The Small Penis Relationship Continuum

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I have recently been engaged in a fascinating discussion with one of our female followers on small penis related issues.  We have talked in-depth about a wide range of issues, and I explained to her that I have been working on a concept for some time now, that I refer to as a “Small Penis Relationship Continuum.  I would like to attempt to describe this concept to those of you who are our followers, and then let you weigh in on what you think about it.

Definition:  To begin with, we need a definition of what a Small Penis Relationship is.  For me, I would define it as follows:  “A relationship where the male’s real or perceived small penis size, or even the fear of having a small penis, is acknowledged and embraced in the relationship. I say real or perceived because there is no “size requirement” to be in such a relationship.  Many men of average and even above average penis size can and do enjoy this kind of relationship.”

Fantasy/Reality Continuum: The fantasy-reality continuum is critical to understand how this relationship was established.  This is especially important in the beginning when the “small penis talk” is held:  depending on where the male partner falls on the scale, and on how truly important this is for the female, the talk will have very different challenges and develop unique patterns toward a balanced solution for the couple. The talk then lies the groundwork for building the specific “small penis relationship” that fits for the couple. If it’s real for both, the point of balance will require tactics of compensation. If it’s real for him, but not important for her, the SPT activity will be focused to serve his needs and have the “edge of truth”. If it’s not real for him, the SPT will have a special edge too – the edge of “vulnerability”: you’re admitting this topic matters to you; even if you’re not small, you’re showing yourself vulnerable to your partner.

Thus, once the “small penis relationship” has been established, regardless of whether it is rooted in fantasy or reality, it then becomes important for you and your partner to find your comfort zone in it.  For example, for some couples it may be strictly a fantasy based relationship.  While the male may have a small penis, it is not the sole focus of the relationship, so their choice of activities are more fantasy driven.  For another couple, they may be in the center of the continuum and may look at it like their relationship is part fantasy but also part reality based as well.  And for other couples, at the far right of the continuum they may look at their small penis relationship as completely reality based.  So what they decide to do is based solely on the reality that the male in the relationship does have a small penis.  Thus, this continuum may look like this:

Fantasy Based→ Part Fantasy/Part Reality Based→ Reality Based

Frequency Continuum:  Similarly, there is also a Frequency Continuum, which is a punctual description of how often penis size drives sexuality within a couple.  It tells us some about how the “small penis relationship” is, in the here and now.  For example some couples, especially for those whose relationship is more fantasy based, they may engage in small penis related activities only occasionally as a break or interlude from their “normal” sexual practices.  Other couples may engage in these activities more frequently, but not all the time.  But for those couples, especially those in a “reality based” small penis relationship, they may engage in small penis activities all or most of the time.  This continuum would simply look like this:

Occasional → Frequently → Permanently

The Pervasiveness Continuum:   There is also a third continuum which ties together both the fantasy/reality and frequency continuums together.  The question to be answered is, how pervasive is the small penis theme in your relationship?  Is it the one and only theme (with plenty of expressions, ranging from role play to dildo play or cuckolding), or is it one theme among many?  For example, perhaps the small penis theme is one of two themes in your sexual repertoire, with the other theme being “regular” or romantic sex in which there is no focus on penis size at all.  In this case, the small penis theme is just one out of two, and thus it “competes” with only one other “rival” source of sexual excitement and attention for the couple.  For another couple, they may have three or more sexual “themes” garnering attention and interest for the couple.  So in the Pervasiveness Continuum, so frequently is the small penis theme prevalent in your relationship?  Is there:

Occasional Focus→ Frequent Focus → Sole Focus

So, when you look at these three continuums and the variables in each one, you can clearly see how many possible combinations and variety there can be for a couple in a small penis relationship.

A Cascading Menu of Options:  Whether you are in a fantasy based or reality based small penis relationship, and regardless of the frequency and pervasiveness with which you engage in these activities, there is a “menu” of options you have to choose from.  So, imagine if you will, having the following “drop down” ala carte menu of potential activities:

The “Menu”
1 SPT/SPH comments that are more mild or subtle “hints” that the male doesn’t measure up
2 SPT/SPH comments that are more direct and open
3 Role-Play Scenarios
4 Being Outed by your wife or partner where your fully erect size is stated
5 Self-Outing – where you go the gym, a nude beach, etc., and out yourself, (but your soft size leaves doubt about your fully aroused size)
6 Cock or Dildo Comparisons
7 Dildo Play
8 Sloppy seconds – which is taken to mean you go second after your wife has been pleasured by a larger dildo, or it can also mean going second after performing oral sex on your partner
9 Orgasm Denial occasionally – perhaps just once in a while
10 Orgasm Denial for a sustained period of time (1 month or more)
11 Withholding Sex– perhaps just once in a while
12 Withholding Sex for a sustained period of time (1 month or more)
13 Male Chastity
14 Female-Led or Dom-sub Relationship
15 Panties
16 Fantasy Cuckolding
17 Real Life Cuckolding
18 Other options 

Even within these “activities” there are options.  For example, some couples may choose not to use dildos at all, while another couple might choose to use them 25-50% of the time, and another couple might opt to use them all the time.  It’s the same thing with everything else on the list.  You and your partner decide what options you like, which ones you don’t, and how frequently you want to engage in any of them.

