The topic of cuckolding is one of the most popular subjects we have introduced and continue to discuss on the Blog. It’s also one of the more controversial. Some of our readers are openly in cuckold relationships, while many, many others desire to explore this kind of relationship with their partner, and yes, we do have those who have no interest in the subject whatsoever.
Those of you who have followed our blog know that Steve desires that I cuckold him. While he makes it no secret that he desires this kind of relationship, I think he has done a really good job in being objective in his treatment of it. I thought his article, “Is Cuckolding A Viable Relationship Alternative?” posted on January 12, 2014 was especially helpful. We have also introduced and explored Fantasy Cuckolding, which is a less risky alternative to the real thing, but is still a lot of fun.
One of the issues related to cuckolding that we haven’t covered in much depth is a woman’s concerns about it. We were recently contacted by a few women that have asked us if we could share our thoughts on the subject specifically in terms of those concerns women typically have about it. I thought this was an excellent idea for an article, because if you do any searching about cuckolding on the Internet, you don’t often see anything written about legitimate concerns a woman might have about it. Instead, what you’re likely to find is how great of a lifestyle it is, and if they list any concerns women might actually have, they are often downplayed or even dismissed.
Since Steve and I have seriously considered entering into a cuckold lifestyle ourselves, I thought I could at least share my personal thoughts, and the host of concerns I have as a married woman who is considering it. So, what I have attempted to do is address the concerns I have, and I think most women would have many of these same concerns if their husband ever approached them about engaging in such a lifestyle. I have broken them down into three categories: (1) Initial Concerns, (2) Secondary Concerns, and (3) Final Concerns. All are equally important and should be considered with the utmost care and respect of both parties.
- Why does he want me to do this? This is the first question any woman will ask themselves. This question will then quickly be followed up with others such as, is he unhappy with our sex life? Why does he want me to have sex with another man? We may even think he has some sinister motive for asking us to consider this. Does he think I’m a slut, and by agreeing to do this, it will “prove” it to him? Or, is he really looking for an excuse to have sex with other women? These are legitimate questions most women will ask. I consider myself to be very sexually open and willing to try almost anything, but when Steve said that cuckolding would really turn him on, to be honest, I was floored. The prospective cuckold thinks and might even say, “This is a great idea! You get to have all the sex you want, with whomever you want, whenever you want, what’s not to like?” Most “would be” cucks think any woman would sign up for this without a second thought, and unfortunately, those that do, are usually doing so for all the wrong reasons, and tend to regret it. What’s far more common is they will think about this proposition and all of the associated questions for a very long time. Some may even reject it outright initially.
- What is his real motivation? I don’t’ know about the rest of you, but in my husband’s case, he wanted me to experience big cock sex. Even though I had perfectly great sex with my husband despite the fact that he has a very small penis, I know this was his major motivation. How did I know? Well, every time he talked about it, his little penis would become stiff instantly. Hard cocks (small or large) don’t lie, and his erection proved to me that seeing me with a man who had a larger cock was definitely the motivation behind it as far as Steve was concerned. Plus, the fact that I have never had big cock sex was another motivation behind it for him. I know the idea really, really turned him on, and he wanted me to be able to experience something he could not give me and which I had never experienced before. As I became more and more familiar with the Blog, and in talking to many other small endowed men, I discovered that his motivation was not only sincere, but was also shared by many small endowed men, who have the same fantasy.
So, once I understood why he wanted me to do this and the motivation behind it, did I jump immediately on board? Not at all, because to be honest, I knew there was much, much more to consider. In fact, I should also point out, that just wrapping my arms around these initial concerns and even understanding his motivation behind it weren’t resolved in my head overnight. Rather, I spent months just trying to sort it all out.
- Considering a new paradigm: I grew up believing in the concept of traditional marriage. Therefore, even though I was sexually very open, I had trouble embracing and accepting the concept of a nontraditional marriage. I would venture to guess most women grew up believing similarly, so how do you introduce another man into your relationship, and reconcile that with your long held view of monogamy? This is definitely not easy, and for many women, it’s impossible no matter how enticing it might sound. To embrace it means accepting a new relationship paradigm, which is not easy for a woman to do.
- Will you view your husband differently? This is a concern that I believe most women would have. Will you view him in some way as less “manly,” or will you consider him to be simply enlightened? If the other man is sexually superior, does that lessen your husband in your eyes? If it is better, will you lose respect for him, or will you view him in a more positive light since he encouraged you to explore this?
