Small Penis Humiliation: From Steve’s Wife

Small Gift - Copy

I mentioned awhile back that I would ask my wife to contribute to the discussion of small penis humiliation. Well, she finally had a chance to reflect on it and add her thoughts and ideas to the subject. Enjoy!


Hi there, I’m Steve’s wife and yes, I’m aware of his blog and I find it interesting. He asked me if I would like to “contribute” my opinion on this topic even though he knew my opinion would be different than most of the other female contributors on here. He encouraged me to contribute anyway because he said there may be other women out there who might feel the way I do, so I decided to share my thoughts.

One of the common themes that run through these blog articles and comments is that many women are unsatisfied with their husband’s penis size. Either their husbands are too small, or maybe they are too big down there or maybe some women just have a big cock preference. Whatever the case, there seems to be a lot of women who are sexually frustrated and unsatisfied with their husbands size and/or performance. I may be different from most women on here because to me, cock size has never been that big of a deal. I honestly don’t care what the “world average” is because it doesn’t matter to me. Does my husband Steve have a small penis? Yes. But, I think I’m small down there too, which is why I think we are perfectly matched. All I know is, my husband satisfies me in bed and yes, I do have orgasms and plenty of them! But, does this topic intrigue me? Yes! It interests me because I’m always interested in learning about sexually related issues and what people think and what turns them on, but I’m particularly interested in this topic because I know it turns my husband on.

Our “journey” to where we are now though is interesting in itself. Like a lot of couples, after several years of marriage, our sex life had become pretty routine and predictable. We call it our vanilla/maintenance sex period. Although we are both very imaginative and are willing to try almost anything, we, like many couples who have been married a long time found ourselves doing the same thing, the same way every time and our sex life had become stagnant for both of us, but we couldn’t seem to break out of the rut.

Along the way, Steve was insecure about his small cock, and had been in a number of relationships with several women before me who had told him his penis was too small to satisfy them. Even though I tried to reassure him that he was perfect for me, I know he wondered deep down whether he was or not.

And then a couple of years ago, he accepted the fact he had a small penis! That was a major turning point for him. In reality, I think it takes a lot of strength for any of us to look in our sexual mirror and face any kind of perceived flaw or inadequacy, and then accept it, and embrace the implications. I know he felt a sense of relief after going through his evolution and no longer having to pretend to be someone he wasn’t.

What he asked for next was surprising to me, but I think it all had to do with his evolution of acceptance. He confessed to me that it would really turn him on if I told him he had a small dick! I have to say I’m glad he felt safe in admitting this to me, and I know it took some courage on his part to confess to me he wanted this. But it was a little hard for me at first because like I said, I was never fixated on his size and I was happy and very content with him sexually. But what I learned was it was VERY exciting to him for a couple of reasons. First, it excited him because I know he was eroticizing what had always been a negative feeling for him. By my acknowledging that he had a little penis was validating his reality. Secondly, it’s one thing for a guy to know he’s small and accept it, but it has a much more powerful effect on him when his wife acknowledges it too. In any event, the important thing was, I realized that it really, really turned him on! So, I have tried to provide small penis humiliation for him, but I have to admit, I know I probably don’t do it enough.

It was around this time when he brought up the idea of “competing” for me like he did when we were dating. We talked about sperm competition and how males like to compete for their women, and our relationship began to change. He started treating me differently and better. I became the sole focus of his attention, and he began referring to me as his “hot wife.” I think the motivator for my husband was he knew he couldn’t compete with other, more well-endowed males, so he wanted to compensate for his small cock by being a better and more attentive husband. Though I didn’t consider him to be disadvantaged in that way, I have to confess I did like the renewed focus on our relationship and the fact I was getting more out of it.

We have also dabbled in cuckolding as a fantasy. I know he would love for me to have sex with a guy who has a big cock, but like a lot of women who have commented on here, that’s probably not happening. What we have done instead is enjoy aspects of it as a fantasy. Read his article: Creating a Cuckolding Fantasy World for some ideas, it can be fun!

