Orgasm Denial & Control

Orgasm Control - Copy

One of our female followers asked me to cover this topic, so in the pursuit of her curiosity, here we go.   In reviewing previous posts, this subject has actually been brought up or referred to several times and by multiple women and even a few men as well, so I know it’s not an isolated practice. I confess to having no expertise in this area, but I’m sure others do, and I would encourage you to weigh in accordingly.

There have been several comments along the lines of women “controlling or denying” their husbands/boyfriends orgasms. How long they deny their partners sex also seems to run the gambit, from a few days to a few months or perhaps even indefinitely. Recently, the subject of “cock cages” came up as a way to restrain their male partners from even getting an erection, which is also associated with this topic.

In thinking about this subject, I can think of only one instance where this would even remotely appeal to me personally. For example, if my wife were to say to me, “Tonight I’m having sex with Eddy (her big boy toy) and you have to watch,” well, that would be very unexpected, but because it was unexpected, it would be titillating and yes, perhaps even exciting. But to be denied sex on a regular basis, probably not so much.

I think what this is all about, at least from what I’ve read, is the power and control this gives a woman in the relationship.  Is this a modern day form of “Not tonight honey, I have a headache?:) Denying him access or release gives her the ultimate power, and I suppose the “Cock Cage” serves to cement that power. By controlling his release, maybe this is just another form of “behavior modification” as well.

OK readers, what do you think? Do any of you practice any form of orgasm denial or control?  If so, how would you describe it and define it for you?  And how do you put it into practice so to speak? How long do you deny him, and astly, what are the advantages/disadvantages to this control?

Please share your thoughts on the subject for the rest of us. Thanks

25 Responses to “Orgasm Denial & Control”

  1. Porsha Says:

    I would not like a cock cage
    I would not like it here nor there
    I would not like it anywhere!

    Unexpectedly is always a pleasant surprise as Steve stated.
    Example: once “unexpectedly” I sternly told Super “don’t you dare f@#*ing cum I’m not ready” I wanted to cum first….. I thought he was gonna explode- he went berserker!
    He LOVED it!

    He loves teasing & touching me ALL over & sliding in just his fingers or the “tip” and waiting till I BEG for it…clearly letting me know he IS Alpha. I LOVE it makes me HOT.

    I do know neither one of us would like being denied for more than in the moment. Not sure that even qualifies? But works for US :)
    I NEVER have a headache ..

  2. Porsha Says:

    I would like to add:
    To ME I don’t mind sexual denial or control. A cock cage is or bordering more of S&M behavior in my mind.

  3. corey Says:

    I am small and very thin. A few years ago wifey decided to put me in a Mature Metals custom cage and I get 4 orgasm per year. She gets oral about every other day.

    I find that as a small guy, I have masterbated a bunch – she knows that and over the years being married has felt left out. Now she is making up time.

    Since I can’t make her cum with penetration, she really does not miss it – but she really loves oral now that I have become an expert.

  4. Wanna Be Says:

    Orgasm Denial and Cock Cages are not on a man’s top thing to request from his wife, that’s for sure! However, there is something very arousing with having your spouse feel empowered enough sexually to take control and seek her own gratification.

    Now with both of these topics, like Cuckolding, there are extremes to both – and I am sure that there are a ton of questions that can come up on both. But for me, I do enjoy both of these to a degree. There are women and men into punishments and heavy S & M and things I have absolutely no interest in. But there are aspects of both of these things that drive me wild.

    With Orgasm control, this is not just about her not allowing me to cum, it can also be about me trying not to cum during sex or for a period of time. If I do not cum for 2 weeks, let’s say, that does not mean that we have not had sex a few times or that we have not been very intimate. A man is nicer and a better husband typically when he does not cum. If you want him to initiate sex more, don’t let him cum and you will see how horny he gets! The one caveat is that you can’t just forget about him. You still need to find ways to keep him aroused. By using your dildos, giving a couple minutes rub to his little dick goes a long way on keeping him interested. Remember, it is supposed to be fun, a challenge, a way to keep the electricity in the air.

