From Housewife to Cuckoldress – An Interview with Alex Hathaway

cuckoldress

A few years ago, I stumbled upon excerpts from a fascinating book by Alex Hathaway called, “From Housewife to Cuckoldress.”  What I read was such a major turn on for me, that one night I began sharing it with my wife, and to my pleasant surprise, while I was describing it to her, she grabbed her iPad, bought and downloaded it on the spot!  I read it cover-to-cover and couldn’t put it down.

It was a very erotic and captivating book for several reasons.  First, it was written by a woman who really understood the subject.  Secondly, it really delved into the psychological aspects of it from both the male and female perspectives.   And third, the sex scenes were very erotic.  As she described on her blog, “While the sex in From Housewife to Cuckoldress is what you might call “best case scenario” sex – orgasms all around – I wanted it to capture the special intensity that cuckold sex can have.”  Needless to say, I would highly recommend From Housewife to Cuckoldress, and her second book, The Education of a Cuckold.

Lastly, I want to give my wife credit for suggesting that I try reaching out to Alex to see if she would do an interview.  I wasn’t sure where to turn, but I contacted Fanny Press in hopes that they might know how I could contact Alex to see if she would be willing to do an interview.  To my surprise, they responded immediately and made the connection for me.  So, I would like to give a special “Thank you,” to Fanny press for arranging the interview, and of course, to Alex for agreeing to do it.

I hope you enjoy the Interview!

  • Tell us a little bit about yourself, and how long have you been writing adult erotic literature?

Alex:  I have been a writer all my life. It was only more recently I recalled the example of Henry Miller, Anais Nin and others who found a catharsis in erotic writing. I had written a few short stories, but my first erotic writing was really From Housewife to Cuckoldress, the first of two published books in an ongoing series on cuckolding.

It made a huge difference to contact a progressive press like Fanny Press and develop a great relationship with them. They have been indispensable in my journeys from draft to publications that actually get in readers’ hands.

It’s probably clear from my writing that I have experience in alternative sexual communities, from BDSM to open relationships of various flavors. But when I write about these taboos, I try to draw out distinct evolutions in identity, rather than just explore kink for its own sake.

  • How would you describe your writing style, and what do you think are the key components in writing a really good and captivating erotic story?

Alex: My erotic writing style is really character driven. While my first protagonist was female, and the second was male (Education of a Cuckold), my focus is really on the core of their crisis in identity and how they move towards understanding/resolution. To me that is fascinating – coming to terms with sexual identity, acceptance, turning flaws into strengths. I try to be ruthlessly honest to the process the character is going through. Hot sex scenes don’t hurt either – I try to spice up the books with the kinds of explicit cuckold sex you won’t find in too many other places. But those sex scenes only work in the context of working through those identity riddles. At least that’s how I see it.

If I can entertain while giving the reader a feeling for how a particular character moved through sexual dilemmas into some kind of empowerment or acceptance, to me that’s a good story.

  • Would you describe your books to be short stories, novellas, or full length novels?

Alex: I would say long novellas. In the form I use, I’m able to explore a sexual evolution beyond what you could get in a short story. On the other hand, I don’t think these are novels because typically in my work, it’s the main character in each story that gets fleshed out the most. Then I move on to the next novella if you will.

Alex: I have always felt a fascination with cuckolding from a female perspective. How does a cuckoldress evolve? It’s a story not often told. I see cuckolding as kind of a feminist Trojan horse. A true cuckold relationship opens up all kinds of sexual empowerment possibilities for the woman in the relationship that are not widely understood in our culture. (Open relationships are better known but often come from a male-oriented ‘swinging culture’). Feminist thinking has not embraced cuckoldry to this point, but that’s not going to stop me from writing about the woman’s point of view in these situations.

  • Cuckolding appears to be gaining in popularity and is a fascinating topic. What do you attribute to the growing interest in this kind of relationship?

Alex: We are entering the realm of strong views which all readers may not accept. But in my opinion a sexually empowered, modern (heterosexual) woman is at high risk of finding herself in a long term relationship with someone she may love but who is not challenging/exciting to her sexually in a jugular way. I don’t usually use the “beta male” lingo, but I think there are many men who either struggle to sexually please the women in their lives, or even if they don’t, a part of them has doubts about that which are sexually charged.

For the man, cuckolding addresses those fears in a very jugular way by imagining the girlfriend/wife being pleased in a way that the man cannot. Whether that’s a reality in the relationship, or strictly a fantasy, it’s a very potent one. This gets at some fundamental questions of cultural conditioning versus primal sexual desires.

I don’t happen to believe that women are meant to be monogamous, for example. In general, I believe once women have a primary pair bonding based on caregiving criteria (the responsible father), they are meant to continue to be sexual beyond that bonding. In other words, by choosing a long term pairing mate, the woman is likely sacrificing other male attributes pertaining to pure sexual ability and chemistry. She thinks to herself, “I’m glad I got those (alpha males) out of my system when I was younger,” but life doesn’t work like that. Sooner or later, those desires come back – with a vengeance. I see that as natural and healthy, but against the grain of cultural norms.

In my work, that female sacrifice inherent in (most) pairing selections becomes a ticking time bomb more often than not. Cuckolding frees us up to talk about what the time bomb is and reckon with it before it blasts off, creating cheating and distrust. Ironically, most – though not all – men are much better suited for devoted monogamy. Assuming they are paired properly.

And that’s why I personally think cuckolding has such a primal appeal. I realize not everyone sees it this way. Some just see cuckolding as a fun way of spicing up a loving relationship – either in fantasy or actual practice. Or they see it as a prism of male sexual fantasy. Which is true and can be a lot of fun. But the onion unravels much, much further.

Such “spicing up” is totally fair game, but for many couples I know, cuckolding’s appeal goes much deeper. As for “Why cuckolding now?” I would point you towards trends in female sexual empowerment in Western cultures, combined with increasing sexual openness and introspection in men.

  • What do you think is the biggest misconception about a cuckolding relationship?

Alex: There are plenty, mostly because there are as many varieties of cuckolding as there are flowers in the backyard. And if it works for you, then it works.

I did write about how cuckolds are NOT losers for Fanny Press: http://alexcuckoldstories.fannypress.com/?p=27

I also see a big difference between a “hot wife” and a “cuckoldress” which I also wrote about: http://alexcuckoldstories.fannypress.com/?p=35

If I had to pick one misconception above all others, it’s the idea that cuckolding is some kind of dysfunctional or cheating situation that involves either deception or wallowing in poor self-esteem. The classic definition of a cuckold implied the cheating part. Whereas I see cuckolding as a very healthy and viable relationship option for the right couple.

  • You followed up your first book with “The Education of a Cuckold: A Story of Love, Lust, and Fate.” What led you to want to write this book?

