Small Penis Sexual Honesty Can Be a Relationship Game Changer

SPT - 7 - Copy

This is probably an over generalization, but I believe there are three types of men that have small penises.  (1)  Those that are angry about it and often times are jealous and very insecure about it.  (2)  Those that know they are small, and are perfectly ok with it, but are just not into talking about it.  (3) Those of us that are small and know it, and nothing turns us on more than talking about it, sexualizing it and eroticizing about it.

This article is offered to women who are in relationships with men that have small penises, who are in category # 3, and you may have been approached by your partner wanting you to openly acknowledge his shortcomings.  On the surface, this may seem like an odd request to you, but, if he has fully accepted his small penis, nothing will turn him on more than your simple acknowledgement of it.  I can’t stress enough how important it is for him to have you validate this “truth” to him.  By doing so, it can have a profound and positive effect on your relationship in ways, you may not have ever considered.

Unfortunately, many couples cannot, or will not have an open and honest discussion about male penis size and the effect it has on their relationships.  Despite the more enlightened times we live in, penis size is still largely a “taboo” and forbidden subject in relationships.  It is therefore the “elephant” in the room in far too many relationships.

But, for guys who have accepted their small penis, we often times want to bring the topic up with our wives/partners.   We want to “sexualize” and celebrate our small penis and are often enthusiastic and eager to talk about it.  But if we do muster up the courage to discuss it, it’s not always received in the way we wish it had been.  There are several reasons why this might be the case.  Here are some of the typical reasons women have a problem acknowledging their partners small penis size:

  • The woman doesn’t want to give the impression that she is disappointed in our penis size and/or performance in the bedroom. She may simply not want to do or say anything that may reflect negatively on our “manhood.”
  • She may also look at the whole “package” of the attributes we possess. For example, we are a (good provider, good husband, father, etc.) and in the hierarchy of what’s important to her, it may just not be that important.   This is sometimes hard for guys who crave small penis acceptance and SPT, but the reality is, this is how some women think.
  • Women generally also don’t think in “inches.” You may be 4.8,” or 5.3” and the reality is your wife/partner probably doesn’t even care. To be honest, I know there are some women who don’t even know their husband’s penis size.
  • Lastly, and this is important, there is a possibility that our wife/partner may be very sexually satisfied and content with us regardless of our penis size.

So, is it really any surprise why many of our wives/partners are reluctant to acknowledge our small penises?   But, what these women don’t understand is the title of this article, “Small Penis Sexual Honesty can be a Relationship Game Changer,” is true and within their grasp.   What it takes for this to happen is for a woman to become “enlightened.”  You become enlightened by understanding exactly what’s going on in the small penis male mind, and then tapping into it in a way that will turn him on like nothing else you have ever experienced.  If you learn to do this, you might be very surprised and pleased about a new and exciting direction your relationship can take.

My wife and I have heard from a lot of men who peruse this blog and they tell us that their wives either (a) don’t get it, or (b) refuse to acknowledge the obvious.  The comment my wife usually makes when she hears this is, “Why would a woman not want to give her partner what he clearly wants, and is so easily provided?  As a woman, I want to know what turns my husband on so I can provide it.  If I don’t know what turns him on, I can never give it to him.”  I wish more women thought this way, and she’s right, it is so easy to do.  The same can be said for me too, I always want to know what turns my wife on so I can provide it for her too.

If you’re a woman who is reading this and your partner has requested that you acknowledge his small penis, then it’s pretty obvious that he is very comfortable being small and he wants to sexualize it.  That is not a bad thing, in fact, for a lot of small endowed men, when they discover that they desire this, it is often an epiphany for them because they are very comfortable being small and they just want to talk about it.  They know you are settling for less, but they are eager to embrace this sexual honesty and internal truth, and when a woman “gets this” it can be a relationship game changer.

I have had the pleasure recently of communicating with one of our “enlightened” female members about this very subject.  Her husband has a small penis, and he expressed his desire for SPT to her.  She explained her response this way:  “I’m gratified by the fact that my partner is willing to show this vulnerability and to share a fetish which is potentially embarrassing with me. It is a demonstration of his love and trust. For my partner instead it’s become important because it allows him to face his own fears and accept that these fears are as much a part of him as all his moments of strength and resolution. In fact, I perceive him as stronger and more manly because of this.”  When it comes specifically to providing SPT to her partner she said, “I really love it, because it deepens intimacy, creates vulnerability and brings a touch of humor to sex.”  I find her openness about this topic refreshing, and I wish more women understood the potential of having this this level of sexual honesty and experiencing the positive impact it can have on a relationship.

So, you are a woman and your partner has said he desires, indeed he craves for you to acknowledge his small penis.  Maybe you are somewhat open to the idea, but have no clue of where to start.  Well, here are a few ideas of how you can broach the subject with him that will no doubt turn him on, and can potentially begin changing your relationship in a more positive direction at the same time:

  • Affirmation: This is the perfect place to start. There is nothing that will get his attention quicker than when you openly acknowledge that he has a small penis.  If you have never done that before, it will definitely turn him on.  Learn penis size statistics so you know where he stands in the pecking order – and let him know, that you know.  If his little penis becomes stiff and he is clearly excited, then it will be obvious to you that you can feel free to continue on.
  • Reflect Back: Show interest in his small penis and this interest can be demonstrated by asking him questions about his small penis experiences that might include:  “What’s it like for you to have a small penis?”  What do you think about?”   “When you go into a locker room and the other guys are bigger, how does that make you feel, submissive, in awe or what other emotions do you experience?”   “Have any women ever told you that you were small, and if so, how did that make you feel?”  This kind of inquiry can really open the door to his soul and give you a much better idea of why he thinks like he does.