    My wife, for example, may tell me I can’t cum until I finish a project in the house that I have been lazy about completing. The first few days I still might drag my feet, but by day 10 I am the handyman for sure!!! So, who is to say that I am not jerking off behind her back? She is getting oral, using her dildos, dressing sexy, and doing things to keep me aroused. My cock and balls are aching for release, yet I don’t because it’s part of the game. Some men might not be that disciplined and that is where the cock cage comes in!!!

    Cock cages are useful for means of punishment, and to truly demonstrate the power shift in the marriage. The first time she clicks the lock on your cage, and hides away the key is an OH CRAP moment for sure. She will laugh at your useless little cock that is lock up, knowing she has you where she wants you. Now, again, some woman may take this too far and get into S & M and locking for months at a time. For use it is just a bit of fun.

    Let’s say I make her mad about something or forget to pick up the dry cleaning or something. I can be locked up for a couple days as punishment. Or if I get caught masturbating? I am getting locked for sure! For a wife that is married to a man with a really small penis, who does not have a lot of use for his cock this is especially tantalizing because she not only does not want your cock, she won’t let you play with it either! LOL

    I will point out that Cock Cages are not just for guys with small cocks, they make them in all sizes. Some men just like their women to be in control sexually. Similar to a cuckold, they are typically very strong or powerful men in their lives. It is pretty erotic for that guy to being able to satisfy everything in his world, except himself. Women, it is worth a try! Talk about behavior modification! 

  5. Karen Says:

    Corey, your wife is a good woman to put you in your place for not being able to please her. I pretended to enjoy intercourse long enough, his penis was just to small to get the job done. Amazing how once everything was out in the open how much better our sex lives got! I am sure this is controversial, but I don’t really have intercourse with my husband, though we are very sexual with each other. Learn to control the penis, you’ve learned how to control the man. I have never tried a cage on him, but I am very sure I am going to! My husband loves being teased and denied and humiliated about his size and is very proficient at oral like you!

  6. Liz Says:

    Teasing and Denial and Cock Cages all go hand and hand with humiliation (teasing) and dominance. What I have seen from this site is that a lot of men want the truth, they want their women being honest with them and telling them how they are small, while they use their bigger dildos to find satisfaction. They are content with that. Now those women are likely of gentle spirit but once you get a strong aggressive woman married to “that guy” these other more dominant things can creep into play. Sure, most of you guys don’t want to be denied or caged – but a lot of men in your shoes find that along the way, they just don’t have a choice. Ha

    I was looking for an article I read a while back about this Tantric or Taoist guy that orgasmed every 100th time he had sex. Yikes! I posted a link below… GREAT READING for why Orgasm Control is such a hot topic and precisely why I do it!

    This is also a great article describing why men get off on this and why it works for them and their women!

    This topic is at the heart of why men crave their wives using toys, like humiliation (teasing), are into cuckolding… this is mental ejaculation for a man. They do derive a lot of pleasure for these things that many other people just don’t understand. If you are married to one of these men, there is a whole world out their that you are sure to LOVE if you learn to understand it and control you husbands little dick. :\\

  7. jane24111 Says:

    I agree with Karen and Liz. No matter what size of their penis I practice orgasm control. My husband has a small penis which doesn’t get the job done. Even if he had a huge penis I would be the same. I grew up a natural cock tease. I keep him for days to weeks between orgasms. He becomes more devoted cooperative loving the longer he goes. House work sex chores all are done. Nothing is better than seeing him walk around with his little boner. Our marriage works I would estimate that besides sex we spilt up the work load about 50-50.Myself I come usually 3-4 times a week either orally/dildo or masturbation. I figure a 3-1 orgasm ratio. I have used a cock cage. One night I found him masturbating without permission. He stayed locked up for a week. He got the message.

  8. Michele Says:

    I have not locked my husband up, but I do like to play the control card at times to keep him on his toes and devoted to my needs. I am not opposed to using a chastity device on him though!

  9. Liz Says:

    Porsha – I will say that men with large cocks enjoy the power shift, being denied, controlled or caged also. Maybe not your man, but I’ve been there done that. Just about every man I have been with I have tamed and owned their cocks, big and small. Just saying!

