What Happens When You Can’t Feel His Small Penis?

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I intentionally chose this photo to make a point.  It really isn’t a woman’s fault if a guy doesn’t have a big cock.  But it also isn’t a man’s fault if a woman has a big pussy.  Why does it have to be anyone’s fault if there is a size mismatch?

Piggybacking on the article about pussy size, I thought this topic was especially pertinent and timely.  We received an email not long ago from an obviously younger, smaller endowed guy who was quite upset.   He placed ALL blame about his small penis size on women. He blamed women for having big pussies, and he actually felt a woman should NEVER use a dildo and be completely content with a small penis.  Well, some women are content with a small one, but some of us also enjoy a larger dildo too, and if we do, what’s so wrong with that?   What this young man failed to understand is, when you’re in a relationship, it shouldn’t be a “blame game.”  What it should be about is good, honest and healthy communication about all matters, including sexual issues.

So back to the question of this article, what should a woman do if she can’t feel her partner’s cock?  By the way, there can be a few different reasons why this is likely to be the case.  (1) There may be a complete size mismatch – he’s very small, and she is very big.  (2) The female partner, through age and or childbirth may have been stretched to the point where she can no longer feel her partner.  In both of these cases, the usual solution is normally to use sex toys like a dildo, a penis extension or a strap-on cock to provide the female partner the feeling of fullness she craves.  By the way, there is nothing wrong with this, and we do know for some couples on this blog, they do use sex toys frequently for this very reason, and for them, it serves as an ideal solution.

There is another way this can happen, and that occurs when a couple opts to use a dildo or sex toys first.  In our case, Steve loves the “sloppy seconds,” but when he enters me after our big boy toy, to be honest, I can hardly feel him or I can’t feel him at all, and when I can’t I tell him, and he cums in like two seconds! :-)   But, in his case, Steve absolutely loves it.  It validates his small penis size to both of us, but it really, really turns him on.  It turns me on too! :-)

So, if you are in a relationship where the female can’t feel your small penis, should she refrain from telling you?  Should she fake orgasms?  Or, should she be completely honest with you, and have fun exploring alternate forms of sexual pleasure?  My hope would be that you both have fun experimenting with new things.

Here are your questions to ponder:

For the Female Readers:

(a)  Can you feel your partner’s penis?

(b)  If not, what do you do to achieve sexual satisfaction?

For the Male Readers:

(a)  Can your partner feel your penis?

(b)  If not, how does it make you feel?

(c)  If not, do you use dildos to supplement your sexual activities?

As always, feel free to add anything else you think is relevant here and thank you for your responses!

Why is Male Chastity Appealing?

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As most of you know, we enjoy covering a wide range of topics on this Blog.   Sometimes they are topics we are intimately familiar with and at other times it might be a subject we have little or no knowledge of but we like to introduce it as food for thought.  In either case, we try to present a topic in an objective and thoughtful way, and ask you, our readers to fill in the gaps and tell us what you think about it.

We have a new topic we want to introduce to you this week called male chastity.  We have never discussed this topic on the Blog before, but we were motivated to bring it up for three reasons.  First, we have recently received multiple requests from our followers to discuss it, and we like bringing up topics our readers are interested in.  Secondly, in going back over the blog, we did notice that there had been several references to it previously that had somehow eluded our radar screen.  Plus it was simply a topic that neither my wife nor I had any experience with, but we will also acknowledge that we didn’t fully understand it either.

The third reason we wanted to bring it up is because we have recently been corresponding with one of our blog members about the subject.   Without “outing” him, I will only say that he is highly intelligent, has a very responsible job, and is very articulate in expressing his views on the subject, and we thank him for sharing his story with us.  He and his wife are enthusiastic practitioners of male chastity, and he provided us some valuable insight into why it holds such a fascinating appeal for him and his wife.  So when my wife and I discussed it, it didn’t take us long to decide that this was a topic we needed to cover.