At the same time, it’s also equally important for you to be completely open and honest about how you feel your partner’s small penis affects your sexual satisfaction too.  I obviously can’t speak for all women, but I can provide a few examples of how our sexual honesty has affected my wife and enhanced our sexual relationship

  • Sexual Frustration: If you have ever been sexually frustrated due to the size of your partner’s penis, be honest and explain it to him. Don’t be dishonest and tell him everything is perfect if it isn’t. Remember he wants and deserves honesty.   For example, my wife has explained to me that there are just some sex positions that don’t work for her simply because my penis isn’t long enough.  There are other positions and certain times when my lack of thickness is obvious too.  She didn’t say these things in a mean way; rather it was in a straight forward and honest way.  It really turned me on that she was so open about it. It has also been fun exploring different sexual positions that are much more effective for the smaller penis.
  • Does Size Does Matter? Size may not matter to a woman, but if it does don’t say it doesn’t matter. I believe many women are very hesitant to acknowledge this to their smaller endowed partners because they don’t want to hurt his feelings. But, I would venture to say that for most small endowed men on this site, it’s not only ok for you to acknowledge it, it would really turn us on because again, you’re being completely honest.    My wife is one of those women who would have previously said that size didn’t matter.  But, through her experimentation with larger dildos she has come to the conclusion that bigger isn’t just better, it’s a lot better.  She has acknowledged that the ideal cock size for her would be 7” to 7 ½” long, by 5 ½” around, which is obviously much more than I have.  But again, I’m not only ok with it; it turns me on because she has been sexually honest with me.  Consequently, she no longer has to feel bashful about stating a preference for “big cock dildo sex,” and there may even  be some nights when she has big cock sex with her dildo, and wants little penis sex with me too, which provides her with a variety of different size sensations.
  • Compensation: My wife understands why small endowed men need to be highly motivated to please their woman by any means necessary and she isn’t shy about reminding me that I need to compensate for my small penis.  My willingness and enthusiasm to compensate really turns her on.  She loves the fact that I have become a master at oral sex and providing her with lots of foreplay and attention, and willing to use sex toys, etc.  These are all things most small endowed men embrace.  We are usually very inspired and eager to “level the playing field” by being more attentive and focusing in on our partner’s needs.
  • Sexual Experimentation: My wife is also very sexually curious and willing to try just about anything.  Her openness and willingness to share with me her innermost fantasies and desires is extremely erotic and very arousing for me.

These are just a few examples of how my wife has embraced my small penis, and also been willing to share her open and honest feelings about it.  Prior to our “small penis sexual honesty” discussions, like many couples, we had a pretty vanilla sexual relationship for many years.  While we loved each other and really enjoyed having sex, we will both knew there was something missing.  There didn’t seem to be the electricity, the excitement and sexual tension that should have been there.  But, through our open and honest discussions about my penis size and how it impacted our relationship, we have discovered a new and amazing sex life.  In fact, we both agree that our sexual relationship today is far more exciting and open than it has ever been.

To the women out there, if your partner has a small penis, and it turns him on for you to acknowledge it, what are you waiting for?  By accepting and acknowledging his small penis, coupled with explaining to him how it affects you personally, can lead you in a new and exciting direction!

So here are today’s questions for both men and women who are in small penis relationships:

  • Have you been able to have the “penis size talk” in your relationship?
  • If so, was it a positive or negative experience?
  • If it was positive, how would you describe the benefits you both have realized from it?
  • If you haven’t had “the talk,” what’s stopping you?

As always, please feel free to add your thoughts and pearls of wisdom!

Do You Shave?

Shaving - 1 - Copy

We posed this question to women several months ago and got some interesting responses.  Recently, several guys have indicated on the blog that they are shaved, and it led Hottie and me into an interesting discussion about men and their grooming habits down there. I haven’t seen any statistics on the subject, but my guess is that a lot more men are shaving their pubic area these days than in the past.  My sense is, and this is just my own speculation, that like women, more guys, especially in the younger generations are not only more comfortable shaving but also look more favorably on it as well.

For those guys that shave, we’re curious to know what your motivation or interest is in doing so. For example, one of our male followers commented one time that being shaved heightened his sensitivity down there and cited this as a major advantage to being shaved.  So there may be some sensual advantages to shaving. I have also read that some men in chastity shave to avoid having random hairs pinching or getting caught in their chastity cages, so for them, shaving may simply be because it is more practical to do so. But, for men with small penises, I’m guessing there may be other reasons or motivations behind shaving or not shaving.  For example, and this is just my personal observation as well, I think some small endowed men (especially those who have not accepted their small size) probably wouldn’t want to shave for fear of drawing too much attention and focus on their small members.  But, on the other hand, I think some small endowed guys shave precisely because it is, in a way, an “outing.”  Being completely shaved would, in a sense, “showcase” and draw immediate attention to their mini-members which is very exciting for them.  In this last example, they shave because it’s sexually arousing for them.

So in the end, I think there may be three primary reasons why a guy might shave:  (1) Heightened sensitivity, (2) Practical reasons, or (3) Sexual arousal.   I suppose you could add a fourth reason – guys might just want to shave for hygiene reasons as well. So, all of this leads me to today’s questions:

Questions for Men:

  • Are you shaved, trimmed or “au natural?”
  • If you’re shaved, was it your idea or your partners?
  • If you are shaved, what is/was your motivation behind it?

Questions for Women:

  • Is your guy shaved, trimmed or “au natural?”
  • If he is shaved, was it your idea or his?
  • If he is shaved, what is it about him being shaved that turns you on the most?

