Why Men Want Small Penis Humiliation
Women who are married to, or in a relationship with men who are small-endowed may have stumbled upon the term Small Penis Humiliation or its acronym (SPH) but have no idea what it is or why it’s appealing to so many lesser endowed men. So, what is small penis humiliation? Small penis humiliation is loosely defined as a man who gains sexual arousal when his wife or girlfriend makes derogatory comments about the size of his penis (length and/or girth) and his inability to satisfy his woman sexually and/or being compared unfavorably to other men who are better-endowed.
At the outset, let’s draw an important and clear distinction between small penis humiliation and what I prefer to call small penis teasing/sexual honesty. If you do any research on small penis humiliation, you will undoubtedly find a whole array of things it might include, some of which are very extreme. Like all fetishes there are healthy and less healthy versions. But, this explanation should help to clarify why small penis humiliation has such a negative connotation to it.
Let’s look first at small penis teasing/sexual honesty. Think about it this way. If your man has a small penis and you both know it, is it humiliating to tell him he is small? The answer is no, not at all, it’s the truth. How can it be humiliating to tell someone the truth? It might taboo to tell him that, and it might not even be politically correct, but if it excites him, there is nothing wrong with telling him the truth. Similarly, if you are watching an adult movie and you see a man who is much better endowed than your husband, is it humiliating to tell him that? Not if it’s true. Or, what if you need or simply want to include a larger dildo in your lovemaking. Is that humiliating for your husband? Not if you have good sexual honesty and communication it isn’t.
Now, let’s look at the extremes of small penis humiliation. Instead of calling his penis small or little, what if you told him it resembled a clit more than a penis is that humiliating? Yes, that’s probably over the top. What if you wanted him to wear panties is that humiliating and degrading? Yes. Is making your man parade nude in front of your girlfriends exposing his small penis humiliating? Yes of course. Is denying him sex because he is too small to satisfy you humiliating? Yes. These are all examples of more extreme forms of small penis humiliation that could rightly be considered emasculating and humiliating. Still, some men are even drawn to these extremes.
There are very distinct differences between the two explanations provided above. This article will focus on small penis teasing/sexual honesty, and is not an endorsement of it, but will attempt to explain why it holds such a powerful appeal for so many small endowed men. In fact, it should also be pointed out that there are even some men of average and even above average endowments who enjoy small penis humiliation.
Men who are small endowed usually fall into one of three categories. The first is the man who knows he is small but it really hasn’t affected him in any negative way. He may even be in a relationship with a woman who doesn’t care about penis size either and so the issue has never even been brought up. The second category is the man who is well aware of his lack of penis size but he keeps it to himself because he is embarrassed to admit it and he harbors anger and resentment at being shortchanged. He would never admit to his wife that he doesn’t measure up, and would be utterly paralyzed if she called him out on it. The third category is the man who has not only come to grips with the fact they are small; but they also eroticize about it obsessively, and will willingly acknowledge their shortcomings to their partners. Many men in this category crave small penis humiliation and will proactively seek it out.
Similarly, women married to men who are lesser endowed also fall into one of three categories. Like the first category above, some women honestly don’t care about penis size. They may be simply be attracted by the characteristics of their lover. They may even be sexually content, so penis size for is basically irrelevant to them and is a non-issue. Women in the second category definitely know their man is undersized, and his lack of size can be a problem. She may be sexually frustrated at times and resort to masturbation and/or secretly use dildos to achieve orgasm. Depending on the type of small endowed man she is married to, she may keep her sexual frustrations to herself, but she is nonetheless well aware of them. Women in the third category are well aware their husbands do not possess a full-sized penis. But, what sets women in this category apart from the others is that they will openly acknowledge it to their husbands and may even be proactive looking for alternative ways to achieve sexual satisfaction including openly using dildos, strap-on cocks or other sex toys. The other important thing that sets them (and they not even realize it) is just having knowledge that their husbands don’t measure up and acknowledging it openly gives them a lot of power in the relationship. Just by the nature of their sexual honesty, they are already providing their husbands with small penis humiliation – probably without even understanding what it is.
Understanding the root causes of small penis humiliation
Let’s face it there is little argument that the penis is one of the most important parts of the male body. Men are obsessed with their penises, and we live in a society that is fixated and fascinated by penis size. Many ancient cultures worshipped large phallic symbols and men with large penises were to be admired and complimented for it. They are often the alpha, aggressive dominant male that many women secretly (or openly) desire. Men with large cocks are appealing to women because they exude sexual confidence and represent virility and masculinity.
All of this is not lost on men. When men realize they do not measure up in the penis department it can have a profound impact on them psychologically. This is ground zero for the small penis humiliation many men find to be erotic and appealing. So how does it all begin?