To be honest, that’s the value of this Blog for us and why we have so much fun with it.  We are continually being introduced to wide variety of topics by our followers that we have never previously considered ourselves.  In the case of male chastity, it made us stop and think and ask questions that many of you might have asked yourselves, “Why would someone be interested in this?”  “What guy would want to be locked up in a cock cage, and what woman would want her guy in “lockdown?”  We also wondered, “What’s the appeal and attraction of it for couples?”  We simply didn’t know the answers to any of these questions.

In preparation for writing this article, I read a wide range of male chastity related articles in an attempt to learn more about it.  I quickly learned that just like any sexually related fetish, kink or practice, there are extreme and less extreme versions of male chastity.  Rather than try to explain all of the “variations on a theme,” I have instead chosen to simply try and explain the appeal of it on face value as I understand it.  I will offer my usual disclaimer by stating that I’m certainly not an expert on this subject, and I’m not endorsing or discouraging this practice, but simply offering it as food for your thoughts and comments.

What are the Advantages for Women?

So what is it about male chastity that could possibly appeal to a woman?  We have discovered that there are actually several things about this activity that are potentially very attractive to them.  Probably the single most important one is that the husband’s sole focus is suddenly and dramatically refocused on their wives.  Men who are in male chastity become “locked” (pun intended) in on their wives like never before.  They dote on her and try to please her in ways they may not have before.  But why is that?  The truth is many men are chronic masturbators.   As a guy, I know what happens when I have an orgasm.  It’s like a sigh of relief. I feel content, and there is less focus on my wife because a sexual need has been met.  It doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife, because I do.  The reality is I guess you could say there is less a sense of urgency to meet her needs.  But, if a guy is in chastity he tends to focus in on his wife like a laser beam, and this renewed focus can serve as an aphrodisiac for a woman.

Secondly, it can also potentially improve her sex life.  Why, because when she takes away a guy’s masturbation outlet, his sole sexual outlet becomes his wife.  She always gets his best effort and she gets it whenever she wants it and needs it.  She no longer has to worry about him being “too tired” or wanting to watch the ball game.  Instead, he now has a renewed drive and sexual frenzy.  She also doesn’t have to worry about him stroking off fantasizing about his hot secretary or the busty blonde next door.  She gets his complete sexual attention, and women LOVE being the sole object of their husband’s sexual interest.

A third reason why this may appeal to a woman is that they feel empowered and more in control of the relationship.  The power and control she has cannot be underestimated as many women really enjoy being the “Goddess” or “Keyholder.”

What are the Advantages for Men?

So obviously there are some pretty compelling reasons why a woman might be interested in male chastity, but why would a guy want to be placed in chastity?

Believe it or not, there are also several reasons why guys might want this.  In the SPT Survey we referenced recently, we asked guys to rate several different areas of possible sexual interest.  Surprisingly, over 84% of the guys who have responded to our survey thus far have indicated at least some interest in orgasm denial if even for a short period of time.  That was an astonishingly high number to us, and it begs the question, are smaller endowed guys more likely to be drawn to male chastity than guys of average or above average penis size?   In researching the subject, I found no empirical evidence either way, so I guess it’s impossible to make that inference, but from our own “small” sample size it was definitely eye-opening.  Some guys may not even know why they want it; they just know the idea of being denied an orgasm and/or having their wives control their orgasms, if even only on a short term basis, really does turn them on.

One of the reasons, perhaps strangely, goes back again to masturbation.  Guys do it a lot; sometimes we even feel guilty afterwards.   Have any of you guys ever stroked off but your wife didn’t know about it, and then you felt bad or guilty for doing so afterwards?   By turning over control of this aspect of a guy’s sexuality, it may help eliminate that inner conflict.  This conflict could come for a variety of reasons: (a) Perhaps you’re stoking off while fantasizing about a woman other than your wife, (b) Knowing that if your wife wants sex later that night she will probably not get your best effort, or (c) Recognizing that your own masturbation habits are simply out of control.  Thus male chastity can help keep a guy more sexually focused on his wife.