As always, feel free to add anything else you think is relevant to the topic.  Thanks!

Do You Wear Panties?

Hot 30 - Copy

I receive a lot of really interesting emails from guys.  I’m always fascinated by what turns them on and why.  One of the real eye openers for me is just how many guys have a panty fetish.   They either openly wear them in their relationships, or wish they could.  Wearing women’s panties, like many of the topics we have discussed on this blog was never on my radar screen, nor was it on my husband’s either.  In fact, it was one of those topics that Steve always said that he wanted to stay away from because it just seemed so humiliating, and why would a guy want to do that?

I was chatting with one guy in particular who had this fetish, and I asked him to explain it to me and he sent me a whole series of links of articles to read.  I read them all, one by one, and I just didn’t get it.  It just seemed, as I had suspected, to be way over the top.   But then, I read the last one, “How To Panty Your Husband,” By happywife82 that was posted on Literotica.  Here is the link for anyone interested in reading it:  http://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-panty-your-husband

When I read that article, I suddenly found myself understanding why this might actually appeal to men.  To be honest, it actually turned me on reading it.  The true “acid test” for me though was getting a reaction from Steve about what he thought about it.  So, I read each of the following passages to him and asked him for his honest response:

  • “Yes, a lot of women like their guys in panties – and a big cock in panties can be sexy as hell! But a pantied husband, in my experience, is most often a husband with shortcomings … and everyone in the relationship not only acknowledges it – but celebrates it.” BOING!
  • “So the first reason to panty your man is acceptance. If his penis fits into a snug little pair of panties, he is tiny. He knows it, you know it, the question is – is anyone bringing this little fact out in the open. When you do, your man will likely feel incredible relief. He just wants to be able to talk about, and sexualize, his small penis. Give him a chance to showcase his cute little guy!” BOING!
  • “Starting out slowly is a good idea. ”Honey, I had a wicked thought – try on these panties for me!” He might be reluctant, but you will know his true reaction by the reaction of his little guy. If your man has a small penis, and you have him strip and step into panties for you as you ooohh and ahh, I can almost guarantee he will get hard, and instantly.”  BOING!
  • “Another common aspect of a pantied husband / female-led relationship is to switch up the way you make love. Feel free to let your special guy know it’s time for “little penis” sex.” Then after he tries to satisfy you, have him use a dildo on you.”   BOING!
  • “Of course, point out the significant difference. A small penis can’t work in so many positions, such as a man sitting on the couch and a woman straddling him (facing him or facing away). Hint at how you miss real sex, and tell him his main duty is to please you orally. He’ll be an expert in no time!”  BOING!
  • “Remember ladies, a pantied hubby wants to worship his wife, so give him every reason to. Dress sexy, wear stockings, garters, and let your wild side out. Couples in the hotwife or fem-led lifestyles often report better health: If your body is on display constantly, chances are you want to get and stay fit.” BOING!

Steve was surprised by his own reaction to this article, and when I asked him what about it was a turn on for him, he said, “I think it was the disarming way that she approached the topic.  It wasn’t written in a degrading and humiliating way, but more of a fun way to mix things up in a relationship. She definitely understands the small penis dynamic.”  I felt exactly the same way too, which is why it was a turn on for me as well.

Now, this doesn’t mean Steve is wearing “women’s panties”, but we have replaced all of his briefs for very sexy and “size appropriate” man panties…lol, which are hot.  We actually went to a site called, “Be-brief” and found some very sexy underwear. I love them because they not only snuggly fit his little package but when I reach down to cup his little penis and balls it is soft and silky to touch. The snug fit is perfect for showcasing his smallness.  :-)

In any event, since we have had a number of guys express an interest in this, I really wanted to write an article on the subject. :-)

So, here are my questions:

  • How many of you wear women’s panties, and if so, does your wife know and what does she think about it?
  • If you do wear them, what is the major turn on or attraction for you in doing so?
  • If you don’t have you ever thought about it or wanted to?

As always, feel free to add anything else you would like to on the subject!

Small Penis Teasing (SPT) Survey Results: Revised

SPT 25 - Copy

On May 24, 2014, I published the article, Small Penis Teasing Survey Results” which summarized the results of a survey I conducted between February and April. All of these men identified a strong interest in Small Penis Teasing, and the intent of the survey was to identify the reasons for this interest. The surveys were completed by 19 enthusiastic respondents of the Love Small Penis Blog who were all interested in small penis teasing.

As a woman, I have been captivated by the survey responses, and I continue to be intrigued to know what about SPT provides such incredible arousal for the smaller endowed man. The feedback and emails I received back, convinced me to keep the survey up on the blog and open-ended.  This summary includes the surveys of 50 participants, who completed the survey between February and September.  While the survey sample size has grown from 19 to 50, and is admittedly a small sample size, there are some very interesting observations commonalities of our participants’ responses.   Here is an Executive Summary of my “findings.”

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

The first thing I was curious to know was the penis size of our participants to see how they measured up.  Here are the results:

9 (18%) of the participants had a penis that measured at least 6”

24 (48%) of the participants had a penis that measured at least 5”

26 (52%) of the participants had a penis that measured less than 5”

14 (28%) of the participants had a penis that measured less than 4.5”

Overall, the “average” penis size of our participants is: 4.9” in length, and 4.7” in circumference.  But, as you can see, there was a wide range of penis sizes involved in this “study,” which further validates the notion that any man, regardless of his penis size can be interested in SPT.

