woman has over her husband’s small penis.  In an earlier article, “A Wife’s Power over Her Husband’s Small Penis,” back in January, Steve touched on it to some extent, but he encouraged me to offer a woman’s perspective on the psychology and power dynamics behind this issue.

The Beginning:  As I have stated previously, our relationship changed for the better once Steve accepted his small penis.  When he did, it finally allowed him to be who he really was sexually, and it can be very enlightening for anyone to discover their true sexual identity.  The truth is Steve is a small endowed, submissive male in the bedroom.  The problem for us initially was it took me a while to fully understand and comprehend the dynamics and implications of his new “revelation.”  But, through many discussions, and over the course of several months, I finally got it, and I realized there was a whole new world of exciting sexual possibilities for us.

Becoming Cock Centric: My husband obsesses about his penis, as do most men.  It’s the symbol of their manhood, and any real or perceived disadvantage in this area can have a profound effect on them.  One of the things I knew I needed to do was to become more “cock centric” myself.  It was important for me to learn how small endowed men think, and the implications of having a small penis.  My husband initially requested that I refer to his penis as small.  I didn’t understand this desire, but, with some trepidation, I waded in to the small penis waters and tested his reaction to my acknowledgement that he was small.  The effect it had on him was swift and profound. To say that he liked it would be an understatement, no he loved it!  These initial, very positive experiences, led me to be more vocal about his small penis.

Where does the source of power originate?   I can’t speak for all couples, but for us, when Steve accepted his small penis, it led him directly to acknowledge to himself that he knew I was settling for less.  It was liberating for Steve to acknowledge this to me.  But, it wasn’t until I openly confirmed it was true, that I realized the potential of power it gave me in the relationship.

Levels of Power:  When it comes to the power that a woman enjoys over her husband’s small penis, it can run the gambit.  There is a fine line between the excitement/satisfaction of being mildly put in one’s sexual place versus submitting to deep humiliation. For example, some women enjoy being very dominant over their small-endowed husbands.  These women may exhibit this power by having their hubby’s wear a cock cage, withhold sex from their husbands for months, maybe even indefinitely, and lead him into deeper submission and perhaps demonstrate their power and his submissiveness by openly humiliating him. The power they wield over their husbands is thorough and complete, and even extends to all facets of their relationship, where hubby willingly does all of her chores, runs her errands, etc. While this is a more extreme version of this power exchange, there are many couples that enjoy this dynamic.

We are attracted to a more subtle form of this dynamic, and what the author Alex Hathaway calls, “sensual domination.”  When we were both able and willing to acknowledge Steve had a small penis, it didn’t change the love or commitment we had for each other, but it did necessitate a new kind of sexual honesty in our relationship.  We had many long talks about the submissive-dominant dynamic in sex.  For us, the reality in our relationship is Steve is a small endowed, sexual submissive in the bedroom. He knows that my preference is for a more alpha, dominant male and that I would submit willingly to such a male. But I have found that I have the power to tease him, about his lack of cock, which challenges him to be more aggressive sexually.

Consequently, I know I’m Steve’s female dominant, and as a result, I have assumed a more aggressive role in our sexual relationship. It has changed the entire dynamic of our sex life, and I must confess it has changed for the better.

How I Demonstrate Power Over My Husbands Small Penis:  One interesting thing I quickly discovered is, I realized I had more sexual power in our marriage than Steve does. But, like many small endowed men, I think he realized this power shift before I did, and he welcomed and embraced it.  When I realized the power this gave me, I chose not to abuse it but instead to tease him with it and keep him continuously on edge. While he is content for me to exercise this power solely for my own enjoyment, I do take into account how it will affect our relationship.  Some examples of how I demonstrate power over my husband’s small penis include:

  • I frequently acknowledge that Steve has a very small penis. The more I remind him the better.
  • I acknowledge the difference between a penis (small) and a cock (big).  Steve has a penis, and other men have cocks.  In fact, my dildos are cocks and Steve knows this.
  • Prior to sex, I may express my desire for a cock (dildo) and when I do, the cock will always go first, and Steve will gladly settle for the sloppy seconds.
  • There may be some nights when all I need is a cock and not a penis at all, and he accepts this fact.
  • I like to sexually challenge him to try and satisfy me like I know a man with a big cock could.  All I have to do is throw down this gauntlet and his reaction is amazing.
  • I like to subtly hint, imply or openly express my big cock curiosity.  See my previous article on “What am I missing.”  Steve gets really turned on by this and so do I.  I like to keep him guessing.
  • Similarly, we both know Steve is a small-endowed, submissive cuckold, and the implication of that reality.  Reminding him of this also keeps him on his toes.

As you can see from the two examples given, the extent of power a woman has over her small endowed husband, and how she exercises that power, can vary from relationship to relationship. Where couples fit on this continuum and what they want to include and not include, is totally up for them to decide.

How Does This Power Shift Occur?  Who initiates a power shift such as this in a relationship?  Often times, the small endowed man will initiate it because he feels like it’s a natural place for him to be.  However, there are some relationships, where a dominant female will initiate it because she instinctively knows it will work and she enjoys the complete power it gives her in the relationship. Some couples may even arrive at this decision jointly.   So, it can vary and depends on the individuals involved.