Alex: Well, in the first book, I primarily looked at the female psychology of becoming a cuckoldress, and what a woman has to overcome to embrace a cuckoldress identity and claim her sexual power in a relationship. In The Education of a Cuckold, I looked at the male evolution of a cuckold, starting at a young adult age. At that point, our character’s intense sexual experiences got mixed into a “Wait, I thought I was an alpha male” sexual identity crisis. Then, despair and loneliness. Cuckolding gradually emerges as a way of pushing through that crisis. I see the second book as complementing the first from a psychological perspective.

  • In both of your books, the cuckolds are small endowed. In your opinion do you think lesser endowed men are more likely to gravitate to cuckolding, or do you think cuckolding is more of a “mindset” than a penis measurement?

Alex: Great question! I see cuckolding as a psycho-sexual playground available to all, male or female, regardless of sexual orientation. Cuckolding is a very specific variation on the dynamics of dominance and submission that are common to BDSM subcultures. As each of us opens up sexually, we come to understand both our dominance and our submission. We also reckon with intense feelings of jealousy or control. We all land differently in these power dynamics. Some of us are more “switch”, whereas some of us discover we are much more submissive than we realized. Cuckolding is a great avenue to explore these tendencies, many of which can surprise us! So yes, it’s a mindset first and foremost.

I’ve known men of all penis sizes who are cuckolds (and who fantasize about being cuckolds). That said I do believe that small penis men are particularly drawn to cuckolding, for reasons I think are understandable.

Many men have found that feelings of inadequacy can be exciting to explore sexually with their partners. Emotionally-charged issues of jealousy and performance can be wonderful to explore, even if they bring a painful edge.

But I do think small penis men find cuckolding at a more primal level. I’ve known small penis men, for example, who felt that cuckolding was really their only way forward sexually. In other words, while anyone can explore cuckolding, small penis men may almost feel forced into it by genetic circumstance. That can be highly liberating and arousing.

And while feelings of inadequacy are common amongst men, there is a particular intensity when a man realizes the perception is not just a fantasy but the reality: on some level he is sexually inadequate to his partner. For men who have not been told the truth about such things, it can be both shocking and liberating to encounter a woman who is willing to be open about such matters, especially in a loving and compassionate way.

This is fertile ground for the small penis man, who can now seek out cuckold relationships where no topics are taboo. Or: cuckolding can simply be a way for the small penis man to open up an arena of role play and fantasizing and, most of all, truly honest sexual communication, with one’s partner, who may be thrilled to realize she no longer needs to sugar coat her desires and preferences. Not to mention openly sharing past experiences with well-endowed partners! It’s not a surprise small penis men are drawn to this, after years of nibbling around the truth and wondering what women really think.

  • Who is your target audience – men, women or both, and has anything surprised you about your audience?

Alex: My audience is really folks who are looking for erotically charged books that explore taboos around cuckolding. I write for men and for women both, because I feel cuckolding is a shared adventure. Hopefully the audience enjoys the psychological evolution of my characters, but I would never impose an agenda on a reader. I feel I can’t worry too much about the audience but try to write authentically about things that matter, and hope it comes across.

  • Do you have any plans on writing other books in the future, and if so, are you planning on writing any additional books on cuckolding, or are there other subjects or themes you are considering?

Alex: I’m not done with cuckolding anytime soon! I still see quite a bit untapped here. I’m currently working on a third book of erotic fiction on cuckolding themes, which will also be with Fanny Press. I am hoping to round out psychological themes in cuckolding relationships in the future. My next book is from a woman’s point of view again, which is probably my comfort level. The book starts to delve more into the psychology of the “bull,” the so-called alpha male that is important to bringing cuckolding themes to their peak.

I don’t think the role of the so-called bull is well understood, and it impacts the females in cuckolding situations just as much as the men – if not more so. This next book puts the central protagonist, a woman, on the spot if you will, as she is confronted by the sexual implications of being married to a cuckolding bull. Needless to say this is not an easy thing, but it makes for some exciting situations. That’s about all I can say until I finish it.

  • What formats are your books available in, and for people who might be interested in checking out your books, where can they find them?

Alex: I’m going to let Fanny Press answer that question as they work hard to make the books widely available. But I will say I am excited the first book, “From Housewife to Cuckoldress” has an audio version.

Fanny Press: Housewife to Cuckoldress is available in audio on Audible.com, iTunes, and Amazon. Both From Housewife to Cuckoldress and Education of a Cuckold are available on Amazon.com, BN.com, the European Amazons, and Amazon Japan. You can order them at any bookstore as well, and they are available in multiple eBook formats. Here are the links to the announcement pages, where you can find all the buy links:

http://fannypress.com/2011/01/31/from-housewife-to-cuckoldress-how-i-took-sexual-control-of-a-marriage-in-crisis/

http://fannypress.com/2013/10/15/the-education-of-a-cuckold-a-novel-by-alex-hathway/

Thanks for these terrific questions; I hope your readers enjoy the Interview. Keep up the great work on the lovesmallpenis blog.

Thank you for the Interview!  We look forward to reading more of your books in the future!

LSP Customer Service Survey

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A lot of the topics we write about on the blog come directly from suggestions sent to us by those of you who follow the blog.  We really appreciate your suggestions and we always do our best to write about what we know on a given subject, and then let the rest of you share your experiences and/or knowledge on the subject.   I know I can speak for my wife when I say that your comments and ideas have been fascinating and inspired us to talk and even explore many new and exciting sexual activities.  So, we have obviously benefited from your contributions, and we hope that those of you who follow our blog have likewise found value in it as well.

In thinking about all of this recently, we thought we should reach out to you and ask those of you who follow the blog what specific topics interest you the most.  We have prepared a list of topics below, and would like to ask you to rate your interest in the subjects on a scale of 0 (no interest) to 5 (very high interest).   Besides rating them, if you could also let us know if there is a specific aspect of any topic you would like to see us cover in more detail, please let us know that too.  And, if there are any other small penis subjects you’re interested in but don’t see them on the list, by all means, let us know.

  • Small Penis Acceptance
  • Small Penis Relationships
  • Best Practices in Small Penis Sex
  • SPT/SPH
  • Cock Comparisons
  • Dildos and Sex Toys
  • Dominant-submissive or Female Led Relationships
  • Cuckolding/Swinging or other Alternative Lifestyles
  • Male Chastity
  • Withholding Sex
  • Orgasm Tease/Denial
  • Outing
  • Panties
  • Small Penis Condoms
  • Others?

Please post your thoughts here, or if you prefer, please feel free to send your suggestions to one or both of us at the email addresses listed below.  To those of you who are “Lurkers” out there, feel free to contact us personally and let us know what you like too.  We have had a number of you recently that have reached out to us, and we really appreciate hearing from you too.

Lastly, it’s not too late to take the SPT Survey.  While we posted the initial results from the first 19 who participated a few months ago, we have had many others recently contact us wanting to fill it out and wondering if it is too late.  This is going to be an ongoing project, and we will be posting updated statistics from our survey respondents in the near future.  So, if you would be interested in participating just drop Hottie and email and she will send you out the survey questionnaire.

As always thanks for your feedback and suggestions!