Let me try to explain this overall concept with a couple of examples.  The woman I have been corresponding with is awesome.  Her husband has a very “average” cock size, but he mustered up the courage to explain to her that he would like SPT.  While she was admittedly a little apprehensive at first, she really appreciated his willingness to open himself up and be vulnerable to her.  So, they began engaging in SPT from more of a fantasy based position and only occasionally.  From the “drop down” menu they have dabbled in a few things but seem to enjoy the light SPT and role play scenarios.  For them, they acknowledge that they are half-way between fantasy and reality. On frequency, they are clearly on the occasional end right now: but this changes over time. And finally, on importance or pervasiveness they’re again in the middle: it’s not their only sexual theme, but it is one of two and it occupies at least 50% of their mental space. In fact, given that the alternative is often “regular sex,” this theme gets more thought and attention from them. For them, where they have “landed” in the continuum is the perfect place for them.

For other couples, they may be more in the middle of the continuum in that their small penis relationship is part fantasy/part reality based and they might engage in activities in a more frequent but still not permanent basis, and they may also be in the middle in the pervasiveness continuum.  They may also have a more exhaustive list of activities they engage in, but there may still be some that hold no interest for them at all.

And finally, there are also couples like me and my wife who are on the right side of all three continuums.  For us, our small penis relationship is grounded completely on reality and is a 24-7 lifestyle.  We also have engaged in most of the activities on the “Drop Down” menu and enjoy them all.

The other point I want to underscore is there are options, plenty of options for couples to choose from.  There is no right way or wrong way to have a “small penis relationship” or what it needs to consist of, because it is solely up to you and your partner.  Wherever a couple lands on these three continuums, and as long as they are both in their comfort level and traveling parallel paths,  a small penis relationship can be defined how you want to define it and then hopefully, you can just have a lot of fun exploring it together.

What do the rest of you think?  Where do you fit on the Small Penis Relationship continuum?

The “Outing” of Steve

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“Outing” is one of those fascinating topics that I have learned about through interaction on the blog. It still amazes me just how many guys want to be “outed.”  When I think about outing, there are essentially two kinds of outing that we have talked about: (1) being outed by your female partner, or (2) self-outing.  To me, the difference is when you are outed by your partner it’s clear it’s about his erection size, while self-outing on nude beaches or in showers or locker rooms, guys are typically in a soft state which leaves some doubt as to the real penis size since there are “growers and showers.” Thus for Steve, while self-outing has little appeal, I know being outed by me is much more exciting and powerful for him.

I have known Steve has wanted to be “outed” for some time now, and while I wasn’t opposed to it at all, I really hadn’t had the opportunity… until recently. But that has all changed now, because he has been outed!  :)

This is how it all came about.  I got a call from one of my best friends who was having some relationship issues and she desperately wanted to talk with me about them.  We decided to have a GNO (Girls Night Out) so we could catch up and she invited me over last weekend to spend the night.

I have known her for about 15 years of which she has been married for the past 14 years.  We have gone out with them as couples, and have often gone to strip clubs together, after dinner, just to have a little titillating excitement and fun.  She is tall, has a great body, fun personality and guys are always attracted to her.  Despite the fact that we are about 15 years difference in age, whenever we are together, people often think we are sisters.  We are likeminded sexually and can talk about anything and everything.

We went to a local bar and I quickly found out what was troubling her.  While she loves her husband, she was not getting the amount of sex that she needed, and her husband just wasn’t giving her the kind of attention that she craved either. But, one of her co-workers was giving her plenty of attention, and she admitted that she even wanted to have sex with him.  She was torn about what to do, and had even confessed all of this to her husband – including that she wanted to have some wild sex with the other guy. The interesting thing is, he didn’t say no. They have actually talked about a 3-some before with another woman. She also told me that he was very submissive.

At that point, I said, “Well, maybe he’s a cuckold?”  She looked at me with a quizzical expression and said, “A what?”  I said, “A cuckold, a guy that wants his wife to have sex with other men, and sometimes they even like to watch.”  I know I really surprised her when I said, “Steve is a cuckold, and wants me to experience big cock sex” She was surprised and smiled, and said,“Really?” 

She then said that her husband was big and held her hands apart and said that he was about “this big.”  The distance seemed to be about 7-8 inches. I then held up one hand, just a finger and thumb, about 4″ apart and said this is how big Steve is. I went on to explain that Steve wanted me to experience big cock sex because I had never had it, and I admitted that I really wanted it too. I told her that my biological clock is ticking and I said, “If I will ever experience big cock sex, it’s now or never.”   I continued on and said, “Even though Steve has a very small penis, he IS an oral master.”  She just smiled, and said, “That’s important to me too!