The Advantages: The advantages to the woman having more sexual power in a relationship cannot be overstated.  Ever since we began our journey down this road, Steve has been more focused on my sexual pleasure. And, it’s not like he was an inconsiderate lover before, because he was always very attentive to my needs.  But there is something different now.  We now have more sex, and even better sex, and it’s no coincidence, rather it’s directly related to this power shift and our sexual honesty.  I have even noticed that his desire to please me has even extended outside the bedroom.  He is calmer, more agreeable, and much more willing to do things with me and for me, and not because he’s a doormat because he isn’t, it’s because he wants to.

How do the rest of you feel about the sexual power dynamics in a relationship?

Why I Love Fantasy Cuckolding My Husband

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While my husband has explored the topic of cuckolding in previous articles in great detail, I thought I should approach the subject from a woman’s point of view.  There are a lot of men and even some women who visit this blog who are very interested in this topic.  Some are currently indulging in cuckolding as a fantasy, while many others want to broach the subject with a partner, but are unsure how to do it, or they are afraid of a negative reaction to it.   Hopefully, this article will be helpful for those of you who want to discuss the subject with your partner.

How The Subject Came Up:  When Steve finally accepted his small penis, it opened up a whole new world of sexual possibilities for him personally, and for us as a couple.  He became intrigued with cuckolding.   The problem was, despite the fact we have very good sexual communication; he neglected to tell me about his interest in this topic for almost two years.  In his defense, there were two primary reasons why he didn’t come clean about his fascination with cuckolding.  First, he didn’t understand the power cuckolding had over him or even his reaction to it.  It began for him by fantasizing I was having sex with a guy with a big cock, and then he would become aroused, and have an explosive masturbatory orgasm, and subsequently feel guilty.  This cycle repeated itself over and over again.  Second, he was worried about my reaction to it.    How does a guy admit to his wife that he fantasizes about her having sex with a guy who has a bigger cock and is better in bed?  How will she react?  Will she view him as sexually weak and less manly?   So, while I was upset with him because he withheld this interest from me, I understand why he did.

My Reaction:  What was my reaction to his admission he fantasized about cuckolding?  While I did understand what cuckolding was, I had never really given it much thought until my husband confessed his interest in the subject.  To be honest, my initial reaction, much like most women, was I was very concerned.  Steve satisfied me sexually and I had no interest in having sex with other men, no matter how big their cocks were.

But, while my initial reaction was to say no and I did, I wanted to learn WHY it appealed to him so much.  I believe a lot of women who heard their husbands express this interest would shoot it down, and say “End of discussion.” To those women, I would only suggest that you think about your husband/partners strong reaction to it, just don’t discount it on face value.  It’s not going to go away just because you disapprove of it.

Steve shared with me excerpts from the book, “From Housewife to Cuckoldress, How I Took Control of a Marriage in Crises,” by Alex Hathaway.  I say he shared excerpts, because he only read the excerpts online because he was too timid to buy and download the book, thinking I might have an adverse reaction to it.  So, while he was sharing those excerpts with me, I downloaded it so he could read the whole story, and he was surprised and turned on that I did that for him.

Another eye-opener for me is when we took the erotic personality inventory from:  Your Erotic Personality: Identifying and Understanding Your Sexual Self,” by Sage Vivant.  While my erotic personality is much different than his, Steve’s results indicated he was a cuckold.  The remarkable thing about the results was we didn’t even know ahead of time that there was a cuckold personality type.  In discussing our results, we both realized this was hardly a scientific determination of our sexual personalities, but we also both knew they were true for us.

So, what to do?  I could bury my head in the sand and pretend my husband didn’t have a cuckold personality, or I could suggest he use the results for his own masturbatory purposes only or…perhaps there was another alternative…maybe a way we could incorporate his cuckold personality into our sex lives and just have fun with it. (Good idea!)

Our Solution:  It took really good communication from both of us over several months, but we were able to create a cuckolding fantasy world. It was through these very erotic discussions that led him to write the article, “A Woman’s Guide to Creating a Cuckolding Fantasy World,” which was posted on June 22, 2012.  This is a very extensive explanation on the subject, and I highly recommend any couple who has an interest in exploring the fascinating world of fantasy cuckolding, to read it for ideas and suggestions on how to do it. I decided I wanted to find a way to incorporate his fantasy into our sex life.

My Education on the Subject:  I love learning about what turns people on sexually.  I have been particularly fascinated to learn about cuckolding and why men find it to be a fascinating subject.  A lot of men, indeed, I think most men (regardless of penis size) have wondered at one time or another what it would be like to see their wives engaging in sex with another man.  How would she respond to another man sexually, would he be able to pleasure her better than he could, would she have more explosive orgasms, are all questions men ponder.  If a man has a small penis, his curiosity is even more pronounced.  How will she respond to a man who has a longer and thicker penis?  Every man with a small penis has pondered this question.