1hotwife:  hotwife2013@aol.com

Steve:  play613796@aol.com

Why We Chose Chastity

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On July 10, 2014 we wrote and posted the article, “Why is Male Chastity Appealing?” What inspired us to offer this article was a result of conversations we had with a fellow blog member and also hearing from others that were in this lifestyle.  To be honest, prior to that time, male chastity and orgasm tease and denial (which, by the way, do go hand-in-hand) was not something either of us had any interest in at all.

After reading one email in particular, my wife said to me, “Wow, you’re going into lockdown!”   She was completely captivated and extremely turned on by how excited this guy was by his wife, and how focused he had become on her since he entered chastity.  He also acknowledged that he was a chronic masturbator, and how his masturbation habits were now completely under his wife’s control.  The other thing that got my wife’s attention was the power and control the woman clearly had over her husband.

When my wife shared this email with me, it was very clear this was something that really excited her.  What was completely surprising to me was that I was just as turned on by these descriptions as she was.  Within a week, I was in male chastity and have been ever since.  As such, I thought it might be helpful to explain how both Hottie and I view chastity and why we came to the conclusion that we should try it.  Here are just a few examples of how we both view it:

Steve’s View:

  • Psychological Implications of Chastity:   Neither Hottie or I have any interest in chastity affecting my masculinity.  I am athletic, intelligent, confident, and successful and neither of us want to compromise these obvious assets.  She would not want me to be wimpy or a doormat, nor would I want to be one.  In our chastity relationship it is solely between her and I and completely transparent to the outside world.  I do not have to compromise this part of who I am in order to willingly enter chastity and be submissive to her.
  • Ultimate Act of Submission: We have been moving into more of a Dom-sub, female-led relationship for the last several months.  The more I thought about male chastity, the more I realized (Hottie did too) that entering male chastity was the ultimate act of submission to my Dominant female.  This recognition was both exciting and liberating for me.
  • Chronic Masturbator:  Of course, being a chronic masturbator, that “little” habit of mine has been completely put under her control, and chastity has definitely limited it to supervised masturbation, and I welcomed that advantage of it and know it’s actually been beneficial.
  • Snap!:  On the previous chastity article, Hottie asked readers if she should put me in chastity and one of our male followers said, “I think you should definitely try it.  I would like to hear what Steve thought when that lock is snapped and he no longer has control.”  Well, this may be really hard to understand unless you have experienced it, but I told Hottie, that somehow it felt strangely comforting.  It feels natural and whenever I hear that snap, it’s a reminder of our new and improved relationship!
  • Day-to-day chastity: When you are in chastity, wearing the heavier cage on your penis and balls is an ongoing reminder of your chastity relationship.  You are aware of it constantly, and you realize it is an ongoing symbol of your submission.   Every time I think about it, it serves as an ongoing reminder of a positive change of direction for our relationship.

Hottie’s View:

  • Power and Control: The power and control are definitely two of the major attractions and benefits for my wife with male chastity.  For Hottie, it’s sexually thrilling for her to be my “Keyholder” and have complete dominance and control over my orgasms.   As she says, “If you control the penis, you control the man.”  This is clearly demonstrated by her ability to determine if and when I will have orgasms.  We had two recent posts from women that resonated with her:

Janie said, “The other part of me gets off on the power trip, on knowing his whole world revolves around me and knowing the depth of his infatuation and focus on me. I love raising his hopes with a single word…then sending them crashing back down again. We aren’t into whips or chains or other more visceral forms of domination.”  We, like Janie, aren’t into whips and chains either; it’s the power and control that turns my wife on!

Larissa said:  “As far as your question goes Steve, well yes the power and control component is intoxicating for both of us, but it is just one component of why orgasm denial and chastity works for us. There is always such sexual electricity between us.

Hottie agreed with both of these women’s views on chastity, and has also used the words “sexual electricity” to explain it too.

  • More Attention and Focus: For Hottie, another important benefit of chastity is the intensified focus on her.  When you have been in chastity, and your wife/partner is your keyholder, you will definitely have more focus and adoration on her, and she loves this aspect of it.  And she wants it to be clear, it’s not that she felt that she wasn’t getting my attention before, but once I went into chastity, it ratcheted up the intensity to a whole new level.
  • Masturbation Habits: Hottie knew my masturbation habits were excessive at times, and she felt that chastity would curtail this activity.  When Hottie has sex with me, she wants to be assured that I bring my “A” game every time, and if I can masturbate uncontrollably, she feels like she may not be getting my best effort.  Hottie thought that Larissa confirmed this in her comments:

“From a woman’s perspective – my husband certainly has the smallest penis out of any of my former lovers, by some measure, and was certainly masturbating considerably more than any of them ever had – about 1-2 times per day. Is that a factor of penis size or greater access to Internet porn – not sure, but I do think penis size has something to do with it. I do notice that men with smaller penises tend to get erect far more quickly than the larger guys.

“Anyway, we have managed to change things over the last year. Whereas previously my husband tended to masturbate 1-2 times a day, through adopting a lifestyle of orgasm control/denial and chastity, we have brought that down to him having an orgasm about 1-2 times a month – at least that has been the average over the last 6 months. He now does not have any private little masturbation sessions, and only has an orgasm with my permission.”

  • The Keyholder: This goes back to power and control, but Hottie loves being my “Keyholder.” She has made it clear to me that I will remain in chastity until she decides I can come out, and I always have to ask her permission first.  If Hottie leaves town, I still must remain in chastity, and if an emergency does arrive, she has hidden a key for me, but I still have to ask for it. We both also recognize there are times, when it is not practical for me to be in chastity. On those occasions, which may include business or personal travel, etc., Hottie will allow me to remove my chastity cage for the duration of those scenarios.
  • Sensual Domination:  Hottie considers chastity to be the ultimate form of sensual domination, and she understands that it actually takes strength to submit or to share power.   For her my willingness to submit to chastity not only fits in perfectly with our definition of a Dom-sub, female-led relationship, it’s a concrete example of it.

SEX!

As was said above, one major benefit that Hottie and I will both acknowledge is the sexual electricity chastity creates for us.  Some keyholders and their males in chastity have developed a regular “cum” schedule, but Hottie prefers that we have no set schedule, because she wants me to be continually “motivated” and by not knowing when I might be released keeps her firmly in control.

In the meantime, when she wants to have sex, she knows I will give her the best foreplay, the best oral sex, and best big dildo sex she has ever had.   She might have 5, 7 or 10 orgasms while I’m locked up.  Because the sole focus is on her sexual pleasure, there is something extraordinarily powerful for both us with this dynamic.  At other times, she might release me from chastity for supervised masturbation, sloppy seconds, or she might just want little penis sex.  Because I never know when I will be released, and when I am, what that might mean, it’s like I’m continually sexually charged.  It is simply a dynamic that unless you have experienced it, you have no idea how powerful the mystery and tension can be.   As one of our male followers who has experienced male chastity explained, “My constant and undivided attention and unparalleled sexual pleasures of whatever type and frequency she desires.”  This is exactly what turns my wife on.