Discovering the truth
- Visual Comparisons: From an early age, males become acutely aware of size differences. While the size difference may be insignificant at first, over time the disparity in size widens and is visibly noticeable. Even though these visual comparisons are usually based solely on the comparison of flaccid penises which isn’t a true indicator of size, the differences are still obvious. This continues into adult hood, where even going to the gym can be an intimidating experience for a man who is underdeveloped. Punctuating this embarrassment are those occasions when he catches a glimpse of a man who is supremely well-endowed – a man whose penis may be two or three times his size. The underdeveloped man will feel completely overmatched. Visual comparisons continue throughout his life and serve as an ongoing and daily reminder he doesn’t measure up.
- Public Media: Penis size, once a taboo subject in the media is now becoming main stream. TV shows like Ally McBeal and Sex in the City have had episodes where women openly extolled the virtues, indeed even their preferences for well-endowed men. It’s also not uncommon to be watching TV late at night and an infomercial on penis enlargement comes on, usually including interviews with women who smile and sheepishly admit that yes, size does matter.
- Verbal Comments: Early on the locker room and shower can become a den of humiliation for the underdeveloped young man. It’s not uncommon for other boys to point out who has a small or the smallest penis. Being teased, taunted and humiliated becomes a daily occurrence for many.
- Previous Sexual Experiences: Relationships with girlfriends, women or wives along the way will often validate the feelings of the small endowed man that size does matter. If any of the women he has had sexual relationships with gave him any indication that his penis size was too small, inadequate or they were left unfulfilled it will have a profound and permanent impact on him. And, if any of the women in his life have taken more well-endowed lovers during the relationship, it will further serve to validate what he already knows – he doesn’t measure up.
The Watershed Moment
The vast majority of small endowed men have experienced many if not all of the above examples at one time or another. And the more experiences they have had, the more a feeling of sexual inadequacy there will be. It tends to have a cumulative effect. They have gone through being angry about being shortchanged to being envious of larger, better endowed men, but at some point in their lives there is a watershed moment that leads them to acceptance of their small endowment. One man explained it this way. “I’m 6’3 and am generally well built except for my small penis which barely measures 4” when fully erect. One time when I was 30 years old I went to a beach by myself to catch some sun and swim. When dusk approached I realized the beach was deserted and I went into the public changing room to shower. While I was washing my hair I could hear someone else enter the room and was using the shower next to me. When I opened my eyes, my jaw almost hit the floor. Standing next to me was a young guy probably in his late teens who was only about 5’7” tall with a slender build, but what caught my attention was he had one of the largest flaccid penises I had ever seen. It had to be close to 7” long just dangling soft between his legs. And it wasn’t just long, it was also incredibly thick. I had seen other large cocks before, but there was something different this time. It was like a light bulb went on in my head. For the first time, I acknowledged to myself that this guy was sexually superior to me and there was nothing I could do about it. His cock wasn’t just a little bit bigger than mine, it completely dwarfed mine and I felt overwhelmed by his enormous cock. It was at that moment that I acknowledged to myself that I had a very small penis, but what really surprised me was what happened next. I felt myself becoming very aroused. To be clear, I wasn’t turned on by his large penis in a sexual way at all, instead, I realized I was VERY turned on by the fact that mine was so much smaller. There was something very humiliating, yet incredibly exciting about the amazing size difference. From that moment on I craved small penis humiliation.”
However they come to the realization, eventually, many underdeveloped men will resign themselves to the fact their penis is small. Self-acceptance is a big step for the man who possesses an undersized penis, and it’s a step some men sadly will never reach. But, if they do acquiesce and accept it, they often times find themselves drawn to small penis humiliation. Why? Because they have learned to accept what has always been a negative feeling about their small cocks and now have transformed it into a very powerful and erotic experience. This is why small penis humiliation is so exciting for them.
Once a man with a small cock accepts it, gone is the anger and embarrassment over having a small one. That anger and embarrassment is often permanently replaced with an obsessive need for small penis humiliation. Some of the things men who have made this transformation will do include:
- Penis Size Websites: Since flaccid comparisons of cock size are not always a true indicator of size, he will seek out websites of men with fully aroused cocks to do a visual size comparison. Initially he will check out porn sites, but since almost all porn stars are well-endowed, he will soon visit amateur sites to see if the large size discrepancy exits and he will find out that it does.
- The Gym: Once a thoroughly humiliating and intimidating experience, the man with the little penis now finds that going to the gym is an exhilarating and thoroughly humiliating thing to do. He can’t help notice walking through the locker room and shower how other men dwarf his mini-member.
- Chat rooms: He will often frequent chat rooms to get an “honest” opinion from women concerning penis size. He will look for opportunities to tell other women his size to get their reaction. Comments like, “OMG, that’s small,” or “Are you kidding me, your cock is really that small?” really excite the man with the small penis and he will often masturbate hearing the ‘truth” from other women.