Other interesting demographics and observations include:

  • The age range of the participants was from 20-60+ (62% were over 40), and many of whom were in long-term relationships. The majority of these participants admitted to being drawn to SPT later in life and after they had accepted their penis size.
  • 48 of the 50 participants indicated some level of post-high school education, with 17 (34%) having a baccalaureate degree and 21 (42%) participants having a post baccalaureate education.  This continues to support the notion that men who are more educated may be more realistic in terms of their penis size and thus more likely to gravitate to SPT.  I’m becoming convinced that most small endowed guys have big brains! J
  • It may surprise some people who might assume that a man who has a small penis might tend to be more submissive outside the bedroom, but according to our survey, 31 participants (62%) identified themselves as dominant or mostly dominant outside the bedroom in their day to day lives. Conversely, it’s not surprising that 25 (50%) identify themselves as being submissive or mostly submissive in the bedroom.  In addition, several others who identified themselves as equally dom-sub, or even mostly dom, still fantasize about being more submissive in the bedroom. It’s also worth noting that in this survey, there was no correlation between penis size and submissiveness.
  • Not surprisingly, the bigger the penis, the less likely it is that the male has experienced humiliation, shame or embarrassment from either males or females or both.  Conversely, the smaller the penis, the more likely it is that the male has experienced some or all of these emotions multiple times in their past experiences.
  • 17 (34%) reported having been teased by other males
  • 21 (42%) reported having been teased by females
  • 24 (48%) reported having been humiliated by females

Ironically, while most of the participants experienced negative emotions earlier in their lives, in retrospect these memories are now viewed by them in a much more arousing and erotic light,  and would even like a “do-over.”

  • An overwhelming number, 45 out of 50 (90%) see a distinction between SPT and SPH, and seem to prefer the more mild form of SPT over the harsher form of SPH.
  • 70% of respondents reported that they believe men with large cocks were sexually superior.  Most of those (40%) who indicated yes, believe this is true with no qualification attached. But 30% of the participants added the qualifier: “If everything else is equal then yes, a man with a larger cock is sexually superior.”
  • Surprisingly, 90% of the participants who reported using dildos in their relationship were incredibly turned on when entering their wife/partner after she had used one.  The feeling of their “smallness” was validated for them and they were also amazed at their wife/partners sexual capacity.  I say this is surprising because as a woman, I had previously thought that all men and especially a small endowed man would want a woman whose pussy was small and tight.  But, when their wife or partner feels big or stretched it provides instant affirmation that they are small endowed, and this turns on a lot of men who are into SPT.
  • ALL respondents indicated a desire for SPT to be at least weekly, and 72% wish it would occur daily!
  • 80% of the respondents who have less than a 6” cock have had to acknowledge their “smallness” to a woman at one time or another in their lifetime.  Some expressed feeling shame, embarrassment or humiliation initially, but these feelings have been transformed to being more arousing and erotic for them.  I believe as Steve’s therapist has said, “He is eroticizing something that has previously been a very negative feeling.”
  • On a scale of 0-5, with 0 (no interest) to 5 (very high interest), participants were asked to provide their most desirable forms of SPT.  The favorites on the “Hit Parade” are as follows with their average rating:
  1. SPT comments that are more direct and open – 4.72
  2. SPT comments that are more mild or subtle “hints” – 4.43
  3. Cock or Dildo Comparisons – 4.42
  4. Sloppy Seconds – 3.88
  5. Being Outed by your wife or partner – 3.86
  6. Self-Outing – where you go to the gym, etc. – 2.86
  7. Orgasm Denial Occasionally 2.8
  8. Withholding Sex –perhaps just once in a while – 2.44
  9. Orgasm Denial for a Sustained period of time – 2.18
  10. Withholding Sex for a Sustained period of time – 1.76

The men who completed this survey self-identity themselves as being small endowed, but they find incredible relief and eroticism by acknowledging it to their partners.  They desire their wives/partners to frequently tell and tease them about being small-endowed.  They enjoy cock/dildo comparisons because it is visual proof to their partner that they don’t measure up, and they tend to prefer sloppy seconds because that is the physical validation of their smallness to both themselves and their partner. Being outed provides incredible sexual tension and titillation for them as well.  Many of these men also enjoy orgasm denial and being withheld sex because it is an acknowledgement of the sexual power their women have in their relationships.

In summary, the men who participated in this survey report that SPT has been incredibly erotic for them, and has added an element of excitement and arousal for them in the bedroom they had not known previously.  In short (pun intended), it excites them to no end!  To be honest this whole process was exciting for me too, and I really enjoyed reading all of the responses.

Lastly, I want to thank all of the lesser-endowed men (remember, there’s always bigger) who participated in this survey.  Your answers were thoughtful, sincere and very insightful.

If you would like to participate in this survey, you can still do so by contacting me directly at hotwife2013@aol.com for a copy of the survey instrument.

From Housewife to Cuckoldress – An Interview with Alex Hathaway

cuckoldress

A few years ago, I stumbled upon excerpts from a fascinating book by Alex Hathaway called, “From Housewife to Cuckoldress.”  What I read was such a major turn on for me, that one night I began sharing it with my wife, and to my pleasant surprise, while I was describing it to her, she grabbed her iPad, bought and downloaded it on the spot!  I read it cover-to-cover and couldn’t put it down.

It was a very erotic and captivating book for several reasons.  First, it was written by a woman who really understood the subject.  Secondly, it really delved into the psychological aspects of it from both the male and female perspectives.   And third, the sex scenes were very erotic.  As she described on her blog, “While the sex in From Housewife to Cuckoldress is what you might call “best case scenario” sex – orgasms all around – I wanted it to capture the special intensity that cuckold sex can have.”  Needless to say, I would highly recommend From Housewife to Cuckoldress, and her second book, The Education of a Cuckold.