In addition, some guys, who really think through this concept, may have already recognized that they are not as focused on their wives outside the bedroom like they should be either.   They know it, they feel it, but they are just unsure what to do about it.   So, they come to the conclusion that male chastity will provide them the extra “motivation” or incentive they need to really focus more attention on their wives than they have been.

Lastly, another undeniable attraction for some guys, especially submissive males in a Dom-sub relationship is that surrendering their orgasms to their Dominant female is the ultimate expression of their submission, and as such, is highly arousing for them. Likewise, the Dom in such as relationship is also quite turned on by this dynamic as well.  Yes, a guy can obviously be denied orgasm without going into male chastity, but by doing so, it really does give your Dom more power and control in the relationship.  While I have seen no studies that suggest male chastity is more likely to occur in a Dom-sub relationship, it seems feasible that there is at least some possible correlation.

Male Chastity:  Role Play or a Real Lifestyle Change?

Male chastity is something you can engage in on a part-time, fantasy role play basis that changes things up. Much like SPT or any other sexual practice, it can simply be a fun way of creating a little more sexual tension and excitement in your relationship, and many couples play with it simply as an occasional role play activity.

But for others, they view it as a new “lifestyle” relationship change and enjoy it together. Couples in this category see it not as optional, but as a very important and necessary part of their relationship.  They embrace the advantages listed above and like the ongoing sexual tension and mystery in the relationship.

The bottom line is, if it works for the two of you, whether it’s a role play activity or a lifestyle change, and is fun for both, then there are obvious benefits for the two of you.  The important thing to remember is it is still important, necessary and natural for a guy to orgasm, so it’s best to keep that in mind whether you view this as either a part-time role play activity or a lifestyle change.

So, have our views on male chastity changed?  Yes, primarily because we now have a better understanding of it, and can actually understand why it might appeal to some couples.  As I mentioned above, the thing we both try to keep in mind is just like any sexual fetish or practice, there are basic versions of it and also more extreme. What we presented above are the more obvious reasons why some couples might consider it.  But, if you do an Internet search of male chastity, you will no doubt find references to BDSM, domestic discipline, deeper humiliation, CBT and other more extreme “add-on’s.”  Maybe you see some value in male chastity as described above, maybe you like the more extreme versions of it, or, perhaps you see no value in it at all.  The real beauty of a good sexual relationship with your partner is (especially if you have excellent communication), it allows you to explore a wide range of activities and then decide between the two of you, what works, and what doesn’t.

Now, I would like to ask you our readers what you think about it?  If you don’t have any interest in it, feel free to say so. But, if you are currently engaged in it or would like to be, we would be very interested in seeing your responses to the questions below.

For Both Men & Women:

(1)  Do you engage in male chastity?

(2)  If you do, is it as a part-time role play activity, or as a lifestyle change?

(3)  If you do engage in it, what do you perceive to be the most important benefit(s) for you and your partner?

(4)  If you don’t currently engage in it, would you like too?

(5)  Do you believe there is a correlation between the desire for male chastity and penis size, or do you think there is no correlation at all?

As always, thank you in advance for your thoughtful comments!

Would You Rather Have a Big Cock or a Small Penis (With Teasing)?

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I received an email from one of our readers asking me an interesting question.  He said, would you rather have (1) Steve with a Big Cock, or (2) Steve with a Small Penis – with teasing?  That was actually a great question, and I decided I wanted to share my response with our readers.

If you look at the question carefully it’s not just would I simply prefer Steve with a big one or small one.  If that were the question, I would choose Steve with a big one, but that isn’t the question. When you throw in the important (with teasing) part of the question, it changes everything for me. In this case, I would choose Steve with the small one – with teasing, and I really wouldn’t even have to spend a lot of time deliberating about it, but let me explain why.

If all things were equal, yes, I would prefer a “Big Steve” over a “Small Steve,” but the truth is I would be able to receive a lot of sexual pleasure from either.  But, if Steve had a big cock, I suspect he might not be nearly as focused on me as he is with his small one, and for obvious reasons.  Because he’s small, he knows he needs to compensate, and loves competing with the big ones, and he is so locked in on me and my sexual needs, it’s actually VERY exciting and erotic for me.  For women, it’s more than just a penis size, it really is a combination of things, and because Steve has a small penis, I think that has driven him to really, really want to excel in pleasing me, and as a woman, that’s a major turn on.  Don’t ever discount the mental stimulation for women when it comes to sex.