Penis Size and Male Chastity:  Of course, you don’t have to have a small penis to enjoy chastity, but I do know for me, that there is definitely a correlation of me having a small penis and my desire to be in chastity.  I asked my wife if she saw a correlation and she explained it to me this way, “Yes, I do think there is a correlation.  You “little” guys want our attention on your little penises, and through chastity we do focus on your little guy!”  My wife completely understands that for her (and me) there is a definite connection between my small penis and chastity.  For example, if I ask her why I’m in chastity, she might say two words, “Four Inches.”  Or, when I’m pleasuring her with her big dildo cock while locked in chastity, she might say, “It’s so much bigger and better, you know this is why you’re in chastity.”  And if she allows me to have big pussy sex, it’s validation to both us why I need to be in chastity.  For me, it’s a mental mind fuck of epic proportions, and my excitement isn’t lost on her either.

Mutual Decision:  Like everything else on our small penis relationship journey, the decision to enter chastity was a mutual decision.  It wasn’t that we felt like we were lacking anything, but we acknowledged that this concept was intriguing to us and potentially very exciting.  It has been all of that and much more.  The fact that it was a mutual decision turns us both on.  Because we were both equally interested in it, it allowed us to define the parameters and how it would work best for us.

Chastity is a sexual activity that some couples do merely as a little SPT fun or a playful activity they engage in once in a while to spice things up. For others, it is a more permanent lifestyle which they take more seriously.  We have even had some guys who have explained that they were in, what I would call, “Psychological Chastity” in that they do not wear a chastity cage, but are “mentally” in chastity and their partners control their orgasms without the use of a chastity device.

Lastly, the key phrase above “Mutual Decision” is what’s really important.  Male chastity does not have to include whips and chains, BDSM, nor does it have to lead to anything else. It really is like any other sexual practice, if it’s something you and your partner are interested in, then the two of you should talk about it and define what it means to both of you.

So, here are your questions:

(1)  Are you in a chastity relationship currently, and if so, do you like it or not?

(2)  If you are not in chastity, would you like to be, and if so, why?

(3)  If you are in chastity or have experienced it before, what would you say are the benefits or disadvantages for this kind of relationship?

As always, please feel free to add in anything else you think is important!

Cuckolding: Why Women Have Legitimate Concerns About It

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The topic of cuckolding is one of the most popular subjects we have introduced and continue to discuss on the Blog.  It’s also one of the more controversial.   Some of our readers are openly in cuckold relationships, while many, many others desire to explore this kind of relationship with their partner, and yes, we do have those who have no interest in the subject whatsoever.

Those of you who have followed our blog know that Steve desires that I cuckold him.  While he makes it no secret that he desires this kind of relationship, I think he has done a really good job in being objective in his treatment of it. I thought his article, “Is Cuckolding A Viable Relationship Alternative?” posted on January 12, 2014 was especially helpful.  We have also introduced and explored Fantasy Cuckolding, which is a less risky alternative to the real thing, but is still a lot of fun.

One of the issues related to cuckolding that we haven’t covered in much depth is a woman’s concerns about it.   We were recently contacted by a few women that have asked us if we could share our thoughts on the subject specifically in terms of those concerns women typically have about it.   I thought this was an excellent idea for an article, because if you do any searching about cuckolding on the Internet, you don’t often see anything written about legitimate concerns a woman might have about it.  Instead, what you’re likely to find is how great of a lifestyle it is, and if they list any concerns women might actually have, they are often downplayed or even dismissed.

Since Steve and I have seriously considered entering into a cuckold lifestyle ourselves, I thought I could at least share my personal thoughts, and the host of concerns I have as a married woman who is considering it.  So, what I have attempted to do is address the concerns I have, and I think most women would have many of these same concerns if their husband ever approached them about engaging in such a lifestyle.  I have broken them down into three categories:  (1) Initial Concerns, (2) Secondary Concerns, and (3) Final Concerns.  All are equally important and should be considered with the utmost care and respect of both parties.

Initial Concerns:

  • Why does he want me to do this?  This is the first question any woman will ask themselves.  This question will then quickly be followed up with others such as, is he unhappy with our sex life?  Why does he want me to have sex with another man?  We may even think he has some sinister motive for asking us to consider this.  Does he think I’m a slut, and by agreeing to do this, it will “prove” it to him?  Or, is he really looking for an excuse to have sex with other women?  These are legitimate questions most women will ask.  I consider myself to be very sexually open and willing to try almost anything, but when Steve said that cuckolding would really turn him on, to be honest, I was floored.  The prospective cuckold thinks and might even say, “This is a great idea! You get to have all the sex you want, with whomever you want, whenever you want, what’s not to like?” Most “would be” cucks think any woman would sign up for this without a second thought, and unfortunately, those that do, are usually doing so for all the wrong reasons, and tend to regret it.  What’s far more common is they will think about this proposition and all of the associated questions for a very long time.  Some may even reject it outright initially.
  • What is his real motivation? I don’t’ know about the rest of you, but in my husband’s case, he wanted me to experience big cock sex.  Even though I had perfectly great sex with my husband despite the fact that he has a very small penis, I know this was his major motivation.  How did I know?  Well, every time he talked about it, his little penis would become stiff instantly.  Hard cocks (small or large) don’t lie, and his erection proved to me that seeing me with a man who had a larger cock was definitely the motivation behind it as far as Steve was concerned.  Plus, the fact that I have never had big cock sex was another motivation behind it for him.  I know the idea really, really turned him on, and he wanted me to be able to experience something he could not give me and which I had never experienced before.  As I became more and more familiar with the Blog, and in talking to many other small endowed men, I discovered that his motivation was not only sincere, but was also shared by many small endowed men, who have the same fantasy.

So, once I understood why he wanted me to do this and the motivation behind it, did I jump immediately on board?  Not at all, because to be honest, I knew there was much, much more to consider.  In fact, I should also point out, that just wrapping my arms around these initial concerns and even understanding his motivation behind it weren’t resolved in my head overnight.  Rather, I spent months just trying to sort it all out.

Secondary Concerns:

  • Considering a new paradigm: I grew up believing in the concept of traditional marriage.  Therefore, even though I was sexually very open, I had trouble embracing and accepting the concept of a nontraditional marriage.  I would venture to guess most women grew up believing similarly, so how do you introduce another man into your relationship, and reconcile that with your long held view of monogamy?  This is definitely not easy, and for many women, it’s impossible no matter how enticing it might sound.  To embrace it means accepting a new relationship paradigm, which is not easy for a woman to do.
  • Will you view your husband differently? This is a concern that I believe most women would have.  Will you view him in some way as less “manly,” or will you consider him to be simply enlightened?    If the other man is sexually superior, does that lessen your husband in your eyes?  If it is better, will you lose respect for him, or will you view him in a more positive light since he encouraged you to explore this?
  • How will cuckolding impact the sex life you have with your partner? Will this spur him on to really compensate and compete for you?  Will you want to have more sex with him or less sex?  And, what do you do if he wants to abdicate all of his responsibility for sexually satisfying you to your Bull?
  • Emotional/Physical Attachment: Another major issue is what if the wife becomes emotionally attached to her new Bull?   This is another important consideration to discuss and should not be downplayed.  It is a real fear of many women who consider this activity.  For a cuckolding arrangement to work the woman has to be able to separate out sex from the emotional involvement.  And, don’t forget it can work both ways, what if her Bull becomes emotionally attached to her?  It’s not just women who can become emotional about sex, men can too.  The reality for most women is, there at least has to be a physical attraction for the other male, and depending on whether or not it is an ongoing arrangement, an emotional attachment could develop too.