She admitted that a big cock was a necessity for her and that her first partner was huge and he “ruined her”  :)   I asked her how she knew this guy who was hitting on her was big, and she said, “I checked out his package.  :)   Just to be clear, I didn’t encourage her to have sex with the guy who was hitting on her, but what I did encourage her to do was to talk more about what she was feeling with her husband and see where that led.  I also reiterated the obvious potential pitfalls of “swimming in the company pond” as it were.

To be honest, being able to have such an open and honest discussion about relationships, sex, and penis size was awesome.  I actually felt it was liberating in a way, because it gave me a chance to talk to another woman about my desire to experience big cock sex, and she totally understands why I’m VERY curious about it.  In a way, I think she was even somewhat envious that Steve and I have a cuckold relationship that will allow for this to happen.

How did I feel about “outing” Steve?  It was a major turn on for me, primarily because I knew how much it would turn him on, and it sure did.  At one point she had to use the restroom, and when she excused herself, I sent Steve a selfie of the two of us smiling and obviously feeling pretty good after I don’t know how many drinks, and I simply added, “You have been outed!”  With a smiley face!   His reaction was, “OMG, really?”  I simply responded back with “Yes little cuck.”  I know it tortured him to have to wait for all the details until I got home the next day!  :)

Steve’s Reaction in his own words:

I was incredibly and immediately aroused!  We had talked about outing before, but I never knew if it would happen or not, and I honestly didn’t even know if it would be as erotic in reality as it was as a fantasy.  But, it was even more exciting in reality.  Of course, I naturally wanted to know all of the details, but I would have to wait until the next day to find them all out.  In the meantime, I was awake all night dying to hear them.

The person she outed me to was also perfect in every way.  Because she is a close friend, I felt entirely confident that she wouldn’t “broadcast” my lack of endowment to the entire civilized world.  She is also very attractive, and highly sexual. But, probably the best part of all is, she is sexually honest about being a “Size Queen” who places a premium on cock size for sexual satisfaction.  That made it all the more erotic than if she had “outed” me to someone who was ambivalent about cock size. There is also something about another women not only knowing that you have a very small penis, but also knows your exact erect penis size measurement that is incredibly exciting too.  The fact that she knows I only have a 4” erect penis is intimate knowledge about me that she will always possess, and there is something about that which is a major turn on for me.

XXX

The interesting thing about all of this is my BF and I have been texting each other nonstop ever since.  We have concluded that we need to have another “GNO” just to talk about the last Girls Night Out!  :)    We also decided that the next time we get together that it should be at my place.  This of course will take Steve’s “outing” to the next logical step – he will be around the woman who knows he has a little 4” penis!  :)

So, what do the rest of you think about our little “outing” adventure?

Do You Have a Hotwife?

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When most of us think of the term “Hotwife” we usually associate it with the swinging or cuckolding cultures, but it doesn’t have to be associated with either.  You can have a “Hotwife” – or, if you prefer “Hot Wife” (two words) and it can simply mean that your wife is hot!    I’m lucky.  I have a beautiful and simply stunningly attractive wife.  Because she is a tall, blue-eyed blonde with an engaging smile, she is the kind of woman that, even if you were happily married, you would steal a second glance.   She would probably deny this, but she also radiates sexual energy.  There are just some women, that when you see them, you think to yourself, “She’s hot!”  My wife is one of those women.  She is not just 1Hotwife on the blog, she is ONE HOT WIFE!   I love thinking of her as a Hotwife!

In the recent article I wrote, How I Stifled My Wife’s Sexuality, I explained how my penis size insecurities stifled my wife’s sexuality in the bedroom.  Well, I will also admit that I felt threatened and yes, even jealous about other men being attracted to my wife.  But, with my small penis acceptance, everything changed both inside and outside the bedroom, and to be honest, it wasn’t a moment too soon and was the best thing that ever happened in our relationship.  It allowed me to look at my wife in a new and exciting way and I could acknowledge to myself and to her just how attractive and desirable she was.

So, the title of this post is, Do You Have a Hotwife?  Well, I can only speak for myself, but to me, the answer is obvious, yes, I do have a Hotwife.  The benefits of telling your wife she is a “Hotwife” can be numerous too and include:

Confidence:  When you think your wife is a Hotwife and you tell her, it can give her a lot of confidence.  But it’s even deeper than that.  Everyone LOVES compliments and that includes your Hotwife.  When was the last time you complimented her on how she looks, a new hair style, or how great she looks in that new blouse or anything else for that matter?  If she goes to work and other guys are feeding this need and you’re not she is left wondering why do other guys notice me, but my own husband doesn’t?  It may be flattering to her that other guys notice, but it’s deflating when her own partner never makes a positive comment.  And don’t give the excuse, “Oh my wife knows what I think.  We have been married so long, she has to know.”  Compliments never get old and they feed the confidence.  To be honest, I know I still need to do a better job with this, but I am trying to be much more aware of the need to be more vocal about this.  By the way, when my wife feels like a Hotwife that translates into her feeling more desirable. She feels a lot more confidence and sexual energy, and that translates into more sex for me!  :)

Motivation (Her):  Being a Hotwife can serve as a major source of motivation for a woman.  If a woman feels like a Hotwife, it can inspire her to look even better, and to be in better shape.  If my Hotwife gains a half a pound, it’s damn near a catastrophe.  She wants to look her best both in and out of clothes, so she is very motivated to go to the gym and watch what she eats, because she wants to feel like a Hotwife.

Motivation (Him):  Surprisingly, having a Hotwife can (or should) provide motivation to the man to be a “Hot Husband.”  It should be unacceptable for a man to insist his wife look like a Hotwife, while he gets a free pass.  No Hotwife is going to want work hard to look her best and have a partner who is a couch potato.  If having a Hotwife doesn’t inspire you to want to look your best, it should.

Inspiration & Validation:  Having a Hotwife is inspiring. My wife is in a little bit of denial about this, but I have witnessed how other men look at my wife with my own eyes.  I have literally seen men walk into walls or fall off chairs because they are fixated on her. They might be attracted to her because she is a tall, striking blonde, or because of her great tits, ass or legs.  Whatever the reason, there is no doubt that men are fixated on my Hotwife.

Here is a funny but true story.  One time my wife had to work with a guy that she knows is a major “perv.”  He’s married, but just has this constant bad habit of saying things that are totally inappropriate and even sexually suggestive.  So he is working with my wife one time, and she felt like he was staring at her cleavage, which he was, and he just blurted out, “You have great tits.”  Now, if he had said that to anyone else, he might have gotten slapped in the face or called up to the sexual harassment committee but because my wife was not threatened at all, she just brushed it off.   Now, when she told me that story later I found it humorous, and I said, “Well, even though it was inappropriate, I’m sure he was just verbalizing what every other guy is thinking, but would never dare to say. I have to give him credit for at least being honest.”

Here’s another example.  As I said, I love my wife’s body, and everything I say about it is true.  I especially love my wife’s breasts and obviously other guys do too.  I think they are perfect in every way.  I have told her many times over the years, that she had the breasts of an 18-year old.  They are perky and firm – just perfect.  By the way, the photo above was no accident, I chose it because this woman’s breasts look almost identical to my Hotwife’s.  Several years ago, she was in her upper 40’s and decided to explore the idea of breast implants.  I told her that her breasts were perfect, but I think she wanted them a little more “enhanced.” Well, we went in to see the surgeon to get an opinion.  She took off her clothes, and what do you think were the first words out of his mouth?  He said, “You have the breasts of an 18-year old.”  I thought to myself, “Where have you heard that before?  Oh, wait, I said that!   She decided not to go through with it, but for me, and I think even for her, to hear a doctor who sees breasts all day long say the same thing to her at that age was more validation.

I love having a Hotwife.  She obviously has the body, but she also has the personality, and seeing the irrefutable evidence that I know other guys are turned on by my wife as well, is actually very exciting!

So here are your questions:

Men:

  • Do you think of your wife as a Hotwife? If so, why, and if not, why not?
  • If she doesn’t consider herself to be one, do you wish she would?
  • If you know your wife commands the attention of other men, does that turn you on or off?

Women:

  • Are you a Hotwife? Does your husband consider you one?
  • If not, do you wish your husband thought of you as a Hotwife?

As always, feel free to add your thoughts!

Steve:  Play613796@aol.com

1Hotwife:  Hotwife2013@aol.com

Why I Love Comparing Cocks

Steve Vs. Dildo - Copy Over the last three years, I have really enjoyed participating in the LSP blog and having the opportunity to interact with so many interesting small endowed men.  I have especially enjoyed attempting to answer your questions, and also reading your SPT survey results.  One of the remarkable things I have learned is how eager these men have been to share with me what turns them on the most and explain why these things turn them on.  Your honesty has been refreshing and allowed me to look inside the mind of men with small penises.

For the woman who wants to unlock the mind of her small endowed husband, the “Why” is just as important as the “What” in terms of understanding why things turn them on.  In analyzing the results of the SPT Survey, Question 22 was particularly informative. On a scale of 0-5, with 0 (no interest) to 5 (very high interest), participants were asked to provide their most desirable forms of SPT.  One of the most favorite forms of SPT was Cock or Dildo Comparisons, with an average score of 4.42. Why are cock comparisons so appealing for the small endowed man?  There are several reasons that come to mind.

First, the man who enjoys cock comparisons, and knows that he doesn’t measure up is usually very secure with his penis size, and even his relationship.  Obviously, if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t want to be compared to other men, and would definitely not want to be compared with your former partners or any other men.  So first and foremost, his acceptance and “enlightened” attitude have a lot to do with it.  This is not insignificant and is actually very important to sexual honesty.

Second, and because he is comfortable with his small endowment, he is very aroused by the “taboo” idea that his partner would be open enough to affirm this obvious “truth” for him.  After all, he already knows it’s true, he also knows that you know it too, but when his female partner acknowledges this truth too, it can be as liberating as it is arousing for him. So, if you’re a woman reading this, but you haven’t quite been able to provide this for your partner, but you would like to, here are some ideas on how to get started:

  • Understanding his Desire: The first thing a woman should do if her partner has expressed an interest in cock comparisons, is to ask him specifically why it is such a turn on for him.  Ask him direct questions as to what about it turns him on, and what kind of comparisons he is interested in.  The more you understand the psychology behind it for him, the better apt you are to be able to provide it for him.
  • Becoming “Cock Centric”: A lot of women are not “cock centric” in that they typically don’t focus on inches or specific penis sizes.  The more you understand what the average penis size is, and what size your partner is by comparison, the more it will set the stage to provide him with an honest cock comparison.  One of the fun sites to visit is the Visualizer where a woman (or couple) can go in and insert the length and girth of her partner and compare him with other guys, including the “ideal woman’s size preference,” other Visualizer members, porn stars, etc.  It can be a lot of fun comparing and contrasting various lengths and girths, and total volume. The image above is a comparison of my husband Steve’s small, 4” penis next to the size of my favorite dildo!  Obviously, there is quite a noticeable difference.  :-)
  • Comparison with Former Partners:  For the man who is super turned on by cock comparisons, there is no more real comparison for him than for you to compare his penis with those of your former lovers.  How does he measure up by comparison?  He will also want to know your thoughts, feelings when confronted with those other cocks.  One of our favorite female contributors, Rougedmount posted just such an article on her blog on April 28, 2014, called, “My Lovers Cocks.” http://rougedmount.wordpress.com/2013/04/28/my-lovers-cocks/.  In reading that description and knowing the men that frequent our blog, I doubt few could read it without fantasizing that it was their wife providing such vivid and descriptive details.
  • The Difference: Another thing that really turns men on who crave cock comparisons, is having you describe the physical difference/feelings and sensations you have experienced with different sized cocks.  It’s also important to describe the psychological differences you experience between seeing a small, average or large one.
  • Your Ideal Cock Size Preference: Have you ever told your partner what your ideal cock size was?  If not, knowing what your ideal is, would definitely turn him on too.  The more descriptive you are the better.  For example, how long is your ideal cock?  How thick would it be, how big would his balls be?  What would be the ideal shape of the cock head, etc.?  Do you prefer circumcised or uncircumcised cocks?  The more details you provide, the better because these are all things that will defintely turn him on.
  • Being Proactive: Don’t wait for him to bring it up, be proactive and seek opportunities to do visual cock comparisons frequently.   Suggest you and your partner watch erotic movies, or video clips, etc., and make sure you compare your partner to those guys you see on screen. And don’t be bashful about telling him when you see a nice looking or perfect sized cock.   How does your partner measure up?  For those who use sex toys, how does your partner compare with your favorite dildo?  He would love these kinds of comparisons, and would especially appreciate it if you initiated it. Whenever we use my big boy toy, I almost always hold it up next to his little penis and I can tell that it turns him on to see how much smaller he is in comparison.  :-)

These are just a few examples of how you can provide your partner with the cock comparisons he is craving, but I’m sure there are other ideas you can think of too!  Not only is this desire of his easy to provide, it can actually be fun and erotic for you as well.  Trust me, you will be the beneficiary of his arousal!  :-)

Finally, to answer the question of this post, why do I love comparing cocks?  First and foremost, I love it because it turns my husband on.  As I have said throughout this blog, I can’t provide my husband the sexual excitement he craves if he doesn’t share it with me what turns him on, and when I see how hard his stiff little penis gets when I do it, its proof positive he loves it.  Why would a woman not want to turn her partner on?  Secondly, I love it because to be honest, I love looking at penises and cocks of all sizes and shapes.  I think it is fun, exciting and helps to keep me in the mood!  :-)

Here are today’s questions:

Men:

  • Does your partner provide cock comparisons for you?
  • If so, what kinds of cock comparisons turn you on the most and why?
  • If not, would you like for her to do it?

Women:

  • Have you ever compared your partner’s cock with others?
  • If so, what kind of cock comparisons do you do, and does your partner like it?
  • Do you like it, and if so, why?
  • If you haven’t provided your partner with Cock Comparisons, is this something you are considering, or you have no interest in?

As always please feel free to add anything else you feel is relevant to the topic.  And if there are different examples of cock comparisons not listed above, please feel free to share them. Thanks for your responses!

Small Penis Sexual Honesty Can Be a Relationship Game Changer

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This is probably an over generalization, but I believe there are three types of men that have small penises.  (1)  Those that are angry about it and often times are jealous and very insecure about it.  (2)  Those that know they are small, and are perfectly ok with it, but are just not into talking about it.  (3) Those of us that are small and know it, and nothing turns us on more than talking about it, sexualizing it and eroticizing about it.

This article is offered to women who are in relationships with men that have small penises, who are in category # 3, and you may have been approached by your partner wanting you to openly acknowledge his shortcomings.  On the surface, this may seem like an odd request to you, but, if he has fully accepted his small penis, nothing will turn him on more than your simple acknowledgement of it.  I can’t stress enough how important it is for him to have you validate this “truth” to him.  By doing so, it can have a profound and positive effect on your relationship in ways, you may not have ever considered.

Unfortunately, many couples cannot, or will not have an open and honest discussion about male penis size and the effect it has on their relationships.  Despite the more enlightened times we live in, penis size is still largely a “taboo” and forbidden subject in relationships.  It is therefore the “elephant” in the room in far too many relationships.

But, for guys who have accepted their small penis, we often times want to bring the topic up with our wives/partners.   We want to “sexualize” and celebrate our small penis and are often enthusiastic and eager to talk about it.  But if we do muster up the courage to discuss it, it’s not always received in the way we wish it had been.  There are several reasons why this might be the case.  Here are some of the typical reasons women have a problem acknowledging their partners small penis size:

  • The woman doesn’t want to give the impression that she is disappointed in our penis size and/or performance in the bedroom. She may simply not want to do or say anything that may reflect negatively on our “manhood.”
  • She may also look at the whole “package” of the attributes we possess. For example, we are a (good provider, good husband, father, etc.) and in the hierarchy of what’s important to her, it may just not be that important.   This is sometimes hard for guys who crave small penis acceptance and SPT, but the reality is, this is how some women think.
  • Women generally also don’t think in “inches.” You may be 4.8,” or 5.3” and the reality is your wife/partner probably doesn’t even care. To be honest, I know there are some women who don’t even know their husband’s penis size.
  • Lastly, and this is important, there is a possibility that our wife/partner may be very sexually satisfied and content with us regardless of our penis size.

So, is it really any surprise why many of our wives/partners are reluctant to acknowledge our small penises?   But, what these women don’t understand is the title of this article, “Small Penis Sexual Honesty can be a Relationship Game Changer,” is true and within their grasp.   What it takes for this to happen is for a woman to become “enlightened.”  You become enlightened by understanding exactly what’s going on in the small penis male mind, and then tapping into it in a way that will turn him on like nothing else you have ever experienced.  If you learn to do this, you might be very surprised and pleased about a new and exciting direction your relationship can take.

My wife and I have heard from a lot of men who peruse this blog and they tell us that their wives either (a) don’t get it, or (b) refuse to acknowledge the obvious.  The comment my wife usually makes when she hears this is, “Why would a woman not want to give her partner what he clearly wants, and is so easily provided?  As a woman, I want to know what turns my husband on so I can provide it.  If I don’t know what turns him on, I can never give it to him.”  I wish more women thought this way, and she’s right, it is so easy to do.  The same can be said for me too, I always want to know what turns my wife on so I can provide it for her too.

If you’re a woman who is reading this and your partner has requested that you acknowledge his small penis, then it’s pretty obvious that he is very comfortable being small and he wants to sexualize it.  That is not a bad thing, in fact, for a lot of small endowed men, when they discover that they desire this, it is often an epiphany for them because they are very comfortable being small and they just want to talk about it.  They know you are settling for less, but they are eager to embrace this sexual honesty and internal truth, and when a woman “gets this” it can be a relationship game changer.

I have had the pleasure recently of communicating with one of our “enlightened” female members about this very subject.  Her husband has a small penis, and he expressed his desire for SPT to her.  She explained her response this way:  “I’m gratified by the fact that my partner is willing to show this vulnerability and to share a fetish which is potentially embarrassing with me. It is a demonstration of his love and trust. For my partner instead it’s become important because it allows him to face his own fears and accept that these fears are as much a part of him as all his moments of strength and resolution. In fact, I perceive him as stronger and more manly because of this.”  When it comes specifically to providing SPT to her partner she said, “I really love it, because it deepens intimacy, creates vulnerability and brings a touch of humor to sex.”  I find her openness about this topic refreshing, and I wish more women understood the potential of having this this level of sexual honesty and experiencing the positive impact it can have on a relationship.

So, you are a woman and your partner has said he desires, indeed he craves for you to acknowledge his small penis.  Maybe you are somewhat open to the idea, but have no clue of where to start.  Well, here are a few ideas of how you can broach the subject with him that will no doubt turn him on, and can potentially begin changing your relationship in a more positive direction at the same time:

  • Affirmation: This is the perfect place to start. There is nothing that will get his attention quicker than when you openly acknowledge that he has a small penis.  If you have never done that before, it will definitely turn him on.  Learn penis size statistics so you know where he stands in the pecking order – and let him know, that you know.  If his little penis becomes stiff and he is clearly excited, then it will be obvious to you that you can feel free to continue on.
  • Reflect Back: Show interest in his small penis and this interest can be demonstrated by asking him questions about his small penis experiences that might include:  “What’s it like for you to have a small penis?”  What do you think about?”   “When you go into a locker room and the other guys are bigger, how does that make you feel, submissive, in awe or what other emotions do you experience?”   “Have any women ever told you that you were small, and if so, how did that make you feel?”  This kind of inquiry can really open the door to his soul and give you a much better idea of why he thinks like he does.

At the same time, it’s also equally important for you to be completely open and honest about how you feel your partner’s small penis affects your sexual satisfaction too.  I obviously can’t speak for all women, but I can provide a few examples of how our sexual honesty has affected my wife and enhanced our sexual relationship

  • Sexual Frustration: If you have ever been sexually frustrated due to the size of your partner’s penis, be honest and explain it to him. Don’t be dishonest and tell him everything is perfect if it isn’t. Remember he wants and deserves honesty.   For example, my wife has explained to me that there are just some sex positions that don’t work for her simply because my penis isn’t long enough.  There are other positions and certain times when my lack of thickness is obvious too.  She didn’t say these things in a mean way; rather it was in a straight forward and honest way.  It really turned me on that she was so open about it. It has also been fun exploring different sexual positions that are much more effective for the smaller penis.
  • Does Size Does Matter? Size may not matter to a woman, but if it does don’t say it doesn’t matter. I believe many women are very hesitant to acknowledge this to their smaller endowed partners because they don’t want to hurt his feelings. But, I would venture to say that for most small endowed men on this site, it’s not only ok for you to acknowledge it, it would really turn us on because again, you’re being completely honest.    My wife is one of those women who would have previously said that size didn’t matter.  But, through her experimentation with larger dildos she has come to the conclusion that bigger isn’t just better, it’s a lot better.  She has acknowledged that the ideal cock size for her would be 7” to 7 ½” long, by 5 ½” around, which is obviously much more than I have.  But again, I’m not only ok with it; it turns me on because she has been sexually honest with me.  Consequently, she no longer has to feel bashful about stating a preference for “big cock dildo sex,” and there may even  be some nights when she has big cock sex with her dildo, and wants little penis sex with me too, which provides her with a variety of different size sensations.
  • Compensation: My wife understands why small endowed men need to be highly motivated to please their woman by any means necessary and she isn’t shy about reminding me that I need to compensate for my small penis.  My willingness and enthusiasm to compensate really turns her on.  She loves the fact that I have become a master at oral sex and providing her with lots of foreplay and attention, and willing to use sex toys, etc.  These are all things most small endowed men embrace.  We are usually very inspired and eager to “level the playing field” by being more attentive and focusing in on our partner’s needs.
  • Sexual Experimentation: My wife is also very sexually curious and willing to try just about anything.  Her openness and willingness to share with me her innermost fantasies and desires is extremely erotic and very arousing for me.

These are just a few examples of how my wife has embraced my small penis, and also been willing to share her open and honest feelings about it.  Prior to our “small penis sexual honesty” discussions, like many couples, we had a pretty vanilla sexual relationship for many years.  While we loved each other and really enjoyed having sex, we will both knew there was something missing.  There didn’t seem to be the electricity, the excitement and sexual tension that should have been there.  But, through our open and honest discussions about my penis size and how it impacted our relationship, we have discovered a new and amazing sex life.  In fact, we both agree that our sexual relationship today is far more exciting and open than it has ever been.

To the women out there, if your partner has a small penis, and it turns him on for you to acknowledge it, what are you waiting for?  By accepting and acknowledging his small penis, coupled with explaining to him how it affects you personally, can lead you in a new and exciting direction!

So here are today’s questions for both men and women who are in small penis relationships:

  • Have you been able to have the “penis size talk” in your relationship?
  • If so, was it a positive or negative experience?
  • If it was positive, how would you describe the benefits you both have realized from it?
  • If you haven’t had “the talk,” what’s stopping you?

As always, please feel free to add your thoughts and pearls of wisdom!

Do You Shave?

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We posed this question to women several months ago and got some interesting responses.  Recently, several guys have indicated on the blog that they are shaved, and it led Hottie and me into an interesting discussion about men and their grooming habits down there. I haven’t seen any statistics on the subject, but my guess is that a lot more men are shaving their pubic area these days than in the past.  My sense is, and this is just my own speculation, that like women, more guys, especially in the younger generations are not only more comfortable shaving but also look more favorably on it as well.

For those guys that shave, we’re curious to know what your motivation or interest is in doing so. For example, one of our male followers commented one time that being shaved heightened his sensitivity down there and cited this as a major advantage to being shaved.  So there may be some sensual advantages to shaving. I have also read that some men in chastity shave to avoid having random hairs pinching or getting caught in their chastity cages, so for them, shaving may simply be because it is more practical to do so. But, for men with small penises, I’m guessing there may be other reasons or motivations behind shaving or not shaving.  For example, and this is just my personal observation as well, I think some small endowed men (especially those who have not accepted their small size) probably wouldn’t want to shave for fear of drawing too much attention and focus on their small members.  But, on the other hand, I think some small endowed guys shave precisely because it is, in a way, an “outing.”  Being completely shaved would, in a sense, “showcase” and draw immediate attention to their mini-members which is very exciting for them.  In this last example, they shave because it’s sexually arousing for them.

So in the end, I think there may be three primary reasons why a guy might shave:  (1) Heightened sensitivity, (2) Practical reasons, or (3) Sexual arousal.   I suppose you could add a fourth reason – guys might just want to shave for hygiene reasons as well. So, all of this leads me to today’s questions:

Questions for Men:

  • Are you shaved, trimmed or “au natural?”
  • If you’re shaved, was it your idea or your partners?
  • If you are shaved, what is/was your motivation behind it?

Questions for Women:

  • Is your guy shaved, trimmed or “au natural?”
  • If he is shaved, was it your idea or his?
  • If he is shaved, what is it about him being shaved that turns you on the most?

As always, feel free to add anything else you think is relevant to the topic.  Thanks!

Do You Wear Panties?

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I receive a lot of really interesting emails from guys.  I’m always fascinated by what turns them on and why.  One of the real eye openers for me is just how many guys have a panty fetish.   They either openly wear them in their relationships, or wish they could.  Wearing women’s panties, like many of the topics we have discussed on this blog was never on my radar screen, nor was it on my husband’s either.  In fact, it was one of those topics that Steve always said that he wanted to stay away from because it just seemed so humiliating, and why would a guy want to do that?

I was chatting with one guy in particular who had this fetish, and I asked him to explain it to me and he sent me a whole series of links of articles to read.  I read them all, one by one, and I just didn’t get it.  It just seemed, as I had suspected, to be way over the top.   But then, I read the last one, “How To Panty Your Husband,” By happywife82 that was posted on Literotica.  Here is the link for anyone interested in reading it:  http://www.literotica.com/s/how-to-panty-your-husband

When I read that article, I suddenly found myself understanding why this might actually appeal to men.  To be honest, it actually turned me on reading it.  The true “acid test” for me though was getting a reaction from Steve about what he thought about it.  So, I read each of the following passages to him and asked him for his honest response:

  • “Yes, a lot of women like their guys in panties – and a big cock in panties can be sexy as hell! But a pantied husband, in my experience, is most often a husband with shortcomings … and everyone in the relationship not only acknowledges it – but celebrates it.” BOING!
  • “So the first reason to panty your man is acceptance. If his penis fits into a snug little pair of panties, he is tiny. He knows it, you know it, the question is – is anyone bringing this little fact out in the open. When you do, your man will likely feel incredible relief. He just wants to be able to talk about, and sexualize, his small penis. Give him a chance to showcase his cute little guy!” BOING!
  • “Starting out slowly is a good idea. ”Honey, I had a wicked thought – try on these panties for me!” He might be reluctant, but you will know his true reaction by the reaction of his little guy. If your man has a small penis, and you have him strip and step into panties for you as you ooohh and ahh, I can almost guarantee he will get hard, and instantly.”  BOING!
  • “Another common aspect of a pantied husband / female-led relationship is to switch up the way you make love. Feel free to let your special guy know it’s time for “little penis” sex.” Then after he tries to satisfy you, have him use a dildo on you.”   BOING!
  • “Of course, point out the significant difference. A small penis can’t work in so many positions, such as a man sitting on the couch and a woman straddling him (facing him or facing away). Hint at how you miss real sex, and tell him his main duty is to please you orally. He’ll be an expert in no time!”  BOING!
  • “Remember ladies, a pantied hubby wants to worship his wife, so give him every reason to. Dress sexy, wear stockings, garters, and let your wild side out. Couples in the hotwife or fem-led lifestyles often report better health: If your body is on display constantly, chances are you want to get and stay fit.” BOING!

Steve was surprised by his own reaction to this article, and when I asked him what about it was a turn on for him, he said, “I think it was the disarming way that she approached the topic.  It wasn’t written in a degrading and humiliating way, but more of a fun way to mix things up in a relationship. She definitely understands the small penis dynamic.”  I felt exactly the same way too, which is why it was a turn on for me as well.

Now, this doesn’t mean Steve is wearing “women’s panties”, but we have replaced all of his briefs for very sexy and “size appropriate” man panties…lol, which are hot.  We actually went to a site called, “Be-brief” and found some very sexy underwear. I love them because they not only snuggly fit his little package but when I reach down to cup his little penis and balls it is soft and silky to touch. The snug fit is perfect for showcasing his smallness.  :-)

In any event, since we have had a number of guys express an interest in this, I really wanted to write an article on the subject. :-)

So, here are my questions:

  • How many of you wear women’s panties, and if so, does your wife know and what does she think about it?
  • If you do wear them, what is the major turn on or attraction for you in doing so?
  • If you don’t have you ever thought about it or wanted to?

As always, feel free to add anything else you would like to on the subject!

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