Lastly, I want to give my wife credit for suggesting that I try reaching out to Alex to see if she would do an interview.  I wasn’t sure where to turn, but I contacted Fanny Press in hopes that they might know how I could contact Alex to see if she would be willing to do an interview.  To my surprise, they responded immediately and made the connection for me.  So, I would like to give a special “Thank you,” to Fanny press for arranging the interview, and of course, to Alex for agreeing to do it.

I hope you enjoy the Interview!

  • Tell us a little bit about yourself, and how long have you been writing adult erotic literature?

Alex:  I have been a writer all my life. It was only more recently I recalled the example of Henry Miller, Anais Nin and others who found a catharsis in erotic writing. I had written a few short stories, but my first erotic writing was really From Housewife to Cuckoldress, the first of two published books in an ongoing series on cuckolding.

It made a huge difference to contact a progressive press like Fanny Press and develop a great relationship with them. They have been indispensable in my journeys from draft to publications that actually get in readers’ hands.

It’s probably clear from my writing that I have experience in alternative sexual communities, from BDSM to open relationships of various flavors. But when I write about these taboos, I try to draw out distinct evolutions in identity, rather than just explore kink for its own sake.

  • How would you describe your writing style, and what do you think are the key components in writing a really good and captivating erotic story?

Alex: My erotic writing style is really character driven. While my first protagonist was female, and the second was male (Education of a Cuckold), my focus is really on the core of their crisis in identity and how they move towards understanding/resolution. To me that is fascinating – coming to terms with sexual identity, acceptance, turning flaws into strengths. I try to be ruthlessly honest to the process the character is going through. Hot sex scenes don’t hurt either – I try to spice up the books with the kinds of explicit cuckold sex you won’t find in too many other places. But those sex scenes only work in the context of working through those identity riddles. At least that’s how I see it.

If I can entertain while giving the reader a feeling for how a particular character moved through sexual dilemmas into some kind of empowerment or acceptance, to me that’s a good story.

  • Would you describe your books to be short stories, novellas, or full length novels?

Alex: I would say long novellas. In the form I use, I’m able to explore a sexual evolution beyond what you could get in a short story. On the other hand, I don’t think these are novels because typically in my work, it’s the main character in each story that gets fleshed out the most. Then I move on to the next novella if you will.

Alex: I have always felt a fascination with cuckolding from a female perspective. How does a cuckoldress evolve? It’s a story not often told. I see cuckolding as kind of a feminist Trojan horse. A true cuckold relationship opens up all kinds of sexual empowerment possibilities for the woman in the relationship that are not widely understood in our culture. (Open relationships are better known but often come from a male-oriented ‘swinging culture’). Feminist thinking has not embraced cuckoldry to this point, but that’s not going to stop me from writing about the woman’s point of view in these situations.

  • Cuckolding appears to be gaining in popularity and is a fascinating topic. What do you attribute to the growing interest in this kind of relationship?

Alex: We are entering the realm of strong views which all readers may not accept. But in my opinion a sexually empowered, modern (heterosexual) woman is at high risk of finding herself in a long term relationship with someone she may love but who is not challenging/exciting to her sexually in a jugular way. I don’t usually use the “beta male” lingo, but I think there are many men who either struggle to sexually please the women in their lives, or even if they don’t, a part of them has doubts about that which are sexually charged.

For the man, cuckolding addresses those fears in a very jugular way by imagining the girlfriend/wife being pleased in a way that the man cannot. Whether that’s a reality in the relationship, or strictly a fantasy, it’s a very potent one. This gets at some fundamental questions of cultural conditioning versus primal sexual desires.

I don’t happen to believe that women are meant to be monogamous, for example. In general, I believe once women have a primary pair bonding based on caregiving criteria (the responsible father), they are meant to continue to be sexual beyond that bonding. In other words, by choosing a long term pairing mate, the woman is likely sacrificing other male attributes pertaining to pure sexual ability and chemistry. She thinks to herself, “I’m glad I got those (alpha males) out of my system when I was younger,” but life doesn’t work like that. Sooner or later, those desires come back – with a vengeance. I see that as natural and healthy, but against the grain of cultural norms.

In my work, that female sacrifice inherent in (most) pairing selections becomes a ticking time bomb more often than not. Cuckolding frees us up to talk about what the time bomb is and reckon with it before it blasts off, creating cheating and distrust. Ironically, most – though not all – men are much better suited for devoted monogamy. Assuming they are paired properly.

And that’s why I personally think cuckolding has such a primal appeal. I realize not everyone sees it this way. Some just see cuckolding as a fun way of spicing up a loving relationship – either in fantasy or actual practice. Or they see it as a prism of male sexual fantasy. Which is true and can be a lot of fun. But the onion unravels much, much further.

Such “spicing up” is totally fair game, but for many couples I know, cuckolding’s appeal goes much deeper. As for “Why cuckolding now?” I would point you towards trends in female sexual empowerment in Western cultures, combined with increasing sexual openness and introspection in men.

  • What do you think is the biggest misconception about a cuckolding relationship?

Alex: There are plenty, mostly because there are as many varieties of cuckolding as there are flowers in the backyard. And if it works for you, then it works.

I did write about how cuckolds are NOT losers for Fanny Press: http://alexcuckoldstories.fannypress.com/?p=27

I also see a big difference between a “hot wife” and a “cuckoldress” which I also wrote about: http://alexcuckoldstories.fannypress.com/?p=35

If I had to pick one misconception above all others, it’s the idea that cuckolding is some kind of dysfunctional or cheating situation that involves either deception or wallowing in poor self-esteem. The classic definition of a cuckold implied the cheating part. Whereas I see cuckolding as a very healthy and viable relationship option for the right couple.