- How will cuckolding impact the sex life you have with your partner? Will this spur him on to really compensate and compete for you? Will you want to have more sex with him or less sex? And, what do you do if he wants to abdicate all of his responsibility for sexually satisfying you to your Bull?
- Emotional/Physical Attachment: Another major issue is what if the wife becomes emotionally attached to her new Bull? This is another important consideration to discuss and should not be downplayed. It is a real fear of many women who consider this activity. For a cuckolding arrangement to work the woman has to be able to separate out sex from the emotional involvement. And, don’t forget it can work both ways, what if her Bull becomes emotionally attached to her? It’s not just women who can become emotional about sex, men can too. The reality for most women is, there at least has to be a physical attraction for the other male, and depending on whether or not it is an ongoing arrangement, an emotional attachment could develop too.
So, you have gotten this far, and you think you might be ready to cuckold your husband right? Are there even more concerns and issues to contemplate? Yes and here are some of the more obvious ones to me.
- The Manipulative Cuck: I have communicated with enough cucks and “would be” cucks to know that some can be VERY manipulative. They often suggest cuckolding in the first place because it excites them and makes their little penises stiff. But, then they want to be in control and choreograph the entire scenario. They may even want to tell you what size cock your Bull should have, or even want to select YOUR Bull. They may have the whole scenario laid out where they want to be there and watch, and stroke off, or participate in some fashion. Some may even want to video tape the entire session. It’s as if their cuckoldress is their own personal porn queen. For me, this begs the question, who is really in control here? Is it the “submissive” cuck, or the dominant cuckoldress? In this scenario, the submissive cuck has manipulated his cuckoldress to do exactly what he wants. I don’t know about the rest of you prospective cuckoldresses out there, but this doesn’t work for me. If I decide to cuckold my husband, he knows it’s my pussy, and my rules, which is the way it should be.
- Selecting Your Bull: Selecting your Bull sounds easy enough, but it really isn’t. Do you prefer the Bull to be single, married but in a dysfunctional sexual relationship (if he is married, this could cause a lot of problems for obvious reasons), or newly divorced where he wants sex, but may not have the resources to date traditionally, and may even have a place to play. Do you look for a Bull at a local bar, or go out of town to find one? Do you advertise on the Internet at one of the numerous Married Women Dating Sites, or look elsewhere? If you find a Bull, is it a one-time thing, or are you looking for a Bull who will service you on a regular basis? These are all major questions that must be answered BEFORE you even begin your search.
- There is no “Reset” Button: Once you cuckold your husband, there is no turning back. It’s not like you can undo what has been done, so it’s like the saying, “be careful for what you wish for, because you might just get it.” It’s often been said when a couple considers swinging, that the husband drags his wife kicking and screaming to their first swingers party, but then has to take her home kicking and screaming because she wants to stay. It can be similar with cuckolding, once you introduce it to her, she may come to really enjoy the sexual variety, and not want to give it up. The reality that every “would be” cuckold must face is, once your wife experiences the raw, masculine power of a thick 8” cock between her legs, she may not view sex with her husband in the same way again, but by then, there is no going back.
- Personal Safety: A woman and even a couple’s participation in this activity require common sense, and considering personal safety, should be at the TOP of the list. In addition, how much personal information you should divulge, if any is another VERY serious consideration.
- STDs: If you watch any cuckold movies or videos, you will see “cum” literally “cumming” all over the place. You will see snowballs, creampies and everything else, but what you typically won’t see are condoms. Why? Because it’s not as titillating as seeing cum dripping from every body cavity. But the reality is, any sexual activity comes with risks. Understanding those risks and taking preventative measures is essential. Remember, when you have unprotected sex with someone new, you are having sex with everyone they ever had sex with. Sexual safety is, or should be, of paramount importance.
In conclusion, while cuckolding may be the ultimate fantasy of many guys, and can even be appealing to some women, there are obviously a whole litany of issues and concerns that must be dealt with beforehand. To ignore them would be foolish, and even if you feel like you can honestly address all of the concerns you both have, you may still not choose to do it, instead opting for a much safer alternative of a fantasy cuckolding scenario. Will I cuckold my husband? That’s a good question. One thing I have learned over the last few years is to never, say never! :)
What do the rest of you think? As always, we welcome your thoughts on the subject.