Final Concerns:

So, you have gotten this far, and you think you might be ready to cuckold your husband right?  Are there even more concerns and issues to contemplate?  Yes and here are some of the more obvious ones to me.

  • The Manipulative Cuck: I have communicated with enough cucks and “would be” cucks to know that some can be VERY manipulative.   They often suggest cuckolding in the first place because it excites them and makes their little penises stiff.  But, then they want to be in control and choreograph the entire scenario.  They may even want to tell you what size cock your Bull should have, or even want to select YOUR Bull.  They may have the whole scenario laid out where they want to be there and watch, and stroke off, or participate in some fashion.  Some may even want to video tape the entire session.  It’s as if their cuckoldress is their own personal porn queen.  For me, this begs the question, who is really in control here?  Is it the “submissive” cuck, or the dominant cuckoldress?  In this scenario, the submissive cuck has manipulated his cuckoldress to do exactly what he wants.  I don’t know about the rest of you prospective cuckoldresses out there, but this doesn’t work for me. If I decide to cuckold my husband, he knows it’s my pussy, and my rules, which is the way it should be.
  • Selecting Your Bull: Selecting your Bull sounds easy enough, but it really isn’t.  Do you prefer the Bull to be single, married but in a dysfunctional sexual relationship (if he is married, this could cause a lot of problems for obvious reasons), or newly divorced where he wants sex, but may not have the resources to date traditionally, and may even have a place to play.  Do you look for a Bull at a local bar, or go out of town to find one?  Do you advertise on the Internet at one of the numerous Married Women Dating Sites, or look elsewhere?  If you find a Bull, is it a one-time thing, or are you looking for a Bull who will service you on a regular basis?  These are all major questions that must be answered BEFORE you even begin your search.
  • There is no “Reset” Button:  Once you cuckold your husband, there is no turning back.  It’s not like you can undo what has been done, so it’s like the saying, “be careful for what you wish for, because you might just get it.”  It’s often been said when a couple considers swinging, that the husband drags his wife kicking and screaming to their first swingers party, but then has to take her home kicking and screaming because she wants to stay.  It can be similar with cuckolding, once you introduce it to her, she may come to really enjoy the sexual variety, and not want to give it up.  The reality that every “would be” cuckold must face is, once your wife experiences the raw, masculine power of a thick 8” cock between her legs, she may not view sex with her husband in the same way again, but by then, there is no going back.
  • Personal Safety: A woman and even a couple’s participation in this activity require common sense, and considering personal safety, should be at the TOP of the list. In addition, how much personal information you should divulge, if any is another VERY serious consideration.
  • STDs: If you watch any cuckold movies or videos, you will see “cum” literally “cumming” all over the place. You will see snowballs, creampies and everything else, but what you typically won’t see are condoms.  Why?  Because it’s not as titillating as seeing cum dripping from every body cavity.  But the reality is, any sexual activity comes with risks.  Understanding those risks and taking preventative measures is essential.  Remember, when you have unprotected sex with someone new, you are having sex with everyone they ever had sex with.  Sexual safety is, or should be, of paramount importance.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, while cuckolding may be the ultimate fantasy of many guys, and can even be appealing to some women, there are obviously a whole litany of issues and concerns that must be dealt with beforehand.   To ignore them would be foolish, and even if you feel like you can honestly address all of the concerns you both have, you may still not choose to do it, instead opting for a much safer alternative of a fantasy cuckolding scenario.  Will I cuckold my husband?  That’s a good question.  One thing I have learned over the last few years is to never, say never!  :)

What do the rest of you think?  As always, we welcome your thoughts on the subject.

 

Masturbation Habits and the Small Penis

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I have recently read a number of quotes like this one:  “Studies show that small penis men masturbate three times as much as average size penis men, and ten times the rate of men with large cocks.”  I have actually seen several comments like this on the blog over the last 2-3 years, but no academic “evidence” or official studies to back it up.  I suppose the theory behind this might be that the bigger the penis the more sexual opportunities that a man has and conversely the smaller the penis results in diminished sexual opportunities.  Whether or not this is true is anybody’s guess, but in my husband’s case, it is true.  There was a time in my life when he wasn’t as sexually aggressive due to his small penis, and I know he resorted to masturbation frequently as a result.  Had he had a bigger penis, he might have been more aggressive, and thus had less of a need to masturbate.  But again, that’s just Steve.

But, since this is a small penis blog, I thought I would ask you to be honest with me and tell me about your masturbation habits.  I asked Steve to fess up and answer the following questions which he did.

How often do You Masturbate?  OK, he admitted it, when it comes to masturbation, he has been pretty prolific.  He loves stroking off, what guy doesn’t?  How often?  Well, it depends.  He might go a week without masturbating, and there might be other weeks when he jacks off daily.  If I’m out of town, well he admitted that he might stroke off 2, 3 or 4 times a day.  I guess he is what I would call an “opportunist” and will stroke off his little dick whenever possible. 

What is in your personal “Spank Bank”?  Like a lot of guys, he is pretty resourceful when it comes to masturbating.  The old Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler magazines always offered a treasure trove of masturbation fodder.  He has masturbated fantasizing about almost every conceivable female body type too.  Yes, he loves the prototypical Playboy Centerfold body, but he also “appreciates” more voluptuous women, and women of all races and body types.   I guess you could call him an “equal opportunity” masturbator!  

When the Internet came along, that opened up a whole warehouse of additional masturbation options.  Because he is a small endowed submissive, he loves watching video clips or movies of big cock, alpha males fucking.  He loves seeing a woman’s response to big cock sex, and a large cock, dominant male can fuck in virtually any position, seems to last forever and when he does cum, he cums buckets.  He often fantasizes about me being on the receiving end of such a big cock. :-)  He also admitted that it’s very erotic for him to watch a guy with a big cock masturbating because it’s so much different than how he strokes off. 

Phone sex operators?  Yep, he has done that too and said it was a lot of fun.  Internet chatting has also been a lot of fun.   He likes chatting because he said you can weave any kind of erotic scenario you want – which usually results in a very “happy ending”.   Erotic literature can and has been a source of masturbation fodder for him too.  And then there are a lot of past sexual situations or memories, that maybe even at the time turned him off, but now he finds himself being very aroused by them.  About the only thing he says he hasn’t done is web cam masturbation. 