  • You followed up your first book with “The Education of a Cuckold: A Story of Love, Lust, and Fate.” What led you to want to write this book?

Alex: Well, in the first book, I primarily looked at the female psychology of becoming a cuckoldress, and what a woman has to overcome to embrace a cuckoldress identity and claim her sexual power in a relationship. In The Education of a Cuckold, I looked at the male evolution of a cuckold, starting at a young adult age. At that point, our character’s intense sexual experiences got mixed into a “Wait, I thought I was an alpha male” sexual identity crisis. Then, despair and loneliness. Cuckolding gradually emerges as a way of pushing through that crisis. I see the second book as complementing the first from a psychological perspective.

  • In both of your books, the cuckolds are small endowed. In your opinion do you think lesser endowed men are more likely to gravitate to cuckolding, or do you think cuckolding is more of a “mindset” than a penis measurement?

Alex: Great question! I see cuckolding as a psycho-sexual playground available to all, male or female, regardless of sexual orientation. Cuckolding is a very specific variation on the dynamics of dominance and submission that are common to BDSM subcultures. As each of us opens up sexually, we come to understand both our dominance and our submission. We also reckon with intense feelings of jealousy or control. We all land differently in these power dynamics. Some of us are more “switch”, whereas some of us discover we are much more submissive than we realized. Cuckolding is a great avenue to explore these tendencies, many of which can surprise us! So yes, it’s a mindset first and foremost.

I’ve known men of all penis sizes who are cuckolds (and who fantasize about being cuckolds). That said I do believe that small penis men are particularly drawn to cuckolding, for reasons I think are understandable.

Many men have found that feelings of inadequacy can be exciting to explore sexually with their partners. Emotionally-charged issues of jealousy and performance can be wonderful to explore, even if they bring a painful edge.

But I do think small penis men find cuckolding at a more primal level. I’ve known small penis men, for example, who felt that cuckolding was really their only way forward sexually. In other words, while anyone can explore cuckolding, small penis men may almost feel forced into it by genetic circumstance. That can be highly liberating and arousing.

And while feelings of inadequacy are common amongst men, there is a particular intensity when a man realizes the perception is not just a fantasy but the reality: on some level he is sexually inadequate to his partner. For men who have not been told the truth about such things, it can be both shocking and liberating to encounter a woman who is willing to be open about such matters, especially in a loving and compassionate way.

This is fertile ground for the small penis man, who can now seek out cuckold relationships where no topics are taboo. Or: cuckolding can simply be a way for the small penis man to open up an arena of role play and fantasizing and, most of all, truly honest sexual communication, with one’s partner, who may be thrilled to realize she no longer needs to sugar coat her desires and preferences. Not to mention openly sharing past experiences with well-endowed partners! It’s not a surprise small penis men are drawn to this, after years of nibbling around the truth and wondering what women really think.

  • Who is your target audience – men, women or both, and has anything surprised you about your audience?

Alex: My audience is really folks who are looking for erotically charged books that explore taboos around cuckolding. I write for men and for women both, because I feel cuckolding is a shared adventure. Hopefully the audience enjoys the psychological evolution of my characters, but I would never impose an agenda on a reader. I feel I can’t worry too much about the audience but try to write authentically about things that matter, and hope it comes across.

  • Do you have any plans on writing other books in the future, and if so, are you planning on writing any additional books on cuckolding, or are there other subjects or themes you are considering?

Alex: I’m not done with cuckolding anytime soon! I still see quite a bit untapped here. I’m currently working on a third book of erotic fiction on cuckolding themes, which will also be with Fanny Press. I am hoping to round out psychological themes in cuckolding relationships in the future. My next book is from a woman’s point of view again, which is probably my comfort level. The book starts to delve more into the psychology of the “bull,” the so-called alpha male that is important to bringing cuckolding themes to their peak.

I don’t think the role of the so-called bull is well understood, and it impacts the females in cuckolding situations just as much as the men – if not more so. This next book puts the central protagonist, a woman, on the spot if you will, as she is confronted by the sexual implications of being married to a cuckolding bull. Needless to say this is not an easy thing, but it makes for some exciting situations. That’s about all I can say until I finish it.

  • What formats are your books available in, and for people who might be interested in checking out your books, where can they find them?

Alex: I’m going to let Fanny Press answer that question as they work hard to make the books widely available. But I will say I am excited the first book, “From Housewife to Cuckoldress” has an audio version.

Fanny Press: Housewife to Cuckoldress is available in audio on Audible.com, iTunes, and Amazon. Both From Housewife to Cuckoldress and Education of a Cuckold are available on Amazon.com, BN.com, the European Amazons, and Amazon Japan. You can order them at any bookstore as well, and they are available in multiple eBook formats. Here are the links to the announcement pages, where you can find all the buy links:

http://fannypress.com/2011/01/31/from-housewife-to-cuckoldress-how-i-took-sexual-control-of-a-marriage-in-crisis/

http://fannypress.com/2013/10/15/the-education-of-a-cuckold-a-novel-by-alex-hathway/

Thanks for these terrific questions; I hope your readers enjoy the Interview. Keep up the great work on the lovesmallpenis blog.

Thank you for the Interview!  We look forward to reading more of your books in the future!

