As most of you know, we enjoy covering a wide range of topics on this Blog. Sometimes they are topics we are intimately familiar with and at other times it might be a subject we have little or no knowledge of but we like to introduce it as food for thought. In either case, we try to present a topic in an objective and thoughtful way, and ask you, our readers to fill in the gaps and tell us what you think about it.
We have a new topic we want to introduce to you this week called male chastity. We have never discussed this topic on the Blog before, but we were motivated to bring it up for three reasons. First, we have recently received multiple requests from our followers to discuss it, and we like bringing up topics our readers are interested in. Secondly, in going back over the blog, we did notice that there had been several references to it previously that had somehow eluded our radar screen. Plus it was simply a topic that neither my wife nor I had any experience with, but we will also acknowledge that we didn’t fully understand it either.
The third reason we wanted to bring it up is because we have recently been corresponding with one of our blog members about the subject. Without “outing” him, I will only say that he is highly intelligent, has a very responsible job, and is very articulate in expressing his views on the subject, and we thank him for sharing his story with us. He and his wife are enthusiastic practitioners of male chastity, and he provided us some valuable insight into why it holds such a fascinating appeal for him and his wife. So when my wife and I discussed it, it didn’t take us long to decide that this was a topic we needed to cover.
To be honest, that’s the value of this Blog for us and why we have so much fun with it. We are continually being introduced to wide variety of topics by our followers that we have never previously considered ourselves. In the case of male chastity, it made us stop and think and ask questions that many of you might have asked yourselves, “Why would someone be interested in this?” “What guy would want to be locked up in a cock cage, and what woman would want her guy in “lockdown?” We also wondered, “What’s the appeal and attraction of it for couples?” We simply didn’t know the answers to any of these questions.
In preparation for writing this article, I read a wide range of male chastity related articles in an attempt to learn more about it. I quickly learned that just like any sexually related fetish, kink or practice, there are extreme and less extreme versions of male chastity. Rather than try to explain all of the “variations on a theme,” I have instead chosen to simply try and explain the appeal of it on face value as I understand it. I will offer my usual disclaimer by stating that I’m certainly not an expert on this subject, and I’m not endorsing or discouraging this practice, but simply offering it as food for your thoughts and comments.
What are the Advantages for Women?
So what is it about male chastity that could possibly appeal to a woman? We have discovered that there are actually several things about this activity that are potentially very attractive to them. Probably the single most important one is that the husband’s sole focus is suddenly and dramatically refocused on their wives. Men who are in male chastity become “locked” (pun intended) in on their wives like never before. They dote on her and try to please her in ways they may not have before. But why is that? The truth is many men are chronic masturbators. As a guy, I know what happens when I have an orgasm. It’s like a sigh of relief. I feel content, and there is less focus on my wife because a sexual need has been met. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife, because I do. The reality is I guess you could say there is less a sense of urgency to meet her needs. But, if a guy is in chastity he tends to focus in on his wife like a laser beam, and this renewed focus can serve as an aphrodisiac for a woman.
Secondly, it can also potentially improve her sex life. Why, because when she takes away a guy’s masturbation outlet, his sole sexual outlet becomes his wife. She always gets his best effort and she gets it whenever she wants it and needs it. She no longer has to worry about him being “too tired” or wanting to watch the ball game. Instead, he now has a renewed drive and sexual frenzy. She also doesn’t have to worry about him stroking off fantasizing about his hot secretary or the busty blonde next door. She gets his complete sexual attention, and women LOVE being the sole object of their husband’s sexual interest.
A third reason why this may appeal to a woman is that they feel empowered and more in control of the relationship. The power and control she has cannot be underestimated as many women really enjoy being the “Goddess” or “Keyholder.”
What are the Advantages for Men?
So obviously there are some pretty compelling reasons why a woman might be interested in male chastity, but why would a guy want to be placed in chastity?