If Steve had a big cock, there would be no “Love Small Penis” Blog.  The value of this blog to both of us cannot be understated.  There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t talk about sex.  I also love the comments and emails I get from you “little guys,” and I told Steve recently that they turn me on probably as much as SPT turns him on, and I wasn’t exaggerating.  SPT and all of the associated activities is simply a lot of fun, and even arousing for me too!

Plus another reason why I would choose “little Steve” is, if Steve had a big cock, yes, I would love the big cock sex, but I would actually miss the little penis sex.  Since I have a long, thick dildo I get to enjoy both, so I really do have the best of both worlds as it is.  :-)

I’m curious to know how other women would respond to this question.  Would you “trade in” your husband’s small one (with teasing) for a big one?

To Our “Silent” Followers

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Judging from the traffic we get on this site, we know we have a lot of people who come here and read articles, but don’t always post comments.  People choose not to comment for a variety of reasons.  They may feel uncomfortable responding on a public forum, or they may not want to leave their internet “footprint” on a sexually related blog, or they may simply not want to respond for a host of other reasons.

Whatever the case may be, we would still welcome your feedback and would like to encourage you to send us an email with your thoughts and ideas.  Specifically, we would be very interested in your answers to the following questions:

(1)  What value do you get from our Blog?

(2)  What topics are most appealing to you?

(3)  What ideas or suggestions do you have for future articles?

So, if you ever feel inclined please feel free to contact either one of us. We would enjoy hearing from you.

1Hotwife:  hotwife2013@aol.com

Steve:  play613796@aol.com


Thanks again for visiting our Blog!

Cock Comparisons & SPT: A Woman’s Point of View

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As a woman, I have learned a lot about my husband specifically and small endowed guys in general through this blog.  One undeniable reality is they LOVE SPT.  Many of these same men also crave to have their penises compared to large dildos or big cocks, but what is the source of that appeal and why do they want it as much as they clearly do?  Let me try to explain to you why I think this holds such a fascinating appeal to so many men.

When I analyzed the results of Small Penis Teasing Survey, there were several things that really stood out to me.   One of those “eye openers” was the desire on the part of males who responded to have their penises compared with other males or their partner’s larger dildos.  The question was asked of participants to describe their interest in this activity on scale of 0 (no interest) to 5 (very high interest).  Almost 90% rated their interest at least as a 4, and 74% rated it as a 5 (Very High Interest).  I have since collected more survey results, and this activity continues to be consistently one of a small endowed guy’s absolute favorite activities.

The question that must be asked is why do so many small endowed guys like to be compared to other guys who have bigger cocks and what’s the psychology behind it?  This is a fascinating question because I think the prevailing wisdom of most women would be to not want to draw any attention to the fact that their partner didn’t measure up.  Why, because its taboo and they would probably view it as a degrading and humiliating thing to point out about their partners and this is indeed true for some small endowed guys who have not accepted their small penises. Yet, for many guys like my husband and the other men who responded favorably to this question, they do not feel humiliated or degraded at all; rather, they find it to be a source of intense eroticism.  But, why is it such a turn on?  Well, I can’t speak for you other guys out there, but I do know what turns my husband on and why.  When I provide Steve with small penis teasing, it’s verbal validation to him that he doesn’t measure up, and he simply loves it.  I have seen and felt his penis stiffen which is proof to me that it’s an intense source of pleasure for him.   When I compare his little penis with my dildo or other men’s cocks, it takes SPT to a whole new level.  It’s like going from the “Little” League to the “Big” League literally and figuratively.   It’s visual affirmation to both of us that he doesn’t measure up, but he simply loves it!    It’s one thing when a woman teases her husband about being small.  It’s a mental mind fuck for him, but when, for example, she places her much larger dildo next to her husband’s small penis, he just about comes on himself. The reason for this is, he already knows he has a small penis, but when he knows that you see the comparison with your own eyes and acknowledge the vast difference, he is excited like little else because he knows, that you know his “truth.”  You know about his “little” secret, but the fact is, he wants you to know about it, talk about it and remind him about it!