LSP Customer Service Survey

Customer Service - Copy

A lot of the topics we write about on the blog come directly from suggestions sent to us by those of you who follow the blog.  We really appreciate your suggestions and we always do our best to write about what we know on a given subject, and then let the rest of you share your experiences and/or knowledge on the subject.   I know I can speak for my wife when I say that your comments and ideas have been fascinating and inspired us to talk and even explore many new and exciting sexual activities.  So, we have obviously benefited from your contributions, and we hope that those of you who follow our blog have likewise found value in it as well.

In thinking about all of this recently, we thought we should reach out to you and ask those of you who follow the blog what specific topics interest you the most.  We have prepared a list of topics below, and would like to ask you to rate your interest in the subjects on a scale of 0 (no interest) to 5 (very high interest).   Besides rating them, if you could also let us know if there is a specific aspect of any topic you would like to see us cover in more detail, please let us know that too.  And, if there are any other small penis subjects you’re interested in but don’t see them on the list, by all means, let us know.

  • Small Penis Acceptance
  • Small Penis Relationships
  • Best Practices in Small Penis Sex
  • SPT/SPH
  • Cock Comparisons
  • Dildos and Sex Toys
  • Dominant-submissive or Female Led Relationships
  • Cuckolding/Swinging or other Alternative Lifestyles
  • Male Chastity
  • Withholding Sex
  • Orgasm Tease/Denial
  • Outing
  • Panties
  • Small Penis Condoms
  • Others?

Please post your thoughts here, or if you prefer, please feel free to send your suggestions to one or both of us at the email addresses listed below.  To those of you who are “Lurkers” out there, feel free to contact us personally and let us know what you like too.  We have had a number of you recently that have reached out to us, and we really appreciate hearing from you too.

Lastly, it’s not too late to take the SPT Survey.  While we posted the initial results from the first 19 who participated a few months ago, we have had many others recently contact us wanting to fill it out and wondering if it is too late.  This is going to be an ongoing project, and we will be posting updated statistics from our survey respondents in the near future.  So, if you would be interested in participating just drop Hottie and email and she will send you out the survey questionnaire.

As always thanks for your feedback and suggestions!

1hotwife:  hotwife2013@aol.com

Steve:  play613796@aol.com

Why We Chose Chastity

Chastity 13 - Copy

On July 10, 2014 we wrote and posted the article, “Why is Male Chastity Appealing?” What inspired us to offer this article was a result of conversations we had with a fellow blog member and also hearing from others that were in this lifestyle.  To be honest, prior to that time, male chastity and orgasm tease and denial (which, by the way, do go hand-in-hand) was not something either of us had any interest in at all.

After reading one email in particular, my wife said to me, “Wow, you’re going into lockdown!”   She was completely captivated and extremely turned on by how excited this guy was by his wife, and how focused he had become on her since he entered chastity.  He also acknowledged that he was a chronic masturbator, and how his masturbation habits were now completely under his wife’s control.  The other thing that got my wife’s attention was the power and control the woman clearly had over her husband.

When my wife shared this email with me, it was very clear this was something that really excited her.  What was completely surprising to me was that I was just as turned on by these descriptions as she was.  Within a week, I was in male chastity and have been ever since.  As such, I thought it might be helpful to explain how both Hottie and I view chastity and why we came to the conclusion that we should try it.  Here are just a few examples of how we both view it:

Steve’s View:

  • Psychological Implications of Chastity:   Neither Hottie or I have any interest in chastity affecting my masculinity.  I am athletic, intelligent, confident, and successful and neither of us want to compromise these obvious assets.  She would not want me to be wimpy or a doormat, nor would I want to be one.  In our chastity relationship it is solely between her and I and completely transparent to the outside world.  I do not have to compromise this part of who I am in order to willingly enter chastity and be submissive to her.
  • Ultimate Act of Submission: We have been moving into more of a Dom-sub, female-led relationship for the last several months.  The more I thought about male chastity, the more I realized (Hottie did too) that entering male chastity was the ultimate act of submission to my Dominant female.  This recognition was both exciting and liberating for me.
  • Chronic Masturbator:  Of course, being a chronic masturbator, that “little” habit of mine has been completely put under her control, and chastity has definitely limited it to supervised masturbation, and I welcomed that advantage of it and know it’s actually been beneficial.
  • Snap!:  On the previous chastity article, Hottie asked readers if she should put me in chastity and one of our male followers said, “I think you should definitely try it.  I would like to hear what Steve thought when that lock is snapped and he no longer has control.”  Well, this may be really hard to understand unless you have experienced it, but I told Hottie, that somehow it felt strangely comforting.  It feels natural and whenever I hear that snap, it’s a reminder of our new and improved relationship!
  • Day-to-day chastity: When you are in chastity, wearing the heavier cage on your penis and balls is an ongoing reminder of your chastity relationship.  You are aware of it constantly, and you realize it is an ongoing symbol of your submission.   Every time I think about it, it serves as an ongoing reminder of a positive change of direction for our relationship.

Hottie’s View:

  • Power and Control: The power and control are definitely two of the major attractions and benefits for my wife with male chastity.  For Hottie, it’s sexually thrilling for her to be my “Keyholder” and have complete dominance and control over my orgasms.   As she says, “If you control the penis, you control the man.”  This is clearly demonstrated by her ability to determine if and when I will have orgasms.  We had two recent posts from women that resonated with her:

Janie said, “The other part of me gets off on the power trip, on knowing his whole world revolves around me and knowing the depth of his infatuation and focus on me. I love raising his hopes with a single word…then sending them crashing back down again. We aren’t into whips or chains or other more visceral forms of domination.”  We, like Janie, aren’t into whips and chains either; it’s the power and control that turns my wife on!

Larissa said:  “As far as your question goes Steve, well yes the power and control component is intoxicating for both of us, but it is just one component of why orgasm denial and chastity works for us. There is always such sexual electricity between us.