So, obviously for Steve, when it comes to masturbation, he says you are only limited by your imagination!  

Does your wife know you jack off and how much you do it?  I know if some guy’s wives asked them if they ever jacked off, they would probably deny it.  Luckily for Steve, he and I both masturbate with equal enthusiasm and are not ashamed of it.  He masturbates more than I do, but there have been times when even I have confessed to doing it when he had no clue that I did it.

Now, how about the rest of you “little” guys out there?  How would you answer the above questions?  And, please be honest!  

Psychological Sabotage and Small Penis Sexual Performance

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We try to offer our readers a wide variety of topics that are interesting, thought-provoking and generate a lot of discussion and debate.  My wife and I love to talk and write about sex.  It’s not enough for us to just accept that something turns us on; we want to know why it turns us on.  Is there something about it that psychologically turns us on?  Is it physical or is it biological?  We find sexual exploration fascinating.  Along those lines, I’m sure the title of this post got your attention, and we are very curious to hear what your thoughts are on the subject.

When I recently published the article, Do You Wish You Had A Smaller Penis? I wanted to introduce a psychological aspect of that question, but didn’t want to muddy the waters and thought it deserved to be a standalone article on its own merits, so here it is.

It has been said by many, that our brain is our “biggest” sexual organ, and I believe that most of us would probably agree with that statement. I spoke to one of our followers recently who confessed that he could not get very hard during sex and was unable to provide any “thrusting” during intercourse at all.  I asked him if he felt it was a physical or psychological issue, and he said that it was psychological because he wanted his wife to cuckold him, and by being unsatisfactory in bed, it might increase the chances of it happening.   When I heard that, a light bulb went on for me, and I wondered, do we (small endowed men) psychologically sabotage our relationships, and if we do, is it consciously or subconsciously motivated, and how common is it?

In talking with my wife about this, we both agreed that another very common sexual problem that small endowed men have shared with us is Premature Ejaculation (PE).  This seems to be much more common among small endowed men than either of us would have thought.  Now, let me be clear, I’m not suggesting that men with PE are psychologically sabotaging their sexual performance because I simply don’t know, but I would be curious to hear from men who experience PE what they attribute it too.  Since there could be medical reasons (such as ED or PE) associated with performance issues,  I feel it’s necessary to add my usual disclaimer upfront that I’m not a medical expert, and would encourage any man who feels that they might have a medically associated sexual problem to seek help from trained physicians. Consequently, even though ED and PE could be either physically or psychologically driven, I want to avoid diving into those subjects too deeply because I don’t feel qualified to address them.  But, are there other, more obvious examples of potential psychological sabotage?

As I thought about it, I realized that I haven’t seen any studies or empirical evidence on this subject at all.  I have no idea how common it is, or whether or not it is more common among small-endowed men versus average or well-endowed men.  But it is a fascinating subject.  So, in thinking about it, I wondered if there were other examples of sexual sabotage that we gravitate to, maybe without even thinking about it or realizing it.  Perhaps there are, and might even include some of the subjects we talk a lot about on this blog for example:

  • Why do we crave SPT or SPH?
  • Why do we want our wives to use dildos that aren’t just larger than us, but substantially larger?
  • Why do we want our partners to “out” us?
  • Why do we want our partners to compare our very small penises with men who are supremely more endowed than we are?
  • Why do we love big pussy sex and “sloppy seconds?”
  • Why do we enjoy tease & denial and chastity?
  • Why do we wish we had even smaller penises?

Do we desire some or all of these things to underscore to our partners just how small and inadequate we are by comparison?  Do we subconsciously want them to desire, and perhaps even prefer larger endowed men?  Or, do we do it consciously, merely for a little SPT play to enhance our relationships?  To me, these are fascinating questions.

I had never pondered these questions personally, but in thinking about this article, I reflected on it from my own personal point of view.  What I thought was I would like to be able to say that my excitement and interest in all of these things was conscious – merely to enhance our SPT sex play.   But, if I’m honest with myself, I think many of them are subconscious, and examples of psychological sabotage efforts.  Why? Because I would love for my wife to be able to experience big cock sex.  I can’t deny that this is my ultimate fantasy and I think subconsciously, the smaller and more inadequate I feel, the more likely it is to happen.

For me, this was an important revelation.  The term psychological sabotage has a very negative connotation associated with it, but for good reason.  I don’t think it is healthy to sabotage a relationship regardless of whether it is consciously or subconsciously motivated.  The important lesson learned for me is that I can’t do anything consciously or subconsciously that is destructive to our sexual relationship.  As far as sex goes, I need to be the best lover I can be within my obvious limitations.   I need to compensate, be creative, imaginative and resourceful in the bedroom.   But, this doesn’t mean we need to stop doing any of the things listed above, but will now do them with a new light shed on them.  While I can’t deny that I would love for my wife to experience big cock sex, I can’t psychologically sabotage our relationship to make this happen.  I also can’t consciously push her in this direction either.  If it happens at all, it has to be something she wants to do and we need to agree on it in the context of our relationship.

Lastly, this is a fascinating and complex topic, and I would be very interested to know if any of you are aware of any serious research efforts on the subject.  How common is psychological sabotage in sexual relationships?  Is there any correlation between penis size and psychological sabotage?  Is there a biological component to it?  What are the typical examples of it? How does it affect relationships?

As always, I’m very curious to hear what others think about it, which leads me to today’s questions.  When it comes to your sex life:

  • Have you ever psychologically sabotaged a sexual relationship?
  • If so, do you believe it was consciously or subconsciously driven?
  • If so, what thing(s) have you done to sabotage your sexual relationship?
  • If you have sabotaged your relationship, what would you attribute it too: (a) Your desire for SPT, (b) You want to underscore your perceived inadequacy, or (c) Your desire to be a cuckold? (d) Something else?

As always, feel free to add anything else that you think is relevant to the subject, and we would enjoy hearing any thoughts you have on this fascinating topic.

Rougedmount: A Woman’s Thoughts on Sex, Relationships and Penis Size

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One of our longtime contributors, and also a fellow blogger, is a woman known as Rougedmount.  We really enjoy her contributions on our blog, and we thought it might be fun to do an interview with her that would allow her the opportunity to share her in-depth views on a variety of sex and relationships topics.

For those of you who have seen any of her posts, or checked out her blog, you know that she has an amazing gift to be able to express her thoughts on any topic. Whatever subject she writes about is always written with great clarity, rich in detail and vividly described.  She is also not bashful talking about any sexual topic and letting you know exactly what she thinks about it and why.  I know the guys on this blog really do enjoy reading an “unfiltered” view of what women really think about penis size, sex and relationships.  From that standpoint, her contributions are invaluable to all of us.

We hope you enjoy this interview with our fellow blogger and friend, Rougedmount!

Interview Questions:

  • Can you provide us with a little bit of your background?