- Cuckolding Websites: He will discover the world of cuckolding both intrigues and excites him. He will begin fantasizing about his wife taking on a lover who has a bigger cock believing she is actually entitled to it. He will have intense orgasms masturbating to the idea.
- Small Penis Humiliation Websites: He will also begin visiting these websites out of curiosity and will also be very turned on by them. He will begin to crave it in his real life.
When asked why men are turned on by small penis humiliation, one woman explained it this way:
“I think they get off on it because they know they deserve it! They know they can’t satisfy a woman and they probably know or suspect their wives are already fucking other men with big dicks or would like to. Sorry guys, despite what you may have heard, penis size really does matter.”
For men with small cocks, the above statement is masturbation fodder, because true or not, most men believe it to be true.
Does Your Husband Want Small Penis Humiliation?
If you’re not sure if your husband wants small penis humiliation, start by discussing the topic of penis size with him openly and honestly and judge his reaction. If he develops an instant boner, you have your answer. Hard cocks don’t lie. Even if you have done it before bring a ruler and tape measure to bed. Measure his fully aroused cock both the length and thickness. It would also be good for you to have a definition of what average is before you measure him. There are all kinds of statistics of penis size available on the Internet – some good, some not so good. Whatever you decide is average tell him before you measure him and ask him point blank if he is small, average or large. Chances are, when he sees you with ruler in hand he will confess to you that he is small – and it may be the first time he has ever acknowledged it to you. After you measure him, if he is small, don’t beat around the bush, tell him he IS small, and then ask him the following questions:
- Does it excite you that I know you have a little dick?
- Does it turn you on when I tell you have a little dick?
- Do you feel the need to try harder to compensate for your small dick size?
- What does it feel like to be in a locker room around other guys with full-sized cocks?
If he is turned on by any or all of the above, ask him point blank if he would like small penis humiliation. Odds are he will say yes without hesitation.
It’s important for women to remember this. In reality, it takes strength to face any kind of inadequacy, to accept it, and to embrace the implications. It’s far better to accept who you are than to live in constant state of denial of your perceived flaws. Your husband believes he is sexually inferior compared to other men and he has accepted it but is also very turned on by it. Believe it or not he will also be excited that you know it too. Once you openly acknowledge your husband’s shortcomings, he will even feel relief because he no longer has to pretend he is some “big” stud when you both know he isn’t. Sexual honesty is very powerful indeed.
Providing Your Husband With Small Penis Humiliation:
Small penis humiliation is actually more common than most know and is something that is not damaging as long as both participants take it for what it is — a form of role playing and sexual teasing by consensual adults to heighten sexual pleasure. My advice to men who desire this is to be open and honest with your lover even if it’s a little embarrassing. My advice to women is, you now have a better understanding what it is and why it appeals to your man, so, as long as you are comfortable providing it for him, you should consider doing so. Here are some examples of more mild forms of small penis humiliation you could engage in:
- Know the terminology: Some women draw a distinction between a cock and a penis. A cock is big and a penis is small. Some women don’t like the word penis because they think it’s too clinical and if you are one of them then substitute the word dick instead, but don’t refer to his mini-member as a cock. From now on when you talk about his penis, make sure you always preface that word with an appropriate adjective. Some descriptors that come to mind include: small, very small, little, underdeveloped, etc. Whatever trips your trigger will work, just remember, you should openly and frequently acknowledge his lack of manhood. If you have refrained from being honest before it will really turn him on to hear the truth. Women married to men who are small endowed are often hesitant to bring up the issue of his penis size for a variety of reasons but just remember, your husband not only wants it, he craves it. For many small endowed men the taboo act of his woman actually telling him his penis is small is thrilling precisely because it is not a socially accepted thing to do.
- Your previous lovers cocks: If you have gotten this far, it’s now safe for you to compare him to your former lovers. How much larger were their cocks? What did the bigger ones feel like? Was it more filling and did the deeper penetration excite you? Be as graphic as possible, and if the bigger ones were more pleasurable, tell him.
- Dildo comparison: If you don’t own a dildo, go out and buy one, it doesn’t have to be huge, just noticeably larger than your husband. The ones that look and feel like the real thing are best because it represents competition for him. The next time you are in bed take it out and compare it to his much smaller erection. He has probably already done this secretly, but having you do it will definitely send him into orbit. Describe the visual difference to him. Then describe the physical difference to him as well. If it’s the size of a former lover, tell him. Next, put him on the spot. With the dildo still next to his erect cock, ask him how it feels to be so small by comparison.
- Compensation for a Small Penis: Since you now have a “new” relationship, take the first opportunity you have to lovingly explain to your husband that your relationship requires a new kind of sexual honesty. Tell him you are no longer just going to accept his “shortcomings” as you have in the past. Ask him directly how he plans to compensate for his lack of manhood in the bedroom. Hopefully, your husband will respond by showing his eagerness and willingness to become a master at oral sex, perhaps supplement is lack of size by using more sex toys, etc. If there is something specific you want, tell him. But, don’t let him off the hook without providing you with a plan.