While I don’t profess to be an expert on the subject, I have been fascinated by just how many men with small penises have an interest in both, small penis teasing and cuckolding.  Though men of all penis sizes engage in these activities, I think men with small penises are much more likely to have an interest in them.  I also believe this interest is much more common than most people realize.

I also have to admit that until my husband kept bringing up the issue of cock size, it really wasn’t all that important to me.  But, what I have learned is my husband really does have a small penis.  I have talked to a lot of men who have 5-6 inches and are craving this, is it really any surprise my husband with 4 inches wants it?  Not really.  An often quoted sexual therapist described the correlation of cuckolding and penis size this way:

“Among my patients, husbands with smaller penises were not only more agreeable to being cuckolded, but would even sometimes suggest it. These very enlightened, lesser-endowed, husbands were keenly aware of their inability to satisfy their wives sexually.”

Many men and women who are currently practicing fantasy cuckolding can identify with this statement. I’m maybe in the minority because my husband can satisfy me even with 4 inches.  But, in his mind, he wonders if I could be better satisfied with a thick 7 or 8 inches.  For me, that’s part of the fun.  Keeping him guessing as to what the answer to that question really is.

I have also been fascinated to learn just how many women have fantasy cuckolded their partners already.  They seem to fall into three groups. (1) Those women married to guys who don’t even have a small penis.  For example, “J” and “D” from this blog are prime examples.  “J” has a good sized 6 ½” thick cock.  “D” loves to tease him about her larger ex-boyfriends, and “J” loves it and loves the fantasy cuckold implications.  (2) Some women are married to guys who have small penises who cannot satisfy them sexually (very common).  For these women, fantasy cuckolding is a very safe alternative compared to the risks of doing the real thing.  (3) Fewer women married to small endowed men are sexually satisfied by their partners. (I’m in this group)  For us, even though we are satisfied, our husbands still crave to be cuckolded, and in our case, I’m only too willing to provide him with that craving.  The bottom line is, a lot of women are doing this and just having fun with it.  It doesn’t mean they don’t love their partners; they are just fulfilling a major fantasy of his.

What if You Don’t Fantasy Cuckold Your Husband?  So, women reading this might ask this very question.  Well, obviously the choice to engage in fantasy cuckolding is a decision only a couple can make.  If the man expresses interest in it, my advice is to at least talk with him and find out why, and what turns him on about it.  After all, a fantasy cuckold relationship is a very safe alternative.  One thing I have learned is a man’s interest in this is not going to disappear just because you’re unwilling to engage in it with him.  What he will do is seek out other avenues to express it.  This may involve cuckold phone fantasy conversations or internet chat room discussions with a woman who is only too happy to be his “cuckoldress.”  Do you want him to engage in his fantasy secretly, or do you want to come along for the ride?  There is a phrase I have seen which is at the heart of his fantasy, “Once a cuck, always a cuck.”  This speaks to the power of being a cuckold for the man.  This isn’t a phase he is going through, he fantasizes about it constantly.

Why I Love Fantasy Cuckolding My Husband:  The primary question of this article can best be answered by saying I love it because it excites the hell out him.  Nothing has ever turned him on like this does.  The fact I can provide him an unmatched level of sexual excitement is a major turn on for me.  Plus, the reality is my husband is a cuck.  He knows it and I know it too.  But another major advantage to it is he no longer has to hide his cuckold personality or be ashamed of it and feel guilty.  Instead, he can be who he really is sexually.

For Steve, like many cuckolds, the primary trigger for his arousal is the belief that I need, or deserve a bigger cock than his to satisfy me. To fulfill this fantasy, we have incorporated larger dildos (Johnny and Eddy) to recreate the “large cock boyfriends” into our sex life. The more I remind him that he has a small one, and suggest, hint or flatly state that I prefer a larger one, the more aroused he becomes, and the more eager he is to prove me wrong.  I have discovered that the more frequently I remind him of this; it serves to keep him in a heightened state of arousal.  Who would have thought it would be so easy to keep your husband aroused, while at the same time enjoying the benefits myself?  :-)

My husband asked me an interesting question the other day.  He said, “I know you would never do it, but does the fact that you could engage in real life cuckolding any time you want turn you on at all?”   I think I surprised him when I said of course it does, and I wasn’t just saying that for his benefit.  I think therein lies the excitement for me in providing him with fantasy cuckolding.  There is something about the dynamic that is exciting.  While I would honestly never do it, I don’t mind if he thinks I might eventually be tempted to try it.  In fact, the more I remind him that his fantasy may become his reality, the better.   A little mystery and intrigue may keep him on his toes.  :)

Lastly, this has not been a one-way street either. There are many other benefits that I have realized as a result of fantasy cuckolding my husband.   In his article, “A Woman’s Guide to Creating a Cuckolding Fantasy World,” Steve listed many of those benefits which I tend to agree with.   To summarize them here, I love the fact that he considers me his “Hotwife” and he will do anything to pleasure me in and out of bed.   This is something I enjoy and he is much more focused on me, and our relationship is dynamic, fun and exciting.  What’s not to like?

I (we) would be interested in hearing the perspective and experiences of other men and women.


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