I am attractive by some standards and generally get unwanted attention for my appearance. I certainly do not need any of the extra attention my looks combined with my words, would bring me. I think how I look has helped me to understand some of the issues a man with a small penis has. I am judged constantly on what people SEE and not what they experience. Some men LIKE my body type while others HATE it. I do not focus on those who don’t like me; instead I focus on the type of man who does. A man with a small penis has to do the exact same thing.

Who I am is complex. I am exactly the same as everyone else in that my history has shaped and defined me, but never broken me. I won’t allow it. I was an abused child, an Independent woman, I grew up too soon. I’m educated, I’m Alpha, I’m sexually submissive but only to men who are actually dominant and if they aren’t then I crush them verbally.

I get male attention. I am far from perfect but I have a presence and confidence that carries me. People always assume that “I’m someone”. I looked like Jessica Rabbit for a majority of my life and perhaps that has something to do with my disregard for my looks. People assume I am younger than I am and I have one word for them “sunscreen”. I was a child of the 80’s who didn’t look like it as I have always been ‘non-conformist’ as to what I looked like compared to others.

I can ride a motorcycle, a stick shift, a tractor and a horse all with equal skill. I sail, I kayak, I swim, I write, I sketch with Ink and do water color when I have time. I cook from scratch, I have a massive garden. I do all the home renovations and yard work.

My story is like many others. Married over 25 yrs. and was faithful for the first 22. Counselling, therapy, separation then reconciliation; repeat for 10 years. Learning he lied time and again. Learning that some things are too big to get over, even though you try for 15 years and realizing that you should never have tried to work things out in the first place.

I started writing online as a ‘diary’ and had no idea how blogging worked. I wrote for 2 yrs. before anyone read anything. One day I was curious about a little orange light that flashed while I was writing and had never seen it do that before and so I clicked on it. WOW. People could see what I write and had been commenting. There was a whole world in here I had no idea existed.

I write about my past, my present and my fantasy. I have real life mixed in with stories. I write when something comes into my head and have discovered I have writers’ Attention deficit disorder. I am very focused on writing daily now. I need it, it’s cathartic. It helps me focus and grow.

I don’t have a writing genre; I am not focused on stats or style. I write for me and if what I say holds value for others, that both amazes me and inspires me to continue expressing myself.

  • You’re a regular follower and contributor of our blog, how did you find us, and what appeal or value does it have for you?

I can’t remember how I discovered your blog. I think based on how I normally find blogs, is that you may have posted something on one of my posts and so, of course, I clicked on your blog to read some of your material and know who it was who had an interest of what I was writing about. I am not a techie person (as you know) and so I have no idea how to search for certain topics.

To be honest, I never would have thought about searching for anything under “small penis” anyway. It was a topic I am more than familiar with and I thought would hold no real value to me. My spouse has one (a small penis), he kept it from me and I resent him for many years over it. I had to learn through trial and error over 17 years, what I could have read about in a few hours, if I had read your blog at the beginning of my marital journey.

Your blog gave me insight to something I had spent a lifetime, trying to figure out. It literally felt like I was seeing all the dots connect, so I could see the big picture, finally. Of course, the knowledge came too late for me in regards to my marriage plus it’s not exactly relevant as my spouse is 100% non-compliant and combative when it comes to discussing anything sexual. Even though it’s not benefited our relationship as I had hoped, it has changed things, and is changing things. I am just unsure of where they are going.

But that’s WHY I loved your blog so much. It was like I had access to other men, with the same issue my spouse had and in the various responses and conversations I read, I was learning what MAY have been going through his mind, if he ever thought to open his mouth and SAY something (anything), other than this brutal silence I’ve had to live with. I am a communicator, I need expression, and so his refusal has almost killed me. It’s damaged me in ways I can’t even find words to express.

The appeal your blog has for me is that it brings me understanding. It gives me the opportunity to express how I actually feel and then get honest response back…good and bad…which helps me grow as a woman. It’s let me appreciate men in a vastly different way than I had before and that’s been unexpected. It truly is a resource for me and I am sure many others who have marital issues, but don’t understand that they may come from a man’s image of himself and his small penis.

For years I ignored the fact my spouse had a small penis. Why would I focus on something that didn’t matter to me? I loved him, he sexually excited and pleased me and I married him because I never wanted to lose it. What mattered was he didn’t use his penis; or rather he stopped using it with me after I had kids. Once I learned that the way he acted may have had something to do with how he perceived himself, because of his penis size, it was an Aha moment for me. It won’t change my relationship with my spouse because he is adamantly opposed to moving forward, but it’s made me aware that I have to move on without him. How that will happen, I am unsure of.

  • What has surprised you the most about the small-endowed men who participate and contribute frequently on our blog?

The biggest surprise for me in reading this blog is how angry some men are at their penis size. How they blame the women in their past, the women in their future and project self-pity and shame about something they have NO control over. They seem content to remain uneducated about intimacy and orgasm and just want to focus on the ONE thing that is not possible for them, which is deep penetration and stretching a woman’s pussy by the sheer girth of a big cock.

Until reading this blog, I truly believed a man’s penis size was not something they focused on, other than in the normal aspect of penis pride that I ‘thought’ all men shared. I thought their opinions were similar to a woman’s when thinking about their own breast size. Meaning, big or small, wasn’t an issue past puberty. I had no idea a man’s small penis could impact a man’s entire sexual development or preferences. I certainly did not know that a man with a small penis would want to be teased or humiliated. That amazed me and astounded me. I came to understand the teasing and could see how it works. I learned very quickly that the opportunity was certainly there if you wanted to take advantage of it as a woman. For normal, competitive men, teasing is like being wafted with pheromones.

  • You have indicated that you are pretty open sexually, and as such, what sexual fetish, kink or fantasy turns you on the most and why, and would you ever try it?

Sexuality. It’s an awesome thing. I was virtually celibate for 22 years. Rediscovering myself has been a blessing and a curse.  Because so much of my life, the entire focus of my sexual desire, a man’s cock, was kept from me, all of my fantasies tend to surround anything to do with a hard cock or hard cocks and a man’s ejaculate. Having 1-2 lovers at the same time or having 4 men to service my sexual needs. Sigh…I can’t even start to type about it without going off on a tangent. I love a man’s body. I love how sex feels. I love when a man cums…love watching it seeing it, feeling it, touching it, tasting it. I know without a doubt I could easily live with 2-3 men and take care of all their sexual needs.

My ultimate fantasy would be to live openly in a cuckold relationship or even in a polyamorous one so I could have 2 full time partners, every single day.

  • If you were in a relationship with an attractive, small-endowed man who completely accepted himself, and was open to try anything, what would that relationship look like, and how would you expect him to compensate for his small penis size?

He would use toys on me 100% of the time before he entered me when we were at home. He would be willing to give me quickies when we were out in a public like situation, so I could feel the sweet slippery seed on my thighs when out. It simply makes me feel sexier to have cum on my thighs. He would 100% have to allow me to have lovers. My body requires penetration from a big male cock to be truly satisfied. Toys are only fine when a man is using them on me. When I need big cock sex, I need it. It’s that simple.