    • Porsha Says:

      Good to know :) I’m sure there are all kinds.
      What I find more fascinating in all this is the “woman’s ” Perspective.
      I started out curious of the man’s why they would enjoy watching their wives with larger cocks and enjoy it.
      I get it
      Now I’m getting to the other side of the coin.
      Don’t be confused I love controlling super & I DO. I think there is a level of that in all relationships.
      I DO practice teasing & control in the bedroom (so does he) and he enjoys it very much!
      Two “alphas” at play can be quite interesting at times & intense.
      You’ve all watched animal planet lol
      Our dynamic if you will is just quite different is all.
      Visually that “cock cage” isn’t appealing to me. It turns me off to see a man “cowering” like that.
      Don’t be confused,
      I OWN supers cock ;) he knows it!
      And I don’t mind making him “suffer” at times just differently.
      But he must also “own” me & that isn’t easy :)

  10. corey Says:

    Liz and Karen understand men that either can’t perform due to our size or incompetence.

    Being caged is about control and if done in a loving, fun way can be very powerful. She now is like a flower opening and enjoys more sex in her 50’s that ever before. It is about her pleasure.

    Over the last 2 years she has learned how to keep the electricity there but still deny. It has been 3 months – and believe me – the only way I will get mine is to give her plenty.

    Since this is about small men, I do believe there is a correlation. You know you are smaller and accept that fact – so accepting the idea of denial for her pleasure only adds to my SPH mindset.

    • jane24111 Says:

      Weekend fantasy game orgasm control. Where we live is hot hot hot. This weather has made life boring golfing hiking all off line so a fantasy game seems mandatory. I am getting horny with my planning. My husbands penis is at best 5.5 inches but if it were 8 inches same game. Penis size is not any issue I like this fantasy. Due to the weather my husband and I rarely wear clothes around the house or backyard where we can skinny dip all day.Tomorrow I am going to dress my husband in only an apron short lacy tied in the back covers his penis but not his but. He will get an immediate erection making a small tent pole pushing the apron out front.I will get immediately horny. He will be teased about his size. This is all he will wear for the whole day or longer if we had more time longer[we have company today]. He will to due the usual maid duties cook clean and service my pussy. I think 2 oral 1 dildo orgasms[strap on] will be my goal. His goal will be intercourse Monday at the earliest no guarantee.When and if he does get to fuck me he get an A+++ for effort enthusiasm enjoyment and a F for partner not coming. Monday we will dress for work coat and tie for him dress for me. He is my boss

      • Porsha Says:

        Love your creativity! :)
        I cannot imagine Super in a lacy open back apron.
        But, you may have inspired me to get creative as well.

  11. Bob Says:

    My wife often keeps me locked in a CB-6000S. I never thought she would take to being a Keyholder because she does not like anything kinky. I created a monster. She’s kept me pretty much locked the past 5 years. She made me go six weeks a few times and I’m always on my best behavior after about three weeks.
    Once she unlocked me and was stroking me and I started to ejaculate. She squeezed it of, not letting me squirt, stopping it so I could not finish. That was it for me, but I had to orally please her. Because she stopped me from ejaculating completely and made me lock back up the next day I was just as horny and needy as before. I was driven to please, love and cater to her just as if it had been a month since I had a release.
    I love her when she keeps me locked in chastity, requiring me to be nice and attend to her.

    • kdaddy23 Says:

      OMG! I actually went and searched for that CB-6000S… and I almost fainted! I always wondered if there was such a thing as a chastity belt for men… and now I’ve seen one. Nothing against Bob and his lady and what they do for fun but if my lady wanted to put one of those things on me, we’d be fighting! All I could keep saying was, “Wow… wow…”