- Small Penis Sex Positions: One of the biggest frustrations of women married to men with little dicks is their inability to satisfy them during intercourse. There may be a variety of reasons why this is the case, but it can sometimes be something as simple as traditional sex positions are ineffective for underdeveloped men. So, if your husband is too small to satisfy you in say the missionary position for example, don’t just accept it, be straight forward and tell him, and tell him why – his dick is too small to satisfy you in that position. Be firm with your husband and let him know there are three kinds of sex. There is big cock sex, regular sex, and then there is small penis sex. The first two require a full sized cock, something he doesn’t have, so he needs to concentrate on small penis sex. Be adamant, and insist he do some research to find small penis sex positions. There are numerous positions designed to provide maximum penetration for the small penis. Besides, sex will be much more pleasurable for both of you anyway. So start referring to sex with your husband as small penis sex.
- Sex Video Comparisons: If you don’t watch any porno or sex videos, consider taking the initiative and suggesting it. And by all means, don’t be bashful to openly acknowledge those cocks you find attractive or large. Men honestly want to know what you think of other men’s cocks. And tell them how big you think it is and how your husband compares. For example, you might say ”OMG, his cock is huge, it must be 9 inches long and it’s so thick, he’s more than twice your size. Now that’s a man-sized cock!” Comments like that will drive your man wild and will probably give him a hard little boner. Remember, they want to be reminded they don’t measure up, so take every opportunity to remind them. Many small endowed men will even take the initiative and suggest watching videos with a similar purpose in mind. Here is what one small endowed man said:
I often suggest we watch porno movies with supremely endowed men. This makes my dick look even smaller in comparison and then I fantasize about my little dick next to his and how my wife is comparing us.
Again, it’s ok if he suggests it, but for you to be proactive and suggest it will really send him over the edge.
- His “Little Secret”: Have you ever told anyone in confidence (like your girlfriends) that your husband is lacking in the penis department? If so, have you told him this? If not, why not? He would probably be more excited than you can imagine. Ask him this question, “Honey, would you be terribly upset if I ever told someone that you had a little dick?” See what his reaction is. It would probably make his little dick squirm. You don’t even have to do it, but just planting a seed that you have thought about it or might do it would probably turn him on. Not surprisingly, many small endowed men often fantasize about being “outed” for having a small dick. They may or may not want it to happen in real life, but they think about it constantly.
- Small Condom Sex: OK, time for some fun. Do you and your partner ever have sex with condoms? If not, tell your partner you would like to spice things up a little bit and have him use a condom. Demonstrate your knowledge of the subject by reminding him that there is no way he could fit into a regular condom and so he will need to look specifically for small or extra small condoms. You can even help educate him by telling him that the smaller condoms are usually described with code words like “closer fit” “snug” or “snugger fitting” so as not to embarrass smaller endowed men like him. If he agrees, do not let him order them online, but rather suggest he go to a pharmacy or adult store to get them. You can send him on his way, or, to really provide a titillating experience you can go with him. If you go with him, you can approach it in one of two ways. You can tell him he has to go to the clerk and ask for small or extra small condoms. If the clerk is a male he will be really embarrassed, and if it’s a female, he will be even more embarrassed. But the ultimate embarrassment for him is if it’s a female clerk, and you tell him to stand by while you go up to her and say something like, “We’re looking for small or extra small condoms. My husband is really small down there if you know what I mean?” Can you imagine how humiliating this would be for him? But, secretly he’ll probably love it!
- Penis Enhancements: The same principle applies for penis enhancements such as penis extensions and strap on cocks. This could be a lot of fun too because there is no way he could walk out of an adult store without everyone knowing he has a little dick. Make it even more fun and give him the following instructions. “Honey, I want you to find a female clerk because she will understand what I need. I want you to be honest with her and tell her you only have 4 inches and your wife would like for you to get a penis extension that provides more thickness and is at least 3 inches longer.” If he doesn’t come on himself when you say that he just might if he has to say that to a female clerk!
These are just a few examples of things you can do or say to provide your husband with the small penis humiliation/teasing that he so desperately wants and needs. There are probably many other ideas and you are really only limited by your imagination. One woman who provides her husband with small penis humiliation described it this way, “I give my husband small penis humiliation because it turns him on. The fact it turns him on turns me on as well and that’s why I enjoy doing it.”
Hopefully this has provided you with a better understanding of the small penis humiliation fetish. We all have our individual kinks, fetishes and fantasies. As long as they don’t involve hurting someone, doing something illegal and it’s between consenting adults what’s wrong with it? Talk with your husband and explore his fantasies as well as yours.