So, SPT and Cock Comparisons actually go hand-in-hand and provide the validation and affirmation that turns a small endowed man on.  But there is more to it than just that.   It has changed the whole dynamic of our sexual relationship.  By expressing his desire, indeed his need for this, he has in a sense, transferred all sexual power and control in the relationship to me, and I love it.  It’s like he wants me to know and acknowledge that I’m settling for less.  For us, this automatically kicks in Steve’s desire to compete for me and to compensate in the bedroom.  I didn’t even seek this power, but it’s almost as if he instinctively knows I should have it, and I have to admit that it is both powerful and exciting to me personally.  He is so much more focused on me, both in and out of the bedroom, and will do anything he can to please me.  To be honest, that is not only appealing to me it is also VERY erotic as well. So it is not only my small endowed husband who is turned on by this, I am as well!   I actually think if more women understood this dynamic there would be a lot more of it.

As a result of the great comments on our blog and many emails I have read from readers, I have definitely become more “cock centric.”  The reality is, I love cocks and penises of all sizes and find them fascinating.  And, as we have become more immersed into a deeper level of SPT, I have also realized I need to be doing even more cock comparisons with real cocks that we see online, in videos and X-rated movies, etc.  If you’re a woman who is already engaging in SPT or would like to, comparing your partners cock with others, will probably turn him on like little else.  If he loves SPT, doing cock comparisons will take it to a whole new level.  So, how do you do it?  Well, here are some possible fun things you could consider doing or saying that will definitely get your husband’s attention:

  • First and foremost, don’t be bashful in expressing to your husband you want to watch some “big cock sex.”  It may be intuitive that X-rated movies obviously feature well-endowed guys, but expressing an interest in specifically wanting to see “big cocks” will definitely get your husband’s attention.  This is especially true if you haven’t been “cock centric” previously.
  • Whenever you see a big one, estimate the size of it, by saying something like, “Wow, I think he’s about 8 inches long!”  Guys are size focused and always think in inches, so when you’re sized-focused, it really turns him on.Plus, it proves to him that you are “in the know” about male penis size.
  • Whenever you see a nice looking, sizeable cock, don’t be bashful in telling your partner what a nice looking BIG cock it is, and compare every detail of it with your partner, and be as graphic as possible.  Your partner will be turned on that you are being so graphic!
  • Along the same lines, if you see what you think is your ideal cock size or the perfect cock, tell your partner, especially if it’s bigger than he is.  He wants to know what turns you on and why, and he might just cum on himself!
  • Don’t be afraid to express a sexual interest in a big cock – even if you’re not interested in one. Why, because it really amps up his competitive drive for you. Saying something like, “I would LOVE to suck that big cock,” or, “I would LOVE to feel that big thing inside me,” will definitely turn him on too.
  • Also, don’t be shy in turning the tables.  Ask him direct questions and engage him in a cock discussion.  Some ideas might include:

o   “Honey, when you see a big 9” cock, what goes through your mind?”

o   “When you see a guy whose cock is soft but still much longer and thicker than yours ever gets hard, how do you feel?”

This is one of those fascinating topics that many small endowed men crave.  If your husband loves SPT, he will probably love cock comparisons.   By frequently comparing your lover’s small penis with big cocks will keep him constantly on his toes and probably fully erect too! :-)

Here are your questions:


(1)  Do you compare your husband’s penis with other guys’ cocks?

(2)  If so, what is his reaction?  And if not, what stops you from doing it?


(1)  Does your wife compare your penis with other guys?  If so, do you like it, and why?

(2)  Does she do it enough or would you like it more frequently?

(3)  Do you have any suggestions of other cock comparison ideas that turn you on?

How I Stifled My Wife’s Sexuality

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We had an interesting discussion recently about my wife’s sexuality and I decided to share it with our readers.

