We try to offer our readers a wide variety of topics that are interesting, thought-provoking and generate a lot of discussion and debate. My wife and I love to talk and write about sex. It’s not enough for us to just accept that something turns us on; we want to know why it turns us on. Is there something about it that psychologically turns us on? Is it physical or is it biological? We find sexual exploration fascinating. Along those lines, I’m sure the title of this post got your attention, and we are very curious to hear what your thoughts are on the subject.
When I recently published the article, “Do You Wish You Had A Smaller Penis?” I wanted to introduce a psychological aspect of that question, but didn’t want to muddy the waters and thought it deserved to be a standalone article on its own merits, so here it is.
It has been said by many, that our brain is our “biggest” sexual organ, and I believe that most of us would probably agree with that statement. I spoke to one of our followers recently who confessed that he could not get very hard during sex and was unable to provide any “thrusting” during intercourse at all. I asked him if he felt it was a physical or psychological issue, and he said that it was psychological because he wanted his wife to cuckold him, and by being unsatisfactory in bed, it might increase the chances of it happening. When I heard that, a light bulb went on for me, and I wondered, do we (small endowed men) psychologically sabotage our relationships, and if we do, is it consciously or subconsciously motivated, and how common is it?
In talking with my wife about this, we both agreed that another very common sexual problem that small endowed men have shared with us is Premature Ejaculation (PE). This seems to be much more common among small endowed men than either of us would have thought. Now, let me be clear, I’m not suggesting that men with PE are psychologically sabotaging their sexual performance because I simply don’t know, but I would be curious to hear from men who experience PE what they attribute it too. Since there could be medical reasons (such as ED or PE) associated with performance issues, I feel it’s necessary to add my usual disclaimer upfront that I’m not a medical expert, and would encourage any man who feels that they might have a medically associated sexual problem to seek help from trained physicians. Consequently, even though ED and PE could be either physically or psychologically driven, I want to avoid diving into those subjects too deeply because I don’t feel qualified to address them. But, are there other, more obvious examples of potential psychological sabotage?
As I thought about it, I realized that I haven’t seen any studies or empirical evidence on this subject at all. I have no idea how common it is, or whether or not it is more common among small-endowed men versus average or well-endowed men. But it is a fascinating subject. So, in thinking about it, I wondered if there were other examples of sexual sabotage that we gravitate to, maybe without even thinking about it or realizing it. Perhaps there are, and might even include some of the subjects we talk a lot about on this blog for example:
- Why do we crave SPT or SPH?
- Why do we want our wives to use dildos that aren’t just larger than us, but substantially larger?
- Why do we want our partners to “out” us?
- Why do we want our partners to compare our very small penises with men who are supremely more endowed than we are?
- Why do we love big pussy sex and “sloppy seconds?”
- Why do we enjoy tease & denial and chastity?
- Why do we wish we had even smaller penises?
Do we desire some or all of these things to underscore to our partners just how small and inadequate we are by comparison? Do we subconsciously want them to desire, and perhaps even prefer larger endowed men? Or, do we do it consciously, merely for a little SPT play to enhance our relationships? To me, these are fascinating questions.
I had never pondered these questions personally, but in thinking about this article, I reflected on it from my own personal point of view. What I thought was I would like to be able to say that my excitement and interest in all of these things was conscious – merely to enhance our SPT sex play. But, if I’m honest with myself, I think many of them are subconscious, and examples of psychological sabotage efforts. Why? Because I would love for my wife to be able to experience big cock sex. I can’t deny that this is my ultimate fantasy and I think subconsciously, the smaller and more inadequate I feel, the more likely it is to happen.
For me, this was an important revelation. The term psychological sabotage has a very negative connotation associated with it, but for good reason. I don’t think it is healthy to sabotage a relationship regardless of whether it is consciously or subconsciously motivated. The important lesson learned for me is that I can’t do anything consciously or subconsciously that is destructive to our sexual relationship. As far as sex goes, I need to be the best lover I can be within my obvious limitations. I need to compensate, be creative, imaginative and resourceful in the bedroom. But, this doesn’t mean we need to stop doing any of the things listed above, but will now do them with a new light shed on them. While I can’t deny that I would love for my wife to experience big cock sex, I can’t psychologically sabotage our relationship to make this happen. I also can’t consciously push her in this direction either. If it happens at all, it has to be something she wants to do and we need to agree on it in the context of our relationship.
Lastly, this is a fascinating and complex topic, and I would be very interested to know if any of you are aware of any serious research efforts on the subject. How common is psychological sabotage in sexual relationships? Is there any correlation between penis size and psychological sabotage? Is there a biological component to it? What are the typical examples of it? How does it affect relationships?
As always, I’m very curious to hear what others think about it, which leads me to today’s questions. When it comes to your sex life:
- Have you ever psychologically sabotaged a sexual relationship?
- If so, do you believe it was consciously or subconsciously driven?
- If so, what thing(s) have you done to sabotage your sexual relationship?
- If you have sabotaged your relationship, what would you attribute it too: (a) Your desire for SPT, (b) You want to underscore your perceived inadequacy, or (c) Your desire to be a cuckold? (d) Something else?
As always, feel free to add anything else that you think is relevant to the subject, and we would enjoy hearing any thoughts you have on this fascinating topic.