Hottie agreed with both of these women’s views on chastity, and has also used the words “sexual electricity” to explain it too.

  • More Attention and Focus: For Hottie, another important benefit of chastity is the intensified focus on her.  When you have been in chastity, and your wife/partner is your keyholder, you will definitely have more focus and adoration on her, and she loves this aspect of it.  And she wants it to be clear, it’s not that she felt that she wasn’t getting my attention before, but once I went into chastity, it ratcheted up the intensity to a whole new level.
  • Masturbation Habits: Hottie knew my masturbation habits were excessive at times, and she felt that chastity would curtail this activity.  When Hottie has sex with me, she wants to be assured that I bring my “A” game every time, and if I can masturbate uncontrollably, she feels like she may not be getting my best effort.  Hottie thought that Larissa confirmed this in her comments:

“From a woman’s perspective – my husband certainly has the smallest penis out of any of my former lovers, by some measure, and was certainly masturbating considerably more than any of them ever had – about 1-2 times per day. Is that a factor of penis size or greater access to Internet porn – not sure, but I do think penis size has something to do with it. I do notice that men with smaller penises tend to get erect far more quickly than the larger guys.

“Anyway, we have managed to change things over the last year. Whereas previously my husband tended to masturbate 1-2 times a day, through adopting a lifestyle of orgasm control/denial and chastity, we have brought that down to him having an orgasm about 1-2 times a month – at least that has been the average over the last 6 months. He now does not have any private little masturbation sessions, and only has an orgasm with my permission.”

  • The Keyholder: This goes back to power and control, but Hottie loves being my “Keyholder.” She has made it clear to me that I will remain in chastity until she decides I can come out, and I always have to ask her permission first.  If Hottie leaves town, I still must remain in chastity, and if an emergency does arrive, she has hidden a key for me, but I still have to ask for it. We both also recognize there are times, when it is not practical for me to be in chastity. On those occasions, which may include business or personal travel, etc., Hottie will allow me to remove my chastity cage for the duration of those scenarios.
  • Sensual Domination:  Hottie considers chastity to be the ultimate form of sensual domination, and she understands that it actually takes strength to submit or to share power.   For her my willingness to submit to chastity not only fits in perfectly with our definition of a Dom-sub, female-led relationship, it’s a concrete example of it.

SEX!

As was said above, one major benefit that Hottie and I will both acknowledge is the sexual electricity chastity creates for us.  Some keyholders and their males in chastity have developed a regular “cum” schedule, but Hottie prefers that we have no set schedule, because she wants me to be continually “motivated” and by not knowing when I might be released keeps her firmly in control.

In the meantime, when she wants to have sex, she knows I will give her the best foreplay, the best oral sex, and best big dildo sex she has ever had.   She might have 5, 7 or 10 orgasms while I’m locked up.  Because the sole focus is on her sexual pleasure, there is something extraordinarily powerful for both us with this dynamic.  At other times, she might release me from chastity for supervised masturbation, sloppy seconds, or she might just want little penis sex.  Because I never know when I will be released, and when I am, what that might mean, it’s like I’m continually sexually charged.  It is simply a dynamic that unless you have experienced it, you have no idea how powerful the mystery and tension can be.   As one of our male followers who has experienced male chastity explained, “My constant and undivided attention and unparalleled sexual pleasures of whatever type and frequency she desires.”  This is exactly what turns my wife on.

Penis Size and Male Chastity:  Of course, you don’t have to have a small penis to enjoy chastity, but I do know for me, that there is definitely a correlation of me having a small penis and my desire to be in chastity.  I asked my wife if she saw a correlation and she explained it to me this way, “Yes, I do think there is a correlation.  You “little” guys want our attention on your little penises, and through chastity we do focus on your little guy!”  My wife completely understands that for her (and me) there is a definite connection between my small penis and chastity.  For example, if I ask her why I’m in chastity, she might say two words, “Four Inches.”  Or, when I’m pleasuring her with her big dildo cock while locked in chastity, she might say, “It’s so much bigger and better, you know this is why you’re in chastity.”  And if she allows me to have big pussy sex, it’s validation to both us why I need to be in chastity.  For me, it’s a mental mind fuck of epic proportions, and my excitement isn’t lost on her either.

Mutual Decision:  Like everything else on our small penis relationship journey, the decision to enter chastity was a mutual decision.  It wasn’t that we felt like we were lacking anything, but we acknowledged that this concept was intriguing to us and potentially very exciting.  It has been all of that and much more.  The fact that it was a mutual decision turns us both on.  Because we were both equally interested in it, it allowed us to define the parameters and how it would work best for us.

Chastity is a sexual activity that some couples do merely as a little SPT fun or a playful activity they engage in once in a while to spice things up. For others, it is a more permanent lifestyle which they take more seriously.  We have even had some guys who have explained that they were in, what I would call, “Psychological Chastity” in that they do not wear a chastity cage, but are “mentally” in chastity and their partners control their orgasms without the use of a chastity device.

Lastly, the key phrase above “Mutual Decision” is what’s really important.  Male chastity does not have to include whips and chains, BDSM, nor does it have to lead to anything else. It really is like any other sexual practice, if it’s something you and your partner are interested in, then the two of you should talk about it and define what it means to both of you.

So, here are your questions:

(1)  Are you in a chastity relationship currently, and if so, do you like it or not?

(2)  If you are not in chastity, would you like to be, and if so, why?

(3)  If you are in chastity or have experienced it before, what would you say are the benefits or disadvantages for this kind of relationship?

As always, please feel free to add in anything else you think is important!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 176 other followers