So, what are some of the things I have done or said that turn him on? Hmm, well I have to admit, I haven’t been as creative as some of the women on here, and I can probably add some of the ideas provided in this thread, but I have done/said a few things that I know have turned him are, for example:

1. I remind him as frequently as I can that he has a small or little dick. He also loves it when I refer to him as a cuckold, or MY cuckold. For him, I think it just goes back to the taboo – wives aren’t supposed to say such things.

2. We have two dildos, both of which are much larger than Steve is. They are made of cyberskin, vibrate and look very realistic. We have even given them names – Eddy and Johnny after two well-endowed guys we have seen in video clips. My favourite is Eddy. Whenever I play with Eddy, I know Steve is very excited.

3. Sometimes when we are in bed, I shock him and give Eddy a blowjob, which really, really turns him on. He has also confessed that the feeling of taking me after Eddy is amazing. I like it to, and have to admit using a larger dildo is a lot of fun.

4. Of course he just loves it whenever I compare either Eddy or Johnny to his smaller penis. When I openly acknowledge how much longer and thicker they are, it really turns him on. It’s the same thing when we watch an X-rated video, he gets really, really turned on when I compare their cocks to his.

5. He loves it when I call or text him and tell him I’m thinking about “Eddy.” It keeps him on edge and perpetually horny and aroused.

6. One day when he was working from home I snuck into his office and placed “Johnny” next to his computer. He had to spend all day looking at that big dick just wondering what I was thinking. Did I place it there to remind him how small he was by comparison? Or, was I really fantasizing about a dick that big? It turned out to be a full day of small penis humiliation fun for him and he loved the fact that I did it! :)

7. Along the same lines, our signal to each other than we are feeling frisky and want to have sex that night is to set our large dildo, Johnny out in plain view. Whether he sits it out or I do, it’s equally humiliating for him. It’s an ongoing visual reminder for him that he has a little penis.

8. He just loves it when I challenge his manhood sexually. I will say things that might be construed as mean, but really turn him on for example, “Are you man enough to satisfy me?” Or, “Do you really think you can satisfy my pussy with that little dick?” One time when we were having sex and he was all the way in, I whispered into his ear, “Go deeper, go much, much deeper.” He told me later hearing that was a real turn on because what he was hearing was I wanted more cock than he could provide.

9. On another occasion, we were in bed fooling around and he wasn’t hard yet, and I did something that was uncharacteristic for me, I got impatient with him, but I think even that really turned him on. And then I said, “Well, if you can’t satisfy me, I know who can,” and I reached for Eddy, and to my amazement at the mere sight of his bigger “competitor,” Steve’s little cock got rock hard immediately. It was amazing, and was tangible proof to me just how excited he really was.

10. As others have said, he loves it when I flirt with men or they flirt with me and I make sure to always tell him when it happens.

11. Before I went away for a weekend away with my girlfriends, Steve said, “Don’t tell them anything we talked about ok?” I looked at him with a straight face and said, “Oh, you mean you don’t want me to tell them you’re a cuckold?” I know it turned me on just referring to him as a cuckold!

12. Sometimes when I’m giving him a blow job, I will stop and look up at him smiling and say “I love sucking your LITTLE dick!” He loves that.

13. One time we were discussing sex positions, and I confessed to him that there were some positions that wouldn’t work for us because of his small size. It’s true, but it really turned him on because I openly admitted it.

14. When Steve was on a business trip one time, I confessed to him over the phone that Eddy had pleasured me while he was gone. He was very excited.

15. I was at work one day and they had a program on the radio discussing “small penis” issues, and I called him up so he could listen to it. I think he was turned on because I was listening to it, and also that I knew it applied to him!

So, those are just some of the things I have said and done that I know turn him on.

When I think about this, what it really boils down to is, for me to create and perpetuate a little seed of doubt in my husband’s mind. What I have learned is it is most effectively done in two related ways. First, by reminding him frequently that he doesn’t quite measure up keeps him continually on edge and horny. Secondly, saying things like that coupled with the introduction of a better-endowed competitor, like my Eddy, takes him completely over the edge. Even though we are only playing in the fantasy world, the key is to make it as realistic as possible. I know I could probably even ratchet up the excitement to a whole new level. Since I have always told my husband that size really doesn’t matter, I think it would be suddenly shocking yet exciting for him if I even hinted that maybe size really did matter.  In any event, it’s the combination of the verbal with the visual that is the ideal combination. He wants to be challenged and he wants to have to compete for me, and I know I can provide that for him. I agree with what a couple of women have already said on here, whatever you do, make sure you agree on it as a couple, and have FUN!