  12. D Says:

    I do like the orgasm control i have over my boyfriend, although i could not make him wait for weeks or months, that just isn’t the way i would feel good about controlling him. I do however like when i can tell him, you know when i come to see you and stay with you and you have work the next day you do not get to have an orgasm, you have to get up early and go to work so you will have to wait. That doesn’t seem like much but it drives him crazy. Some of it might be because i do tease him when i do get there. I may say very naughty things to him to get him hard and i may grab his little penis and squeeze it and tell him how i know he “needs” to be able to cum but that he is just going to have to wait until the next night or maybe even the night after that. I might let him do oral sex on me which sure does me a lot of good but then i will tell him he is not allowed to touch himself at all. He might beg me and tell me how bad he needs it but i will still make him wait.
    I did go out not too long ago and he drove me to the club and dropped me off. I told him to go back home and i had him do a few chores while i was out having a great time and seeing some very hot guys dancing and stripping. I text him throughout the night and told him about the big cocks i saw in those g-strings. He was totally going nuts by the time i called him and he came and picked me up, i told him all about the rest of the night and how i got so into those guys giving lap dances, and grinding on me. It was just the right thing to make him feel like he was going to lose his mind before he got to fuck me with his lil penis….. The build up after him not cumming for a while is AMAZING!!!! He gives me exactly what i need, and i give him what he needs too and it is like the 4th of July fireworks going off for us. :)

  13. The Darkest Shaddow Says:

    How does denial affect me?

    Well firstly: it’s hot, I had an affair where I would go round, give her oral, then be sent home, my trousers didn’t even come off, she showed zero interest in my cock, it was a turn-on.
    Secondly: in terms of how it affects me sexually, I get harder, more, for longer, I feel dirtier and kinkier, if you tease me and do sex-stuff without me cumming, I get so kinky I get more and more depraved, till I’d be willing to do damn near anything
    Thirdly: how does it affect me as a person, not good! if I don’t cum a lot, if I didn’t cum recently, I can be impatient, ill tempered… if there is a busy shopping Saturday she knows an orgasm before we go is pretty much essential

    A cage?

    In principle, I think it’s hot, and I’d be up for it, but I know very little about it… I’d want to be confident it didn’t cause problems, health wise… also, this is kinda gross but… how do you get your foreskin back to ensure you piss in a straight line? it spraying all down your trousers is not the sort of humiliation I seek!

    How long would I like denial for?

    Maybe if it was like a week of giving her orgasms and body worship, half the nights without anything for me, half the nights where she maybe gets me to the brink or just teases me… then at the weekend, maybe an orgasm this weekend, a ruined one another weekend, or milked several times another weekend?

  14. 2fightdog2 Says:

    My wife and I have talked about this very subject. I had to be put into chasity device to assure no masturbation and no erections. It’s sort of scary for me.

  15. mestirsugarman Says:

    Seems a bit dangerous to me. Cages and locks how do you keep clean willit rub or chafe? If so a groin can be a nasty place to get a rash or infection how about a medical emergency how would you get a cathiter in if needed. Im all for fun and games but I would not want 5o hurt or endanger my loved one. If I told my partner to wear a device to ontrol her genitals that caused her damage I would be distraught. Perhaps it would cause her to wonder about my feelings for her and her wellbeing. It seems like a lot of effort for little reward. Thinking on it further if she had a need to feel that control and surrender and needed a symbol of my dominance how about not letting her wear female underware keep her in baggy y fronts or boxers. Same for you guys made to wear frilly pants or g strings

  16. little m Says:

    Orgasm control and denial is mind blowing.

    Having very recently given control of my orgasm to someone I can attest to the frustration and horniness that has resulted. I am not allowed to make myself cum without having permission. I am a terrible liar so I could never just do it and then deny I did. If I do it I will have to face her and admit I failed her. That is something I never want to do.

    After years of jerking off and cumming whenever I could get a hard on it has now been reduced to almost no orgasms. But the day came where I was given permission to do it, i had the strongest orgasm in years. It felt so good. The volume and force of cum was from thirty years ago. It was amazing.

    My penis seems to be hard all of the time and I can’t get my mind off when will the next time happen.

    I was recently teased mercilessly but told I could stroke my penis, just threatened and forbidden from cumming. I got so close, I could feel it starting to happen, I told her I was about to cum, that I was getting closer. It was so close, then I was told to stop and put it away. I immediately stopped but I was afraid I was going to cum anyway. Fear spread through me, my penis spasmed a little but nothing came out thankfully.

    All I could think of was I had a body orgasm or maybe mental orgasm is better term. I was wiped out. Legs were shaking and my body tingles buzzed. It felt so good NOT to cum.

    Don’t be afraid if letting someone else run your show. it is worth it.

  17. little m Says:

    I am not sure if the reward is better than the denial…..

    I am very conflicted

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 195 other followers

%d bloggers like this: