Do You Shave?

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We posed this question to women several months ago and got some interesting responses.  Recently, several guys have indicated on the blog that they are shaved, and it led Hottie and me into an interesting discussion about men and their grooming habits down there. I haven’t seen any statistics on the subject, but my guess is that a lot more men are shaving their pubic area these days than in the past.  My sense is, and this is just my own speculation, that like women, more guys, especially in the younger generations are not only more comfortable shaving but also look more favorably on it as well.

For those guys that shave, we’re curious to know what your motivation or interest is in doing so. For example, one of our male followers commented one time that being shaved heightened his sensitivity down there and cited this as a major advantage to being shaved.  So there may be some sensual advantages to shaving. I have also read that some men in chastity shave to avoid having random hairs pinching or getting caught in their chastity cages, so for them, shaving may simply be because it is more practical to do so. But, for men with small penises, I’m guessing there may be other reasons or motivations behind shaving or not shaving.  For example, and this is just my personal observation as well, I think some small endowed men (especially those who have not accepted their small size) probably wouldn’t want to shave for fear of drawing too much attention and focus on their small members.  But, on the other hand, I think some small endowed guys shave precisely because it is, in a way, an “outing.”  Being completely shaved would, in a sense, “showcase” and draw immediate attention to their mini-members which is very exciting for them.  In this last example, they shave because it’s sexually arousing for them.

So in the end, I think there may be three primary reasons why a guy might shave:  (1) Heightened sensitivity, (2) Practical reasons, or (3) Sexual arousal.   I suppose you could add a fourth reason – guys might just want to shave for hygiene reasons as well. So, all of this leads me to today’s questions:

Questions for Men:

  • Are you shaved, trimmed or “au natural?”
  • If you’re shaved, was it your idea or your partners?
  • If you are shaved, what is/was your motivation behind it?

Questions for Women:

  • Is your guy shaved, trimmed or “au natural?”
  • If he is shaved, was it your idea or his?
  • If he is shaved, what is it about him being shaved that turns you on the most?

As always, feel free to add anything else you think is relevant to the topic.  Thanks!

Do You Wear Panties?

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I receive a lot of really interesting emails from guys.  I’m always fascinated by what turns them on and why.  One of the real eye openers for me is just how many guys have a panty fetish.   They either openly wear them in their relationships, or wish they could.  Wearing women’s panties, like many of the topics we have discussed on this blog was never on my radar screen, nor was it on my husband’s either.  In fact, it was one of those topics that Steve always said that he wanted to stay away from because it just seemed so humiliating, and why would a guy want to do that?

I was chatting with one guy in particular who had this fetish, and I asked him to explain it to me and he sent me a whole series of links of articles to read.  I read them all, one by one, and I just didn’t get it.  It just seemed, as I had suspected, to be way over the top.   But then, I read the last one, “How To Panty Your Husband,” By happywife82 that was posted on Literotica.  Here is the link for anyone interested in reading it:

When I read that article, I suddenly found myself understanding why this might actually appeal to men.  To be honest, it actually turned me on reading it.  The true “acid test” for me though was getting a reaction from Steve about what he thought about it.  So, I read each of the following passages to him and asked him for his honest response:

  • “Yes, a lot of women like their guys in panties – and a big cock in panties can be sexy as hell! But a pantied husband, in my experience, is most often a husband with shortcomings … and everyone in the relationship not only acknowledges it – but celebrates it.” BOING!
  • “So the first reason to panty your man is acceptance. If his penis fits into a snug little pair of panties, he is tiny. He knows it, you know it, the question is – is anyone bringing this little fact out in the open. When you do, your man will likely feel incredible relief. He just wants to be able to talk about, and sexualize, his small penis. Give him a chance to showcase his cute little guy!” BOING!
  • “Starting out slowly is a good idea. ”Honey, I had a wicked thought – try on these panties for me!” He might be reluctant, but you will know his true reaction by the reaction of his little guy. If your man has a small penis, and you have him strip and step into panties for you as you ooohh and ahh, I can almost guarantee he will get hard, and instantly.”  BOING!
  • “Another common aspect of a pantied husband / female-led relationship is to switch up the way you make love. Feel free to let your special guy know it’s time for “little penis” sex.” Then after he tries to satisfy you, have him use a dildo on you.”   BOING!
  • “Of course, point out the significant difference. A small penis can’t work in so many positions, such as a man sitting on the couch and a woman straddling him (facing him or facing away). Hint at how you miss real sex, and tell him his main duty is to please you orally. He’ll be an expert in no time!”  BOING!
  • “Remember ladies, a pantied hubby wants to worship his wife, so give him every reason to. Dress sexy, wear stockings, garters, and let your wild side out. Couples in the hotwife or fem-led lifestyles often report better health: If your body is on display constantly, chances are you want to get and stay fit.” BOING!

Steve was surprised by his own reaction to this article, and when I asked him what about it was a turn on for him, he said, “I think it was the disarming way that she approached the topic.  It wasn’t written in a degrading and humiliating way, but more of a fun way to mix things up in a relationship. She definitely understands the small penis dynamic.”  I felt exactly the same way too, which is why it was a turn on for me as well.

Now, this doesn’t mean Steve is wearing “women’s panties”, but we have replaced all of his briefs for very sexy and “size appropriate” man panties…lol, which are hot.  We actually went to a site called, “Be-brief” and found some very sexy underwear. I love them because they not only snuggly fit his little package but when I reach down to cup his little penis and balls it is soft and silky to touch. The snug fit is perfect for showcasing his smallness.  :-)

In any event, since we have had a number of guys express an interest in this, I really wanted to write an article on the subject. :-)

So, here are my questions:

  • How many of you wear women’s panties, and if so, does your wife know and what does she think about it?
  • If you do wear them, what is the major turn on or attraction for you in doing so?
  • If you don’t have you ever thought about it or wanted to?

As always, feel free to add anything else you would like to on the subject!

Small Penis Teasing (SPT) Survey Results: Revised

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On May 24, 2014, I published the article, Small Penis Teasing Survey Results” which summarized the results of a survey I conducted between February and April. All of these men identified a strong interest in Small Penis Teasing, and the intent of the survey was to identify the reasons for this interest. The surveys were completed by 19 enthusiastic respondents of the Love Small Penis Blog who were all interested in small penis teasing.

As a woman, I have been captivated by the survey responses, and I continue to be intrigued to know what about SPT provides such incredible arousal for the smaller endowed man. The feedback and emails I received back, convinced me to keep the survey up on the blog and open-ended.  This summary includes the surveys of 50 participants, who completed the survey between February and September.  While the survey sample size has grown from 19 to 50, and is admittedly a small sample size, there are some very interesting observations commonalities of our participants’ responses.   Here is an Executive Summary of my “findings.”


The first thing I was curious to know was the penis size of our participants to see how they measured up.  Here are the results:

9 (18%) of the participants had a penis that measured at least 6”

24 (48%) of the participants had a penis that measured at least 5”

26 (52%) of the participants had a penis that measured less than 5”

14 (28%) of the participants had a penis that measured less than 4.5”

Overall, the “average” penis size of our participants is: 4.9” in length, and 4.7” in circumference.  But, as you can see, there was a wide range of penis sizes involved in this “study,” which further validates the notion that any man, regardless of his penis size can be interested in SPT.

Other interesting demographics and observations include:

  • The age range of the participants was from 20-60+ (62% were over 40), and many of whom were in long-term relationships. The majority of these participants admitted to being drawn to SPT later in life and after they had accepted their penis size.
  • 48 of the 50 participants indicated some level of post-high school education, with 17 (34%) having a baccalaureate degree and 21 (42%) participants having a post baccalaureate education.  This continues to support the notion that men who are more educated may be more realistic in terms of their penis size and thus more likely to gravitate to SPT.  I’m becoming convinced that most small endowed guys have big brains! J
  • It may surprise some people who might assume that a man who has a small penis might tend to be more submissive outside the bedroom, but according to our survey, 31 participants (62%) identified themselves as dominant or mostly dominant outside the bedroom in their day to day lives. Conversely, it’s not surprising that 25 (50%) identify themselves as being submissive or mostly submissive in the bedroom.  In addition, several others who identified themselves as equally dom-sub, or even mostly dom, still fantasize about being more submissive in the bedroom. It’s also worth noting that in this survey, there was no correlation between penis size and submissiveness.
  • Not surprisingly, the bigger the penis, the less likely it is that the male has experienced humiliation, shame or embarrassment from either males or females or both.  Conversely, the smaller the penis, the more likely it is that the male has experienced some or all of these emotions multiple times in their past experiences.
  • 17 (34%) reported having been teased by other males
  • 21 (42%) reported having been teased by females
  • 24 (48%) reported having been humiliated by females

Ironically, while most of the participants experienced negative emotions earlier in their lives, in retrospect these memories are now viewed by them in a much more arousing and erotic light,  and would even like a “do-over.”

  • An overwhelming number, 45 out of 50 (90%) see a distinction between SPT and SPH, and seem to prefer the more mild form of SPT over the harsher form of SPH.
  • 70% of respondents reported that they believe men with large cocks were sexually superior.  Most of those (40%) who indicated yes, believe this is true with no qualification attached. But 30% of the participants added the qualifier: “If everything else is equal then yes, a man with a larger cock is sexually superior.”
  • Surprisingly, 90% of the participants who reported using dildos in their relationship were incredibly turned on when entering their wife/partner after she had used one.  The feeling of their “smallness” was validated for them and they were also amazed at their wife/partners sexual capacity.  I say this is surprising because as a woman, I had previously thought that all men and especially a small endowed man would want a woman whose pussy was small and tight.  But, when their wife or partner feels big or stretched it provides instant affirmation that they are small endowed, and this turns on a lot of men who are into SPT.
  • ALL respondents indicated a desire for SPT to be at least weekly, and 72% wish it would occur daily!
  • 80% of the respondents who have less than a 6” cock have had to acknowledge their “smallness” to a woman at one time or another in their lifetime.  Some expressed feeling shame, embarrassment or humiliation initially, but these feelings have been transformed to being more arousing and erotic for them.  I believe as Steve’s therapist has said, “He is eroticizing something that has previously been a very negative feeling.”
  • On a scale of 0-5, with 0 (no interest) to 5 (very high interest), participants were asked to provide their most desirable forms of SPT.  The favorites on the “Hit Parade” are as follows with their average rating:
  1. SPT comments that are more direct and open – 4.72
  2. SPT comments that are more mild or subtle “hints” – 4.43
  3. Cock or Dildo Comparisons – 4.42
  4. Sloppy Seconds – 3.88
  5. Being Outed by your wife or partner – 3.86
  6. Self-Outing – where you go to the gym, etc. – 2.86
  7. Orgasm Denial Occasionally 2.8
  8. Withholding Sex –perhaps just once in a while – 2.44
  9. Orgasm Denial for a Sustained period of time – 2.18
  10. Withholding Sex for a Sustained period of time – 1.76

The men who completed this survey self-identity themselves as being small endowed, but they find incredible relief and eroticism by acknowledging it to their partners.  They desire their wives/partners to frequently tell and tease them about being small-endowed.  They enjoy cock/dildo comparisons because it is visual proof to their partner that they don’t measure up, and they tend to prefer sloppy seconds because that is the physical validation of their smallness to both themselves and their partner. Being outed provides incredible sexual tension and titillation for them as well.  Many of these men also enjoy orgasm denial and being withheld sex because it is an acknowledgement of the sexual power their women have in their relationships.

In summary, the men who participated in this survey report that SPT has been incredibly erotic for them, and has added an element of excitement and arousal for them in the bedroom they had not known previously.  In short (pun intended), it excites them to no end!  To be honest this whole process was exciting for me too, and I really enjoyed reading all of the responses.

Lastly, I want to thank all of the lesser-endowed men (remember, there’s always bigger) who participated in this survey.  Your answers were thoughtful, sincere and very insightful.

If you would like to participate in this survey, you can still do so by contacting me directly at for a copy of the survey instrument.

From Housewife to Cuckoldress – An Interview with Alex Hathaway


A few years ago, I stumbled upon excerpts from a fascinating book by Alex Hathaway called, “From Housewife to Cuckoldress.”  What I read was such a major turn on for me, that one night I began sharing it with my wife, and to my pleasant surprise, while I was describing it to her, she grabbed her iPad, bought and downloaded it on the spot!  I read it cover-to-cover and couldn’t put it down.

It was a very erotic and captivating book for several reasons.  First, it was written by a woman who really understood the subject.  Secondly, it really delved into the psychological aspects of it from both the male and female perspectives.   And third, the sex scenes were very erotic.  As she described on her blog, “While the sex in From Housewife to Cuckoldress is what you might call “best case scenario” sex – orgasms all around – I wanted it to capture the special intensity that cuckold sex can have.”  Needless to say, I would highly recommend From Housewife to Cuckoldress, and her second book, The Education of a Cuckold.

Lastly, I want to give my wife credit for suggesting that I try reaching out to Alex to see if she would do an interview.  I wasn’t sure where to turn, but I contacted Fanny Press in hopes that they might know how I could contact Alex to see if she would be willing to do an interview.  To my surprise, they responded immediately and made the connection for me.  So, I would like to give a special “Thank you,” to Fanny press for arranging the interview, and of course, to Alex for agreeing to do it.

I hope you enjoy the Interview!

  • Tell us a little bit about yourself, and how long have you been writing adult erotic literature?

Alex:  I have been a writer all my life. It was only more recently I recalled the example of Henry Miller, Anais Nin and others who found a catharsis in erotic writing. I had written a few short stories, but my first erotic writing was really From Housewife to Cuckoldress, the first of two published books in an ongoing series on cuckolding.

It made a huge difference to contact a progressive press like Fanny Press and develop a great relationship with them. They have been indispensable in my journeys from draft to publications that actually get in readers’ hands.

It’s probably clear from my writing that I have experience in alternative sexual communities, from BDSM to open relationships of various flavors. But when I write about these taboos, I try to draw out distinct evolutions in identity, rather than just explore kink for its own sake.

  • How would you describe your writing style, and what do you think are the key components in writing a really good and captivating erotic story?

Alex: My erotic writing style is really character driven. While my first protagonist was female, and the second was male (Education of a Cuckold), my focus is really on the core of their crisis in identity and how they move towards understanding/resolution. To me that is fascinating – coming to terms with sexual identity, acceptance, turning flaws into strengths. I try to be ruthlessly honest to the process the character is going through. Hot sex scenes don’t hurt either – I try to spice up the books with the kinds of explicit cuckold sex you won’t find in too many other places. But those sex scenes only work in the context of working through those identity riddles. At least that’s how I see it.

If I can entertain while giving the reader a feeling for how a particular character moved through sexual dilemmas into some kind of empowerment or acceptance, to me that’s a good story.

  • Would you describe your books to be short stories, novellas, or full length novels?

Alex: I would say long novellas. In the form I use, I’m able to explore a sexual evolution beyond what you could get in a short story. On the other hand, I don’t think these are novels because typically in my work, it’s the main character in each story that gets fleshed out the most. Then I move on to the next novella if you will.

Alex: I have always felt a fascination with cuckolding from a female perspective. How does a cuckoldress evolve? It’s a story not often told. I see cuckolding as kind of a feminist Trojan horse. A true cuckold relationship opens up all kinds of sexual empowerment possibilities for the woman in the relationship that are not widely understood in our culture. (Open relationships are better known but often come from a male-oriented ‘swinging culture’). Feminist thinking has not embraced cuckoldry to this point, but that’s not going to stop me from writing about the woman’s point of view in these situations.

  • Cuckolding appears to be gaining in popularity and is a fascinating topic. What do you attribute to the growing interest in this kind of relationship?

Alex: We are entering the realm of strong views which all readers may not accept. But in my opinion a sexually empowered, modern (heterosexual) woman is at high risk of finding herself in a long term relationship with someone she may love but who is not challenging/exciting to her sexually in a jugular way. I don’t usually use the “beta male” lingo, but I think there are many men who either struggle to sexually please the women in their lives, or even if they don’t, a part of them has doubts about that which are sexually charged.

For the man, cuckolding addresses those fears in a very jugular way by imagining the girlfriend/wife being pleased in a way that the man cannot. Whether that’s a reality in the relationship, or strictly a fantasy, it’s a very potent one. This gets at some fundamental questions of cultural conditioning versus primal sexual desires.

I don’t happen to believe that women are meant to be monogamous, for example. In general, I believe once women have a primary pair bonding based on caregiving criteria (the responsible father), they are meant to continue to be sexual beyond that bonding. In other words, by choosing a long term pairing mate, the woman is likely sacrificing other male attributes pertaining to pure sexual ability and chemistry. She thinks to herself, “I’m glad I got those (alpha males) out of my system when I was younger,” but life doesn’t work like that. Sooner or later, those desires come back – with a vengeance. I see that as natural and healthy, but against the grain of cultural norms.

In my work, that female sacrifice inherent in (most) pairing selections becomes a ticking time bomb more often than not. Cuckolding frees us up to talk about what the time bomb is and reckon with it before it blasts off, creating cheating and distrust. Ironically, most – though not all – men are much better suited for devoted monogamy. Assuming they are paired properly.

And that’s why I personally think cuckolding has such a primal appeal. I realize not everyone sees it this way. Some just see cuckolding as a fun way of spicing up a loving relationship – either in fantasy or actual practice. Or they see it as a prism of male sexual fantasy. Which is true and can be a lot of fun. But the onion unravels much, much further.

Such “spicing up” is totally fair game, but for many couples I know, cuckolding’s appeal goes much deeper. As for “Why cuckolding now?” I would point you towards trends in female sexual empowerment in Western cultures, combined with increasing sexual openness and introspection in men.

  • What do you think is the biggest misconception about a cuckolding relationship?

Alex: There are plenty, mostly because there are as many varieties of cuckolding as there are flowers in the backyard. And if it works for you, then it works.

I did write about how cuckolds are NOT losers for Fanny Press:

I also see a big difference between a “hot wife” and a “cuckoldress” which I also wrote about:

If I had to pick one misconception above all others, it’s the idea that cuckolding is some kind of dysfunctional or cheating situation that involves either deception or wallowing in poor self-esteem. The classic definition of a cuckold implied the cheating part. Whereas I see cuckolding as a very healthy and viable relationship option for the right couple.

  • You followed up your first book with “The Education of a Cuckold: A Story of Love, Lust, and Fate.” What led you to want to write this book?

Alex: Well, in the first book, I primarily looked at the female psychology of becoming a cuckoldress, and what a woman has to overcome to embrace a cuckoldress identity and claim her sexual power in a relationship. In The Education of a Cuckold, I looked at the male evolution of a cuckold, starting at a young adult age. At that point, our character’s intense sexual experiences got mixed into a “Wait, I thought I was an alpha male” sexual identity crisis. Then, despair and loneliness. Cuckolding gradually emerges as a way of pushing through that crisis. I see the second book as complementing the first from a psychological perspective.

  • In both of your books, the cuckolds are small endowed. In your opinion do you think lesser endowed men are more likely to gravitate to cuckolding, or do you think cuckolding is more of a “mindset” than a penis measurement?

Alex: Great question! I see cuckolding as a psycho-sexual playground available to all, male or female, regardless of sexual orientation. Cuckolding is a very specific variation on the dynamics of dominance and submission that are common to BDSM subcultures. As each of us opens up sexually, we come to understand both our dominance and our submission. We also reckon with intense feelings of jealousy or control. We all land differently in these power dynamics. Some of us are more “switch”, whereas some of us discover we are much more submissive than we realized. Cuckolding is a great avenue to explore these tendencies, many of which can surprise us! So yes, it’s a mindset first and foremost.

I’ve known men of all penis sizes who are cuckolds (and who fantasize about being cuckolds). That said I do believe that small penis men are particularly drawn to cuckolding, for reasons I think are understandable.

Many men have found that feelings of inadequacy can be exciting to explore sexually with their partners. Emotionally-charged issues of jealousy and performance can be wonderful to explore, even if they bring a painful edge.

But I do think small penis men find cuckolding at a more primal level. I’ve known small penis men, for example, who felt that cuckolding was really their only way forward sexually. In other words, while anyone can explore cuckolding, small penis men may almost feel forced into it by genetic circumstance. That can be highly liberating and arousing.

And while feelings of inadequacy are common amongst men, there is a particular intensity when a man realizes the perception is not just a fantasy but the reality: on some level he is sexually inadequate to his partner. For men who have not been told the truth about such things, it can be both shocking and liberating to encounter a woman who is willing to be open about such matters, especially in a loving and compassionate way.

This is fertile ground for the small penis man, who can now seek out cuckold relationships where no topics are taboo. Or: cuckolding can simply be a way for the small penis man to open up an arena of role play and fantasizing and, most of all, truly honest sexual communication, with one’s partner, who may be thrilled to realize she no longer needs to sugar coat her desires and preferences. Not to mention openly sharing past experiences with well-endowed partners! It’s not a surprise small penis men are drawn to this, after years of nibbling around the truth and wondering what women really think.

  • Who is your target audience – men, women or both, and has anything surprised you about your audience?

Alex: My audience is really folks who are looking for erotically charged books that explore taboos around cuckolding. I write for men and for women both, because I feel cuckolding is a shared adventure. Hopefully the audience enjoys the psychological evolution of my characters, but I would never impose an agenda on a reader. I feel I can’t worry too much about the audience but try to write authentically about things that matter, and hope it comes across.

  • Do you have any plans on writing other books in the future, and if so, are you planning on writing any additional books on cuckolding, or are there other subjects or themes you are considering?

Alex: I’m not done with cuckolding anytime soon! I still see quite a bit untapped here. I’m currently working on a third book of erotic fiction on cuckolding themes, which will also be with Fanny Press. I am hoping to round out psychological themes in cuckolding relationships in the future. My next book is from a woman’s point of view again, which is probably my comfort level. The book starts to delve more into the psychology of the “bull,” the so-called alpha male that is important to bringing cuckolding themes to their peak.

I don’t think the role of the so-called bull is well understood, and it impacts the females in cuckolding situations just as much as the men – if not more so. This next book puts the central protagonist, a woman, on the spot if you will, as she is confronted by the sexual implications of being married to a cuckolding bull. Needless to say this is not an easy thing, but it makes for some exciting situations. That’s about all I can say until I finish it.

  • What formats are your books available in, and for people who might be interested in checking out your books, where can they find them?

Alex: I’m going to let Fanny Press answer that question as they work hard to make the books widely available. But I will say I am excited the first book, “From Housewife to Cuckoldress” has an audio version.

Fanny Press: Housewife to Cuckoldress is available in audio on, iTunes, and Amazon. Both From Housewife to Cuckoldress and Education of a Cuckold are available on,, the European Amazons, and Amazon Japan. You can order them at any bookstore as well, and they are available in multiple eBook formats. Here are the links to the announcement pages, where you can find all the buy links:

Thanks for these terrific questions; I hope your readers enjoy the Interview. Keep up the great work on the lovesmallpenis blog.

Thank you for the Interview!  We look forward to reading more of your books in the future!

LSP Customer Service Survey

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A lot of the topics we write about on the blog come directly from suggestions sent to us by those of you who follow the blog.  We really appreciate your suggestions and we always do our best to write about what we know on a given subject, and then let the rest of you share your experiences and/or knowledge on the subject.   I know I can speak for my wife when I say that your comments and ideas have been fascinating and inspired us to talk and even explore many new and exciting sexual activities.  So, we have obviously benefited from your contributions, and we hope that those of you who follow our blog have likewise found value in it as well.

In thinking about all of this recently, we thought we should reach out to you and ask those of you who follow the blog what specific topics interest you the most.  We have prepared a list of topics below, and would like to ask you to rate your interest in the subjects on a scale of 0 (no interest) to 5 (very high interest).   Besides rating them, if you could also let us know if there is a specific aspect of any topic you would like to see us cover in more detail, please let us know that too.  And, if there are any other small penis subjects you’re interested in but don’t see them on the list, by all means, let us know.

  • Small Penis Acceptance
  • Small Penis Relationships
  • Best Practices in Small Penis Sex
  • Cock Comparisons
  • Dildos and Sex Toys
  • Dominant-submissive or Female Led Relationships
  • Cuckolding/Swinging or other Alternative Lifestyles
  • Male Chastity
  • Withholding Sex
  • Orgasm Tease/Denial
  • Outing
  • Panties
  • Small Penis Condoms
  • Others?

Please post your thoughts here, or if you prefer, please feel free to send your suggestions to one or both of us at the email addresses listed below.  To those of you who are “Lurkers” out there, feel free to contact us personally and let us know what you like too.  We have had a number of you recently that have reached out to us, and we really appreciate hearing from you too.

Lastly, it’s not too late to take the SPT Survey.  While we posted the initial results from the first 19 who participated a few months ago, we have had many others recently contact us wanting to fill it out and wondering if it is too late.  This is going to be an ongoing project, and we will be posting updated statistics from our survey respondents in the near future.  So, if you would be interested in participating just drop Hottie and email and she will send you out the survey questionnaire.

As always thanks for your feedback and suggestions!



Why We Chose Chastity

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On July 10, 2014 we wrote and posted the article, “Why is Male Chastity Appealing?” What inspired us to offer this article was a result of conversations we had with a fellow blog member and also hearing from others that were in this lifestyle.  To be honest, prior to that time, male chastity and orgasm tease and denial (which, by the way, do go hand-in-hand) was not something either of us had any interest in at all.

After reading one email in particular, my wife said to me, “Wow, you’re going into lockdown!”   She was completely captivated and extremely turned on by how excited this guy was by his wife, and how focused he had become on her since he entered chastity.  He also acknowledged that he was a chronic masturbator, and how his masturbation habits were now completely under his wife’s control.  The other thing that got my wife’s attention was the power and control the woman clearly had over her husband.

When my wife shared this email with me, it was very clear this was something that really excited her.  What was completely surprising to me was that I was just as turned on by these descriptions as she was.  Within a week, I was in male chastity and have been ever since.  As such, I thought it might be helpful to explain how both Hottie and I view chastity and why we came to the conclusion that we should try it.  Here are just a few examples of how we both view it:

Steve’s View:

  • Psychological Implications of Chastity:   Neither Hottie or I have any interest in chastity affecting my masculinity.  I am athletic, intelligent, confident, and successful and neither of us want to compromise these obvious assets.  She would not want me to be wimpy or a doormat, nor would I want to be one.  In our chastity relationship it is solely between her and I and completely transparent to the outside world.  I do not have to compromise this part of who I am in order to willingly enter chastity and be submissive to her.
  • Ultimate Act of Submission: We have been moving into more of a Dom-sub, female-led relationship for the last several months.  The more I thought about male chastity, the more I realized (Hottie did too) that entering male chastity was the ultimate act of submission to my Dominant female.  This recognition was both exciting and liberating for me.
  • Chronic Masturbator:  Of course, being a chronic masturbator, that “little” habit of mine has been completely put under her control, and chastity has definitely limited it to supervised masturbation, and I welcomed that advantage of it and know it’s actually been beneficial.
  • Snap!:  On the previous chastity article, Hottie asked readers if she should put me in chastity and one of our male followers said, “I think you should definitely try it.  I would like to hear what Steve thought when that lock is snapped and he no longer has control.”  Well, this may be really hard to understand unless you have experienced it, but I told Hottie, that somehow it felt strangely comforting.  It feels natural and whenever I hear that snap, it’s a reminder of our new and improved relationship!
  • Day-to-day chastity: When you are in chastity, wearing the heavier cage on your penis and balls is an ongoing reminder of your chastity relationship.  You are aware of it constantly, and you realize it is an ongoing symbol of your submission.   Every time I think about it, it serves as an ongoing reminder of a positive change of direction for our relationship.

Hottie’s View:

  • Power and Control: The power and control are definitely two of the major attractions and benefits for my wife with male chastity.  For Hottie, it’s sexually thrilling for her to be my “Keyholder” and have complete dominance and control over my orgasms.   As she says, “If you control the penis, you control the man.”  This is clearly demonstrated by her ability to determine if and when I will have orgasms.  We had two recent posts from women that resonated with her:

Janie said, “The other part of me gets off on the power trip, on knowing his whole world revolves around me and knowing the depth of his infatuation and focus on me. I love raising his hopes with a single word…then sending them crashing back down again. We aren’t into whips or chains or other more visceral forms of domination.”  We, like Janie, aren’t into whips and chains either; it’s the power and control that turns my wife on!

Larissa said:  “As far as your question goes Steve, well yes the power and control component is intoxicating for both of us, but it is just one component of why orgasm denial and chastity works for us. There is always such sexual electricity between us.

Hottie agreed with both of these women’s views on chastity, and has also used the words “sexual electricity” to explain it too.

  • More Attention and Focus: For Hottie, another important benefit of chastity is the intensified focus on her.  When you have been in chastity, and your wife/partner is your keyholder, you will definitely have more focus and adoration on her, and she loves this aspect of it.  And she wants it to be clear, it’s not that she felt that she wasn’t getting my attention before, but once I went into chastity, it ratcheted up the intensity to a whole new level.
  • Masturbation Habits: Hottie knew my masturbation habits were excessive at times, and she felt that chastity would curtail this activity.  When Hottie has sex with me, she wants to be assured that I bring my “A” game every time, and if I can masturbate uncontrollably, she feels like she may not be getting my best effort.  Hottie thought that Larissa confirmed this in her comments:

“From a woman’s perspective – my husband certainly has the smallest penis out of any of my former lovers, by some measure, and was certainly masturbating considerably more than any of them ever had – about 1-2 times per day. Is that a factor of penis size or greater access to Internet porn – not sure, but I do think penis size has something to do with it. I do notice that men with smaller penises tend to get erect far more quickly than the larger guys.

“Anyway, we have managed to change things over the last year. Whereas previously my husband tended to masturbate 1-2 times a day, through adopting a lifestyle of orgasm control/denial and chastity, we have brought that down to him having an orgasm about 1-2 times a month – at least that has been the average over the last 6 months. He now does not have any private little masturbation sessions, and only has an orgasm with my permission.”

  • The Keyholder: This goes back to power and control, but Hottie loves being my “Keyholder.” She has made it clear to me that I will remain in chastity until she decides I can come out, and I always have to ask her permission first.  If Hottie leaves town, I still must remain in chastity, and if an emergency does arrive, she has hidden a key for me, but I still have to ask for it. We both also recognize there are times, when it is not practical for me to be in chastity. On those occasions, which may include business or personal travel, etc., Hottie will allow me to remove my chastity cage for the duration of those scenarios.
  • Sensual Domination:  Hottie considers chastity to be the ultimate form of sensual domination, and she understands that it actually takes strength to submit or to share power.   For her my willingness to submit to chastity not only fits in perfectly with our definition of a Dom-sub, female-led relationship, it’s a concrete example of it.


As was said above, one major benefit that Hottie and I will both acknowledge is the sexual electricity chastity creates for us.  Some keyholders and their males in chastity have developed a regular “cum” schedule, but Hottie prefers that we have no set schedule, because she wants me to be continually “motivated” and by not knowing when I might be released keeps her firmly in control.

In the meantime, when she wants to have sex, she knows I will give her the best foreplay, the best oral sex, and best big dildo sex she has ever had.   She might have 5, 7 or 10 orgasms while I’m locked up.  Because the sole focus is on her sexual pleasure, there is something extraordinarily powerful for both us with this dynamic.  At other times, she might release me from chastity for supervised masturbation, sloppy seconds, or she might just want little penis sex.  Because I never know when I will be released, and when I am, what that might mean, it’s like I’m continually sexually charged.  It is simply a dynamic that unless you have experienced it, you have no idea how powerful the mystery and tension can be.   As one of our male followers who has experienced male chastity explained, “My constant and undivided attention and unparalleled sexual pleasures of whatever type and frequency she desires.”  This is exactly what turns my wife on.

Penis Size and Male Chastity:  Of course, you don’t have to have a small penis to enjoy chastity, but I do know for me, that there is definitely a correlation of me having a small penis and my desire to be in chastity.  I asked my wife if she saw a correlation and she explained it to me this way, “Yes, I do think there is a correlation.  You “little” guys want our attention on your little penises, and through chastity we do focus on your little guy!”  My wife completely understands that for her (and me) there is a definite connection between my small penis and chastity.  For example, if I ask her why I’m in chastity, she might say two words, “Four Inches.”  Or, when I’m pleasuring her with her big dildo cock while locked in chastity, she might say, “It’s so much bigger and better, you know this is why you’re in chastity.”  And if she allows me to have big pussy sex, it’s validation to both us why I need to be in chastity.  For me, it’s a mental mind fuck of epic proportions, and my excitement isn’t lost on her either.

Mutual Decision:  Like everything else on our small penis relationship journey, the decision to enter chastity was a mutual decision.  It wasn’t that we felt like we were lacking anything, but we acknowledged that this concept was intriguing to us and potentially very exciting.  It has been all of that and much more.  The fact that it was a mutual decision turns us both on.  Because we were both equally interested in it, it allowed us to define the parameters and how it would work best for us.

Chastity is a sexual activity that some couples do merely as a little SPT fun or a playful activity they engage in once in a while to spice things up. For others, it is a more permanent lifestyle which they take more seriously.  We have even had some guys who have explained that they were in, what I would call, “Psychological Chastity” in that they do not wear a chastity cage, but are “mentally” in chastity and their partners control their orgasms without the use of a chastity device.

Lastly, the key phrase above “Mutual Decision” is what’s really important.  Male chastity does not have to include whips and chains, BDSM, nor does it have to lead to anything else. It really is like any other sexual practice, if it’s something you and your partner are interested in, then the two of you should talk about it and define what it means to both of you.

So, here are your questions:

(1)  Are you in a chastity relationship currently, and if so, do you like it or not?

(2)  If you are not in chastity, would you like to be, and if so, why?

(3)  If you are in chastity or have experienced it before, what would you say are the benefits or disadvantages for this kind of relationship?

As always, please feel free to add in anything else you think is important!

Cuckolding: Why Women Have Legitimate Concerns About It

Male Fantasies - Copy

The topic of cuckolding is one of the most popular subjects we have introduced and continue to discuss on the Blog.  It’s also one of the more controversial.   Some of our readers are openly in cuckold relationships, while many, many others desire to explore this kind of relationship with their partner, and yes, we do have those who have no interest in the subject whatsoever.

Those of you who have followed our blog know that Steve desires that I cuckold him.  While he makes it no secret that he desires this kind of relationship, I think he has done a really good job in being objective in his treatment of it. I thought his article, “Is Cuckolding A Viable Relationship Alternative?” posted on January 12, 2014 was especially helpful.  We have also introduced and explored Fantasy Cuckolding, which is a less risky alternative to the real thing, but is still a lot of fun.

One of the issues related to cuckolding that we haven’t covered in much depth is a woman’s concerns about it.   We were recently contacted by a few women that have asked us if we could share our thoughts on the subject specifically in terms of those concerns women typically have about it.   I thought this was an excellent idea for an article, because if you do any searching about cuckolding on the Internet, you don’t often see anything written about legitimate concerns a woman might have about it.  Instead, what you’re likely to find is how great of a lifestyle it is, and if they list any concerns women might actually have, they are often downplayed or even dismissed.

Since Steve and I have seriously considered entering into a cuckold lifestyle ourselves, I thought I could at least share my personal thoughts, and the host of concerns I have as a married woman who is considering it.  So, what I have attempted to do is address the concerns I have, and I think most women would have many of these same concerns if their husband ever approached them about engaging in such a lifestyle.  I have broken them down into three categories:  (1) Initial Concerns, (2) Secondary Concerns, and (3) Final Concerns.  All are equally important and should be considered with the utmost care and respect of both parties.

Initial Concerns:

  • Why does he want me to do this?  This is the first question any woman will ask themselves.  This question will then quickly be followed up with others such as, is he unhappy with our sex life?  Why does he want me to have sex with another man?  We may even think he has some sinister motive for asking us to consider this.  Does he think I’m a slut, and by agreeing to do this, it will “prove” it to him?  Or, is he really looking for an excuse to have sex with other women?  These are legitimate questions most women will ask.  I consider myself to be very sexually open and willing to try almost anything, but when Steve said that cuckolding would really turn him on, to be honest, I was floored.  The prospective cuckold thinks and might even say, “This is a great idea! You get to have all the sex you want, with whomever you want, whenever you want, what’s not to like?” Most “would be” cucks think any woman would sign up for this without a second thought, and unfortunately, those that do, are usually doing so for all the wrong reasons, and tend to regret it.  What’s far more common is they will think about this proposition and all of the associated questions for a very long time.  Some may even reject it outright initially.
  • What is his real motivation? I don’t’ know about the rest of you, but in my husband’s case, he wanted me to experience big cock sex.  Even though I had perfectly great sex with my husband despite the fact that he has a very small penis, I know this was his major motivation.  How did I know?  Well, every time he talked about it, his little penis would become stiff instantly.  Hard cocks (small or large) don’t lie, and his erection proved to me that seeing me with a man who had a larger cock was definitely the motivation behind it as far as Steve was concerned.  Plus, the fact that I have never had big cock sex was another motivation behind it for him.  I know the idea really, really turned him on, and he wanted me to be able to experience something he could not give me and which I had never experienced before.  As I became more and more familiar with the Blog, and in talking to many other small endowed men, I discovered that his motivation was not only sincere, but was also shared by many small endowed men, who have the same fantasy.

So, once I understood why he wanted me to do this and the motivation behind it, did I jump immediately on board?  Not at all, because to be honest, I knew there was much, much more to consider.  In fact, I should also point out, that just wrapping my arms around these initial concerns and even understanding his motivation behind it weren’t resolved in my head overnight.  Rather, I spent months just trying to sort it all out.

Secondary Concerns:

  • Considering a new paradigm: I grew up believing in the concept of traditional marriage.  Therefore, even though I was sexually very open, I had trouble embracing and accepting the concept of a nontraditional marriage.  I would venture to guess most women grew up believing similarly, so how do you introduce another man into your relationship, and reconcile that with your long held view of monogamy?  This is definitely not easy, and for many women, it’s impossible no matter how enticing it might sound.  To embrace it means accepting a new relationship paradigm, which is not easy for a woman to do.
  • Will you view your husband differently? This is a concern that I believe most women would have.  Will you view him in some way as less “manly,” or will you consider him to be simply enlightened?    If the other man is sexually superior, does that lessen your husband in your eyes?  If it is better, will you lose respect for him, or will you view him in a more positive light since he encouraged you to explore this?
  • How will cuckolding impact the sex life you have with your partner? Will this spur him on to really compensate and compete for you?  Will you want to have more sex with him or less sex?  And, what do you do if he wants to abdicate all of his responsibility for sexually satisfying you to your Bull?
  • Emotional/Physical Attachment: Another major issue is what if the wife becomes emotionally attached to her new Bull?   This is another important consideration to discuss and should not be downplayed.  It is a real fear of many women who consider this activity.  For a cuckolding arrangement to work the woman has to be able to separate out sex from the emotional involvement.  And, don’t forget it can work both ways, what if her Bull becomes emotionally attached to her?  It’s not just women who can become emotional about sex, men can too.  The reality for most women is, there at least has to be a physical attraction for the other male, and depending on whether or not it is an ongoing arrangement, an emotional attachment could develop too.

Final Concerns:

So, you have gotten this far, and you think you might be ready to cuckold your husband right?  Are there even more concerns and issues to contemplate?  Yes and here are some of the more obvious ones to me.

  • The Manipulative Cuck: I have communicated with enough cucks and “would be” cucks to know that some can be VERY manipulative.   They often suggest cuckolding in the first place because it excites them and makes their little penises stiff.  But, then they want to be in control and choreograph the entire scenario.  They may even want to tell you what size cock your Bull should have, or even want to select YOUR Bull.  They may have the whole scenario laid out where they want to be there and watch, and stroke off, or participate in some fashion.  Some may even want to video tape the entire session.  It’s as if their cuckoldress is their own personal porn queen.  For me, this begs the question, who is really in control here?  Is it the “submissive” cuck, or the dominant cuckoldress?  In this scenario, the submissive cuck has manipulated his cuckoldress to do exactly what he wants.  I don’t know about the rest of you prospective cuckoldresses out there, but this doesn’t work for me. If I decide to cuckold my husband, he knows it’s my pussy, and my rules, which is the way it should be.
  • Selecting Your Bull: Selecting your Bull sounds easy enough, but it really isn’t.  Do you prefer the Bull to be single, married but in a dysfunctional sexual relationship (if he is married, this could cause a lot of problems for obvious reasons), or newly divorced where he wants sex, but may not have the resources to date traditionally, and may even have a place to play.  Do you look for a Bull at a local bar, or go out of town to find one?  Do you advertise on the Internet at one of the numerous Married Women Dating Sites, or look elsewhere?  If you find a Bull, is it a one-time thing, or are you looking for a Bull who will service you on a regular basis?  These are all major questions that must be answered BEFORE you even begin your search.
  • There is no “Reset” Button:  Once you cuckold your husband, there is no turning back.  It’s not like you can undo what has been done, so it’s like the saying, “be careful for what you wish for, because you might just get it.”  It’s often been said when a couple considers swinging, that the husband drags his wife kicking and screaming to their first swingers party, but then has to take her home kicking and screaming because she wants to stay.  It can be similar with cuckolding, once you introduce it to her, she may come to really enjoy the sexual variety, and not want to give it up.  The reality that every “would be” cuckold must face is, once your wife experiences the raw, masculine power of a thick 8” cock between her legs, she may not view sex with her husband in the same way again, but by then, there is no going back.
  • Personal Safety: A woman and even a couple’s participation in this activity require common sense, and considering personal safety, should be at the TOP of the list. In addition, how much personal information you should divulge, if any is another VERY serious consideration.
  • STDs: If you watch any cuckold movies or videos, you will see “cum” literally “cumming” all over the place. You will see snowballs, creampies and everything else, but what you typically won’t see are condoms.  Why?  Because it’s not as titillating as seeing cum dripping from every body cavity.  But the reality is, any sexual activity comes with risks.  Understanding those risks and taking preventative measures is essential.  Remember, when you have unprotected sex with someone new, you are having sex with everyone they ever had sex with.  Sexual safety is, or should be, of paramount importance.


In conclusion, while cuckolding may be the ultimate fantasy of many guys, and can even be appealing to some women, there are obviously a whole litany of issues and concerns that must be dealt with beforehand.   To ignore them would be foolish, and even if you feel like you can honestly address all of the concerns you both have, you may still not choose to do it, instead opting for a much safer alternative of a fantasy cuckolding scenario.  Will I cuckold my husband?  That’s a good question.  One thing I have learned over the last few years is to never, say never!  :)

What do the rest of you think?  As always, we welcome your thoughts on the subject.



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