Lastly, as a woman, do I see any tangible benefits in this? Yes definitely, and I would add it’s no coincidence! These benefits are directly related to keeping my husband on edge. As I said, Steve pays more attention to me now. He’s much more agreeable and will do things with me just because I want to do them. He takes me on dates, something he had gotten out of the habit doing. He’s calmer and more attentive and focused on me and my needs. He considers me his “Hot Wife,” and although I don’t think of myself in that way, I’m happy he does. So yes, there are definitely benefits. What woman wouldn’t want that? And, though all of this is fun, I still wouldn’t trade my husband in for anyone – big dick or not!

18 Responses to “Small Penis Humiliation: From Steve’s Wife”

  1. Says:

    a relationship is not just about a dick,it includes lots of things such as emotional intimacy, the feeling of being loved also counts!

    • play613796 Says:,

      Of course, and I think my wife was implying that when she said she wouldn’t trade me in for another guy even if he did have a larger cock. All of the ideas presented here are just that – ideas for enhancing a relationship. A good relationship not only involves emotional intimacy and the feeling of being loved, but also good communication and complete sexual honesty. Fortunately for me, I feel like my wife and I have all of those things which allowed me to express my desire for small penis humiliation, and her willingness to provide it for me all within the context of a good, healthy loving relationship.


  2. Tim Says:

    Way to go and thank your for telling us all…..Sounds like this is me and my new partner…thank you for giving me and my partner ideas…

    • play613796 Says:

      Hi Tim,

      Thank you for the kind comments and Welcome to our Blog. Is small penis humiliation something you crave and is your wife willing to provide it?


  3. Cassie Says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your perspective! I am currently in a long distance relationship and my boyfriend sent me a portion of Steve’s blog post to try and help me understand that he craves for me to make comments on his size. Not until I tracked down this blog for myself and read the entire blog did I have an understanding that this is something that is constant.. not just an occasional want/need. Since we have yet to meet in person I have struggled with making jokes at appropriate times or even thinking of things to say. I have found all of your information to be very helpful and I am sure that this info is going to help us to establish an open dialogue about his “short comings” and hopefully we can build a strong relationship that is satisfying for us both. I look forward to reading more and would welcome any comments or suggestions anyone has to share. This is all VERY new to me so I am really trying to develop a better understanding. Thanks again!

    • play613796 Says:

      Hi Cassie,

      Welcome to the Blog, and thank you for your comments! I will be posting much more on the subject, but feel free to ask questions too. You can ask them here, or if you would like to contact us directly, you can do that too. Our email address is: Thanks again for your post!


  4. Multifaceted Moi Says:

    I really enjoyed reading another woman’s perspective on SPH or SP play. I know, in the beginning of my journey, it was difficult for me to understand why anyone would want to be humiliated about something so personal, something they couldn’t change even if they wanted to, but I came to see it much the same way you do in that it’s something that turns them on, so the humiliation, although not something I would choose to experience, is something the man enjoys. Who am I to deny my partner that joy?

    Thank you for sharing!

    ☿ Multifaceted Moi ☿

    1-888-464-3646 extension 04785634

  5. SteveB Says:

    Here is what one Long Island Sex Therapist states about SPH: “This is a “blood sport. ” Men and women humiliate other men about penis size to achieve a sense of power, dominance and control and the other’s expense. When men do this, it is a poor adaptive solution to compensate for their sense of inadequacy. When women giggle and ridicule a man for a small penis, the motive is typically “I have a bigger penis than you”…. that is, I also have more power and control in the world than you. Men and women who engage in this verbal mud slinging, as a general rule, feel that they haven’t accomplished a sense of self-agency, an internalized belief in their own competence. Yes, it is hurtful to the person bullied and very enlightening about the psychic circumstances of the bully”. This was a response to my question of, “why do men and women humiliate men for having a small penis?”. You can view the thread at this link, I thought it was interesting that she mentioned that the psychological issues are with the bully and I fully concur. Again, just presenting the other side of the equation and not trying to cause trouble but maintain a balanced perspective. I hope on one is offended.