In thinking back about many of our previous articles, I think sometimes that people who are reading our Blog get the mistaken impression that my wife’s recent “epiphanies” about her desires to try new things sexually is somehow a major revelation that resulted from her immersion into the world of SPT.  While that may be true to a certain extent, the reality is, I stifled her sexuality for many years.  Let me explain, why and how it happened so that others might learn from my mistakes.

My wife was always highly sexual, with an interest in trying just about anything and everything.  To be honest, this was a major attraction of my interest in her initially.  I had never been with a female partner who was so exciting and enthusiastic about sex.  Despite having a limited number of sexual partners, she was clearly very experienced and adventurous, far more so than any of my previous sex partners.

Prior to meeting her, my sexual confidence was at an all-time low.  I had never been able to give a woman an orgasm before, and to be honest, most women I had been with were just not in to sex, and often cited my small penis as the reason they couldn’t orgasm or enjoy sex.  So when I met my wife, it was like every man’s dream – especially a small endowed man’s dream.  She could orgasm easily even with my very small penis, and was very multi-orgasmic and wanted sex all the time.  She gave me my first real blowjob, and swallowed cum, and was even disappointed when I didn’t cum during a blowjob.  I remember one time on a cross-country trip, when we were driving through Wyoming, when she announced, “I want to suck your cock,”  which she did, much to the delight of passing truck drivers who honked their horns in enthusiastic approval as they drove by and witnessed it. (By the way, she missed seeing Devil’s Tower National Monument as she was busy servicing my much smaller “monument.”)  :)  We had sex in the morning, sometimes we would meet at noon and have a quickie, and then we would fuck nonstop in the evening.  We went to sex shops, played with sex toys, watched porno movies, and we really had a great sexual chemistry.    When couples meet, this kind of sexual frenzy usually lasts for a short period of time generally several months to maybe a few years.  But for us, we were both in this sexual feeding frenzy for close to five years.  It was incredibly satisfying to both of us, and then it happened.

For some inexplicable reason, I reverted back to my sexually insecure days, and began worrying that I wasn’t sexually satisfying her like I should be – even though I clearly was.  Psychologically, I think I believed that she would eventually leave me, which had happened to me many times in the past.  I began worrying about my penis size constantly, I began to feel threatened by other guys and jealousy reared it’s ugly head.  I had always been very turned on by her attractiveness, the way she dressed, her bubbly personality around guys – even the way she would tease them which was always done just in fun.  All of the things that had turned me on about her, now seemed to threaten me.  Of course, all of these insecure reactions on my part served as a wet blanket on what had been a sizzling sex life.   Not surprisingly, our sex life moved into what we call now our “maintenance” sex phase.  The sex we did have was still very pleasurable for both of us, but there was less spontaneity, less sparks and electricity, and we had less sex as a result.

What I had done was stifle my wife’s sexuality.  Some small endowed men who enter a relationship bring this baggage with them initially, while others like me, might let it go for a while, but then it rears up again later in the relationship.  In either case, is it really surprising that when we have our “small penis acceptance epiphany,” that our wives don’t immediately jump on board?  My wife like many women had settled into our relationship.  She still loved me and saw a lot of real value in our relationship, even though our sexual creativity had all but died.  So when I finally accepted my small penis, and wanted to begin to explore it, it was not surprising to me that she was slow and cautious to fully embrace my renewed sexual openness.  When a woman has had her sexual desires and interests stifled for years, it’s not like they can just turn the switch to ON just because you suddenly had a transformation.   They may even be suspicious about this sudden transformation and be wondering what your motives are. Fortunately for me, because my wife’s nature is to be very sexually creative and willing to try almost anything, she finally entered into my small penis world, and what she saw, she really liked, which has led us to be able to enjoy a sexual relationship unlike anything we had experienced previously. We now openly acknowledge that our sex life is more open, more exciting and more fulfilling than ever before.  We also have a far deeper and more open level of sexual communication than ever before, which really is at the heart of everything for us.