Believe it or not, there are also several reasons why guys might want this. In the SPT Survey we referenced recently, we asked guys to rate several different areas of possible sexual interest. Surprisingly, over 84% of the guys who have responded to our survey thus far have indicated at least some interest in orgasm denial if even for a short period of time. That was an astonishingly high number to us, and it begs the question, are smaller endowed guys more likely to be drawn to male chastity than guys of average or above average penis size? In researching the subject, I found no empirical evidence either way, so I guess it’s impossible to make that inference, but from our own “small” sample size it was definitely eye-opening. Some guys may not even know why they want it; they just know the idea of being denied an orgasm and/or having their wives control their orgasms, if even only on a short term basis, really does turn them on.
One of the reasons, perhaps strangely, goes back again to masturbation. Guys do it a lot; sometimes we even feel guilty afterwards. Have any of you guys ever stroked off but your wife didn’t know about it, and then you felt bad or guilty for doing so afterwards? By turning over control of this aspect of a guy’s sexuality, it may help eliminate that inner conflict. This conflict could come for a variety of reasons: (a) Perhaps you’re stoking off while fantasizing about a woman other than your wife, (b) Knowing that if your wife wants sex later that night she will probably not get your best effort, or (c) Recognizing that your own masturbation habits are simply out of control. Thus male chastity can help keep a guy more sexually focused on his wife.
In addition, some guys, who really think through this concept, may have already recognized that they are not as focused on their wives outside the bedroom like they should be either. They know it, they feel it, but they are just unsure what to do about it. So, they come to the conclusion that male chastity will provide them the extra “motivation” or incentive they need to really focus more attention on their wives than they have been.
Lastly, another undeniable attraction for some guys, especially submissive males in a Dom-sub relationship is that surrendering their orgasms to their Dominant female is the ultimate expression of their submission, and as such, is highly arousing for them. Likewise, the Dom in such as relationship is also quite turned on by this dynamic as well. Yes, a guy can obviously be denied orgasm without going into male chastity, but by doing so, it really does give your Dom more power and control in the relationship. While I have seen no studies that suggest male chastity is more likely to occur in a Dom-sub relationship, it seems feasible that there is at least some possible correlation.
Male Chastity: Role Play or a Real Lifestyle Change?
Male chastity is something you can engage in on a part-time, fantasy role play basis that changes things up. Much like SPT or any other sexual practice, it can simply be a fun way of creating a little more sexual tension and excitement in your relationship, and many couples play with it simply as an occasional role play activity.
But for others, they view it as a new “lifestyle” relationship change and enjoy it together. Couples in this category see it not as optional, but as a very important and necessary part of their relationship. They embrace the advantages listed above and like the ongoing sexual tension and mystery in the relationship.
The bottom line is, if it works for the two of you, whether it’s a role play activity or a lifestyle change, and is fun for both, then there are obvious benefits for the two of you. The important thing to remember is it is still important, necessary and natural for a guy to orgasm, so it’s best to keep that in mind whether you view this as either a part-time role play activity or a lifestyle change.
So, have our views on male chastity changed? Yes, primarily because we now have a better understanding of it, and can actually understand why it might appeal to some couples. As I mentioned above, the thing we both try to keep in mind is just like any sexual fetish or practice, there are basic versions of it and also more extreme. What we presented above are the more obvious reasons why some couples might consider it. But, if you do an Internet search of male chastity, you will no doubt find references to BDSM, domestic discipline, deeper humiliation, CBT and other more extreme “add-on’s.” Maybe you see some value in male chastity as described above, maybe you like the more extreme versions of it, or, perhaps you see no value in it at all. The real beauty of a good sexual relationship with your partner is (especially if you have excellent communication), it allows you to explore a wide range of activities and then decide between the two of you, what works, and what doesn’t.
Now, I would like to ask you our readers what you think about it? If you don’t have any interest in it, feel free to say so. But, if you are currently engaged in it or would like to be, we would be very interested in seeing your responses to the questions below.
For Both Men & Women:
(1) Do you engage in male chastity?
(2) If you do, is it as a part-time role play activity, or as a lifestyle change?
(3) If you do engage in it, what do you perceive to be the most important benefit(s) for you and your partner?
(4) If you don’t currently engage in it, would you like too?
(5) Do you believe there is a correlation between the desire for male chastity and penis size, or do you think there is no correlation at all?
As always, thank you in advance for your thoughtful comments!