  • OK, I have to ask this question. When it comes to penis size, how important is it to you personally, and what is the ideal size for you?

Penis size: the best lover I have ever had, BY FAR, is perhaps 6 inches and of average thickness that is proportionate to length. He has smaller, tighter testicles. It’s not his size, it’s what he does. OMG…it’s what he does! The weight of his hands make up for any lack of weight between his legs. The demanding kisses take my breath away. By the time he enters me, he has made me so aroused that I am as close to death as you can get while still having a beating heart and even then it is skipping beats.

Jesus…his cock is an extension of his soul and when he enters me I could die from how much it fills me to every single place I never knew needed filling. And I think THAT is what a man’s penis size really is. Every woman is searching for the thing that fills her soul, the person who fills it and its why some cocks work and others don’t. Some cocks fit better because there is so much of the man in them that the size is irrelevant as they are the right size for the souls of the other person.

I’ve had much smaller and much bigger and nothing works as perfectly as this man’s cock. My preference for a cock NOT attached to this man, is about a thick 8 inches simply because I love the variety of sexual positions available and his girth will guarantee my immediate orgasm. Yes, I’ll be sore after. But that’s the point.

  • If a young, married woman came up to you in confidence and said that her husband had a very peculiar request – he wanted to be teased because he had a small penis, what advice would you give her?

This scares me. Many men ‘think’ they can handle it and can’t. Many men love the fantasy and push for the reality, they get the reality then they FREAK OUT. Here is what every woman needs to know. If you give him this request, if you give him the teasing or have it lead to an actual cuckold relationship, you HAVE TO be prepared to lose the relationship in the event it was too much for him to handle in real life. If you aren’t prepared to lose the man and the marriage in the event he DOES flip out, then don’t do it.

You cannot trust his word that he knows how he will react. He doesn’t know if he’s never had to face those feelings before. You have to have the patience of a SAINT in order for him to deal with his feelings and quite frankly, it is not going to be fun for you. He is going to struggle with accepting his own sexuality and you will be blamed and you will be resented and you will be held responsible for everything that he doesn’t like about how he feels.

Can your relationship survive you carrying it while he tries to figure things out? I would have to say that if you are verbally going to go down this path, then do it for years before you make any small attempts to transition it into the real world. Read books, watch porn together, change the lifestyle towards what you want to end up with and then start incorporating things gradually. This is the only way you can trust that he is actually ready for what he says he wants.

  • If you could offer any advice to a guy who has a small penis and you knew he was struggling with it, what advice would you give?

I am afraid I don’t have the patience right now to be kind about it. I simply don’t understand people who struggle with something you can’t change. You have a functioning penis that brings you pleasure. FUCKING USE IT.

Find someone who is aroused by it. Learn about fetish and kink. Appreciate toys and the hands you have to use them on people. Listen to how she responds and the things she says she likes and be grateful you have your hearing. Look at how wet she gets and how she spends time getting ready to be with you and appreciate your vision. I am NEVER going to be tall and leggy. I will never attract the type of man who likes tall and leggy women. Guess what?    I. don’t. care.

You will never be a heavy cock swinging, well hung bull who can pound a pussy senseless. FIND AN ALTERNATE ROUTE! Do you stand there at an intersection and carry on when the preferred road is blocked or do you discover a different road to take to get you to the same destination?  Just stop sitting there whining about the road closure and start to fucking drive!

A small penis is only an impediment to a man who lets it define him to HIMSELF. Women, a mature woman, knows what she likes and wants and will normally say if what you have is an issue for her. Be grateful she doesn’t waste your time or go about making her cum so hard she forgets what she said.

  • What is your opinion of more non-traditional relationships such as polyamory, cuckolding, swinging and Female-led relationships?

I have gone through a massive shift about my ideas on this in the last few years. Dramatic shifts. Life changing shifts.

Polyamory: while I know I could easily handle multiple relationships with multiple men, I do not think I could handle being in a relationship with a man who was with multiple women and still be in a committed relationship with him. This would play into ALL of my personal fears and insecurities. It would damage me because of my 27 yr. marriage taught me that no matter what I did or what I tried, I was not good enough. (I realize it’s not accurate but the brain works in funny ways).

Cuckolding: 100% in favour of it simply because of my past. I am highly sexual and I am highly frustrated when I don’t have sex. Sex for me is a mood stabilizer. It makes me a better person. I have no need to humiliate someone but I do have a need to speak honestly. This means that what I say in relation to cock size and feeling is going to be very open and will result in teasing for the smaller of the two men. I have to admit to being excited about having a deep emotional connection with one man while having my sexual needs met by the men who interest me sexually. Never thought that would be possible in a million years.

Swinging: It works for some people. They are far more open and honest in their marriages and relationships than I have ever been. Had my spouse been open, I may have considered it. But at this point, with this man I would be angry that he is giving to others what he withheld from me, for so many years. I would carry this insecurity with me into future relationships as it is a hardwired response now.

Female led Relationships: this one is big for me right now. In my marriage, I have to say, I was the one doing everything, managing everything, was responsible for everything. I initiated sex 100% of the time and was rejected 99.99% of the time. I became a very dominant woman because I had no choice. My nature is to be submissive to a man and his needs as it simply makes me happier to please him. As a result I have a hard time ‘taking’ or being sexually selfish. This is why I am currently trying to break myself out of that. It’s why I have recently started exploring a few things with a Submissive (capital S) man. I have to say, that his submissiveness actually pisses me off, which makes me edgier than I normally am. His passivity reminds me of my spouse in many ways (though my spouse was passive aggressive while this man is simply passive). So his actions trigger my response which makes me into a very demanding woman.

It’s easier to be bitchy to someone when you are annoyed with them for their very nature. Because I am not pretending or role playing, it is something this submissive man finds very arousing. To be honest, part of it arouses me as well. (When I am not being floored that someone is so passive and driven to please).

My sexual personality type is hard to explain. I am exceptionally assertive and demanding. I am very confident and bold…and if I have a man who is my equal and challenges me I stand up to it and become even more domineering. If I am allowed to do it, I will. But if I have a man who quietly and gently shuts me down with amusement that I even tried to be dominant with him…sweet Jesus…my physical reaction to it leaves no doubt as to who is wearing the pants.

I know my standard and if a man falls short of it, then I control the situation and always will. It IS my natural state of being and is not even thought about. The only way I could successfully manage a female led relationship full time, is if I also had a 2nd lover who would fuck me until I could no longer think. Because THAT is what I need in order to think clearly at all and bring balance back into my life.

It’s why the submissive man wanted me. I understand that some very strong men need their submissive side to come out during sexual encounters, in order to allow them to have the balance of being such a dominant personality in their real life. I know it, because it’s exactly how I am when I am with the right sexual partner who meets my demanding nature, with one of his own.

Thanks again Rougedmount for agreeing to do this Interview with us!

 

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