Lastly, the purpose of this post was to explain how sometimes a small endowed man can stifle their wives sexual desire and interest due to our small penis insecurities. As we have proven in our relationship, it’s possible to recover from this, but why put yourself through it in the first place?  Celebrate your wife’s sexuality and always encourage her to explore it.  If you do, you just might be the major beneficiary.

Questions for Men & Women:

(1)  Do you feel like you have ever stifled your partner’s sexuality?  If so, how did it happen, and have you ever been able to recover from it?

(2)  What advice would you give a small endowed man or his wife to be able to avoid this pitfall?

As always, thank you for responding!

Coming Up Short “The Perspective of a Black Man with a Small Penis”

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My wife and I recently had the opportunity to read a fascinating book by Marcus D. Nelson.  Marcus is a long time follower of our blog and because of his sexual experiences; he was motivated to write a book called, Coming Up Short, “The Perspective of a Black Man with a Small Penis.

Those of us with small penises know how difficult it can be to deal with this in our sex lives.  Throw in myths and stereotypes and it can really be a challenge.  For example, I’m tall, fairly well built and have always been athletic, and consequently women have always “assumed” that I would have a big penis.  Despite the fact that we know that height and body type has nothing to do with penis size that “myth” continues.  An even greater myth and stereotype is that all black men have big penises.  This of course, isn’t true either, but it’s something rarely talked about.  Fortunately, Marcus decided to be open about it and share his experiences.

After reading his book, we felt this was an important and relevant subject to bring up on the blog, and Marcus agreed to do this interview with us.  We hope you enjoy it.

Interview Questions:

(1)  Can you provide us with a little bit of your background? (I.e., age, body type, and penis size – just a general description is fine. Just share whatever you’re comfortable with)

I’m a Midwest guy—born and raised in Iowa. I’m 25 years-old, caramel colored, and have a semi-muscular, athletic body—about 170 pounds at around 5ft7 or 5ft8. My flaccid penis is just around 3 inches and sits on top of a small, tight nut-sac. Erect, I’m a little over 5 inches with a girth close to 5.25 inches. Because of my girth being a little more than my length, my penis has a stubby look to it and looks even shorter than it really is.

(2)  You’re a regular follower of our blog, how did you find us, and what appeal does it have for you?

I found Love Small Penis by just googling ‘small penis’ or ‘little dick’ this and that. About a year-and-a-half ago, I began looking for porn with smaller penises and websites that center around small penises. I like how Love Small Penis truly does cover any and every thing to do with small penises without watering it down. Love Small Penis is just really honest and doesn’t poke fun or focus on the humorous aspects of having a small penis, which is something society has a tendency to do it seems. The articles are insightful and keep me coming back.

(3)  What inspired you to want to write this book?

Writing this book had been on my mind for years, but I didn’t really know if I could do it or not, nor was I sure if anyone would even be interested in reading the perspective of a black man with a small penis. It seems to be a hard topic to find much about and there is so much to be said about and by the black men that don’t fit into the cultural myth or stereotype. It’s one thing for a white man to have a small penis—almost expected by some. However, when a black man is less than six inches, it is damn-near a crime.

I would have to say what finally pushed me over the edge to write Coming up Short was measuring my penis at 23 or 24 years-old and finding it hadn’t grown one centimeter since I was 10 or 11. Having a roommate with a huge penis (literally close to 10 inches erect and probably 5.5. to 6 soft) was also a big inspiration in a way. It is fascinating how different our perspectives and experiences are, as well as our preferences in sex period.

(4)  How has your view of your penis size changed and evolved over time?

Naturally, I wanted a bigger penis when I was a teenager. As I talk about in Coming up Short, I ordered penis enlargement pills when I was in middle school because I was basically petrified of growing up and having a small penis. Growing up, I listened to what teenage girls and adult women said about men. A small penis always seemed to be a negative mark for a man and it just scared me, especially since black men are “supposed” to having the biggest sizes.

Now, I love being a black man and not having the “big black dick.” I like not fitting into the stereotype and that’s mostly what I wanted to convey with Coming up Short. I used to see my penis size as a disadvantage, and maybe to some it is. Now, I see it as an advantage.