    • play613796 Says:

      Hi Steve,

      The purpose of this blog is to exhange information and to present all views so there is certainly no need to apologize. While many of us here do enjoy SPH and don’t consider it a “blood sport,” some visitors may not enjoy it, but one thing I I think we can all agree on is, it should only be done in a consensual arrangement. Bullying someone or forcing what you like on someone else is not exactly very erotic. It’s unfortunate that some resort to “bullying” in the first place, but I guess that’s a sign of the times we live in.


      • SteveB Says:

        I agree with you Steve and I do not intend to harass you with my last post but rather just to provide you with another woman’s perspective. The funny thing I just don’t believe any women who tells me size does not matter even the sex therapist I mentioned above. I think they just tell people like me so we will feel better but I believe a lack of sincerity is an insult. That is all I am saying. Maybe I need a little work on this but I am sure you understand my skepticism. Thanks for not lashing out.

  6. A Woman’s Guide: How to Provide Small Penis Teasing to Your Husband | lovesmallpenis Says:

    […] Small Penis Humiliation: From Steve’s Wife:  January 2, 2013 […]

  7. Chris Says:

    After Steve’s posting on the subject on July 12, 2013, I just had to read this. Delicious. You live a charmed life as a couple, and have charmed my mind with your words.

    • play613796 Says:

      Thank you Chris! I’m fortunate to have a wife that I felt “safe” in sharing my innermost thoughts and fantasies with, without fear of reprisal or being shut down. She let me open the door and I took great care to explain as best I could what turned me on and why. Being the astute observer and open-minded person she is, she quickly understood why I wanted it, how it affected me and was also able to see the value of it for her and the relationship in general. Not all women are that open minded!

  8. jim Says:

    Thank you “Steve’s wife” (I did not see your name). I am slowly making my way through this blog which I only recently joined. I have not seen anything quite like it before. I related to a lot of your post but I think the part that most struck me was the power of creating or perpetuating that “seed of doubt”. You reflected that you felt that it resulted in a more agreeable guy. That has been precisely my experience with several women – one or two especially but generally that has been the most compelling or ultimate result. When women have mentioned my small size or reflected on more endowed men it has made me want to “work harder” for her. This has been a bit subconscious until now. I find myself being extremely agreeable to most of her requests and feeling like I better or need to please her somehow. It’s like a hot trigger if a woman simply reflects even casually on how some guy “must be really big”. There’s this subtle but deep feeling of (well that’s not me and she is clearly refection on or interested in that – what can I do?). Quite literally this can translate into her picking the movie, the restaurant or getting the back rub. It is a strong feeling anyway but even stronger if her comments or thoughts somehow indicate that “most men are larger” meaning it’s not that a few men are large and most are closer to my size but the opposite – that most men are at least average and then there are some who are large and I am clearly of the minority and noticeably small. It really triggers me and make me have a feeling of I better “do things for her”. What surprised me about your comments is that you are aware of how it can make a man (Steve in your case) become agreeable etc. I wonder of the women who “tease” how many have that as an aspect or see that as an aspect of the dynamic?

    • play613796 Says:

      Hi Jim,

      Thank you for the compliments on our blog. We have a lot of fun with it, and we enjoy communicating with others why we enjoy the things we do. I know you are seeking comments on the power dynamics from women, and I will hope other women will provide their take on this for you in the near future. I know my wife intends to respond to your comments about the “power shift” as time allows. As she may have stated elsewhere, due to her busy schedule, she does not post or comment as frequently as I do, so please bear with her. Also, as an FYI, she goes by “1Hotwife” for privacy purposes.

      Along these lines, we are also going to be running companion articles on the need to compensate for having a small penis, and these articles may also address some of your comments above, so stay tuned.

  9. AK Says:

    Wow….your husband is lucky to have a wife like you… Doing small penis humiliation and still showering love…the best a man can get

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