(5)  You wrote an entire chapter on compensating for your small penis. Do you think this is necessary and if so, how do you personally compensate for it?

I feel like compensating is necessary in life period. We all do it for something or another. This notion of “not having to compensate,” I think, is a little silly. However, society has taught us what is okay to compensate for and what isn’t. And I don’t think that is something society needs to decide for you.

I personally compensate for my size by being great at giving oral sex, using sex toys, and maintaining a nice body, among a few other things. Great oral sex definitely helps to level the playing field for lesser-endowed men. Sex toys (strap-ons, dildos, etc.) reach places I can’t that may need to be reached sometimes. The nice body helps with being more attractive. With all of those things, and some others, people can and will overlook a penis that may be less than they would like.

(6)  You describe yourself as bisexual and you wrote candidly about having a number of “same sex” experiences. In your view, who is more “size focused” men or women?

I have found that men seem to be more “size focused” than women. However, I do have to say that my same-sex experiences have only been with other black men. I have not been fortunate enough to have any experiences with white men.

A big penis is often equated with masculinity while a small penis is not. Since most men want a big, or bigger, penis, when they seek other men, it seems to be the natural thing to gravitate toward one with a bigger penis. This is to not say that women are not size focused, but in my experience, with black women I should add, they can be size focused, but not nearly as much as men. Women seem to let the emotional and character traits fill in the gap if need be, while men have been more about the sexual or physical.

(7)  In your book, you described being extremely turned on by “Sloppy Seconds.” What is the appeal for you personally and why do you enjoy them so much?

Sloppy seconds are the best thing since sliced bread! I think it’s unfortunate that they have a sort of negative connotation. I would have to say I have two reasons for finding sloppy seconds appealing: physical and mental. The physical feeling is really indescribable—silky, wet, gushy, warm. To be frank, it makes my penis feel like it is getting a soft, wet massage.

The mental appeal is the kick I get from knowing I have a small penis and I’m enjoying a well-fucked pussy—a pussy that “work” has already been put into by something longer and thicker. I’m enjoying the “rewards,” so to speak. I see men with huge penises in locker rooms or porn and think to myself: Damn, I want to feel a woman after he’s been inside of her!

(8)  If you could offer any advice to a guy who has a small penis and was still struggling with it, what advice would you give?

Like my former roommate said, accept your limitations. This isn’t always the easiest thing to do, but it can be done and when it is done, life is just easier. With shorter strokes, for example, I slip out far less than when I try to do long strokes like men with long penises. Quite frankly, when a man with a small penis tries to overstep his boundaries, it only magnifies that he lacks in the size department. This can kill the mood, especially when the person may even be in to the man and his small penis.

I think when a man with a small penis opens his mind to compensating, either with toys or giving oral, or to other types of sex, such as cuckolding, he will find less of a struggle with his size. Many nights, my girlfriend grabs my butt in missionary, signaling she needs deeper penetration. I could get offended and ruin the mood completely, or be a man about it and get the strap-on or dildo. So, I say accept your limitations, open your mind, and be willing to try other things. For years, I tried to last longer than my usual five minutes (with a condom on). I only disappointed myself when lasting all night long clearly is not something I am meant to do. That time and effort can be spent on things that I am good at.

(9)  What is the best way for your readers to interact with you?

I’m kind of anti-social media. I think a lot of it is for show and is very superficial and doesn’t really bring anyone closer to you. Rather, I like people to simply email me: talktomarcusdnelson@gmail.com. I love holding conversations with anyone that likes to talk about penis size and sexuality. No email will go unanswered!

(10)        For those who are interested in reading your book, where can they find it?

Coming up Short: The Perspective of a Black Man with a Small Penis is available exclusively on Amazon.com as an eBook. If the success of the eBook is what I hope it to be, I’d like to have copies printed and go to sexuality conventions and or conferences, wherever those are, and sell signed copies and interact with people on a personal level. Maybe one day I will be able to do this! Here is the Amazon.com link:


Thank you for the Interview!


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